By
Norman Elliott Anderson
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1. Personal attachment (q.v.).
2. Pleasing appendage (q.v.).
Comment: In the above senses, the abbreviation is sometimes used as a pun on the abbreviation for "personal assistant."
paederast:
See pederast.
pair, as in "a pair":
A couple; two persons or objects.
See also couple, duet, duo, dyad, twosome.
pair, as in "to pair":
To form couples; to form a pattern of twos.
See also pair off.
pair-bonding:
The development of an emotional attachment of two people to each other.
See also bond, in love, love.
pair dating:
Engaging, as a couple, in social encounters with other people, whether they are single, couples, or a number of individuals in a group relationship, especially such encounters that are meant to explore whether either sexual activity or a love relationship could eventuate.
See also alternative dating, date, double-date, group sex, new adultery, open couple, open marriage, open relationship, polyamory, swing.
pairing family:
A family (q.v.) formed by the joining of a man and a woman in a non-sexually-exclusive relationship that can be freely terminated by either party.
See also marriage, sexual exclusivity, syndyasmian family, temporary marriage.
pair off:
To form distinct couples; to form from within a pattern of twos.
Comment: When the term is used in reference to a group of people, it often has specific reference to sexual pairing.
"To pair off" emphasizes separation more than does "to pair."
See also pair.
Quotation from Armistead Maupin Illustrating "Pairing Off"
Michael [Toliver] noticed how many [gay] couples there were, how many broad backs settled against broad chests as tenor voices filled the warm night. The world was pairing off these days [during the AIDS epidemic], no doubt about it.
From the novel: Significant Others, [by] Armistead Maupin (New York: Harper & Row, 1987; "Perennial Library"; Tales of the City Series; v. 5)): p. 45.
palimony:
One or more court-ordered support payments to one's ex-partner in a love relationship that was not legally recognized as a marriage.
See also alimony, break-up rules, child support.
panchamakara or pancha makaras (Sanskrit):
"Five substances"; the Tantric great rite, the five substances being madya (wine), mamsa (meat), matsya (fish), mudra (a cereal wafer said to have aphrodisiac properties), and maithuna (ritual sexual union).
Comments: Each substance is called a makara.
Some Tantric sects will practice only three of the five, commonly madya, mudra, and maithuna. Some Tantric schools will substitute other substances, for instance:
- coconut juice, cheese, ginger, rice, and honey;
- honey, cow's milk or coconut juice, garlic or ginger, milk of buffalo or sheep, roasted fruits and shoots;
- composing the mind, inbreathing, outbreathing, holding in the breath, and meditation; or,
- knowledge that intoxicates, mastery of speech, currents of energy flowing through the body, yogic meditation, meditation on the primal act of creation.
The rite is also called (a) the five Ms, and (b) the panchatattva or pancha tatvas ("five elements"), although sometimes the latter term is reserved for when drugs (such as cannabis) are used.
See also chakra puja, choli marg.
Quotation from Indra Sinha Illustrating "Panchamakara" |
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Well respected Tantras like the Kularnava-tantra emphasise that those who take part in the panchamakara ritual mainly for sexual pleasure or out of mere hedonism only defeat themselves. The senses are to be conquered by leaving nothing unexperienced. |
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The Great Book of Tantra: Translations and Images from the Classic Indian texts with Commentary, by Indra Sinha (Rochester, Vt.: Destiny Books, c1993): p. 16. |
panchatattva (Sanskrit):
See panchamakara.
panfidelity:
Faithfully attempting to live in harmonious relationship with the universe by respecting ecological balance, promoting peace, and particpating in mutually fulfilling relationships, the integrity of each being respected.
Comment: Panfidelity has been conceived as a natural extrapolation of or complement to polyfidelity (q.v.).
See also sex golden age, sexual utopia, utopian swinging.
pangamist:
A person who practices indiscriminate, random, unrestricted, or unchanneled mating.
Comment: Absent in the dictionaries I've checked, but a natural permutation of the word "pangamy," so here included.
See also pangamy.
pangamic:
Pertaining to or characterized by pangamy (q.v.).
Comment: Absent in the dictionaries I've checked, but a natural permutation of the word "pangamy," so here included.
pangamy:
1. Indiscriminate, random, unrestricted, or unchanneled mating; the practice of choosing a partner without criteria or, at least, criteria established by others.
2. Random union of gametes.
Comment: Given what is now known about sperm wars (q.v.), it is conceivable that there is no such thing as a perfectly random union of gametes except under artificial conditions.
See also -gamy, pangamist, pangamic, panmixia.
panmixia:
Interbreeding or intermarriage (q.v.) without especial regard as to who belongs to what social group, this as a characteristic of a society -- whether the group is defined by ethnicity, caste, religion, or something else.
Comment: Some maintain that panmixia is a vital part of a strategy for the development of social harmony in a globalized world.
See also amixia, folly, hypergamy, hypogamy, miscegenation, mixed marriage, myriadigamy, pangamy, population race.
pansexual, as in "a pansexual":
1. A person who experiences a suffusion of erotic feeling throughout much or all of his or her way of being in and viewing the world.
2. A person whose sexual expression manifests itself in all kinds of ways or, at least, many ways.
3. A person who is sexually attracted to some of any and all sexes.
See also bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, monosexual, omnisexual, pansexualism, pansexuality, pomosexual, sexual nomad.
pansexual, as in "pansexual experience":
Pertaining to or characterized by pansexualism or pansexuality.
See also bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, monosexual, omnisexual, pansexualism, pansexuality, polymoprphous perverse, pomosexual, sexual, swing both ways.
pansexualism, or pansexuality:
1. The view that "everything is sex," in other words, that all human behavior can be explained in terms of the sex drive.
2. The view that no sexual expression, in and of itself, between consenting parties is immoral, that any and all sexual expression which is purely so is all right.
Comment: The Greek word pan , means "all" or "all kinds of." However, the "everything" or "all" in the above definitions is, in actual use, sometimes an exaggeration.
Regarding the first sense, a bit of historical detail from a couple of specialized dictionaries:
"The view that 'everything is sex' has been attributed to Freud by many of his critics and opponents, but is a complete misrepresentation. Although he traced the development of sexuality from birth to maturity, and described the libido, or sex instinct, as a basic source of energy, he also recognized the importance of other drives such as hostility, hunger, thirst, and, toward the end of his life, the 'death instinct.'"1
"Later psychological philosophers, like Wilhelm Reich, have held ideas closer to pansexualism [than did Freud]."2
References
1 The Language of Sex from A to Z, by Robert M. Goldenson, Kenneth N. Anderson (New York: World Almanac, 1986; "A Walter D. Glanze Book"): p. 195.
2 The Complete Dictionary of Sexology, Robert T. Francoeur, editor-in-chief; Martha Cornog, Timothy Perper, and Norman A. Scherzer, coeditors (New expanded ed. New York: Continuum, 1995): p. 461.
See also "an it harm none, do what ye will," antinomianism, bisexuality, free love, heterosexuality, homosexuality, libertinism, monosexuality, moral equivalence, pansexual, pansexualist, pansexuality, pansexualize, pomosexuality, sexual immorality, sexual liberation, sexual morality, sexual permissiveness, unwelcome admixtures with sexuality.
pansexualist:
1. A person who holds the view that all human behavior can be explained in terms of the sex drive.
2. A person who hold the view that no sexual expression, in and of itself, between consenting parties is immoral.
See also pansexualism, pansexuality, pansexualize, pomosexual.
pansexuality, or pansexualism:
1. An individual's behavior or the behavior of a set of individuals being, in actuality, entirely accounted for by the sex drive.
2. The suffusion of erotic feeling throughout much or all of one's way of being in and viewing the world.
3. Sexual expression manifesting itself in all kinds of ways or, at least, a great many ways.
4. The totality of the kinds of sexuality, whether enduring or fleeting, of which human beings are capable.
5. Sexual orientation that is unbounded by one's own sex relative to that of others; attraction to some of any and all sexes.
Comment: The Greek word pan , means "all" or "all kinds of." However, the "entirety" or "all" or "totality" in the above definitions is, in actual use, sometimes an exaggeration.
See also bisexuality, heterosexuality, homosexuality, monosexuality, omnisexuality, pansexual, pansexualism, pansexualist, polymoprphous perversity, pomosexuality, sexuality.
pansexualize:
To explain all behavior -- or, at least, some comprehensive subset of behavior, such as all human behavior -- and the products thereof in terms of the sex drive.
See also pansexualism, pansexualist.
pantagamy:
A group marriage (q.v.) encompassing all the adult members of a particular social group, in which every man is considered the spouse of every woman and vice versa.
Comment: Etymologically the term is meant to mean "marriage of all"; however, it is formed in such a way as to suggest the opposite, "universal absence of marriage." A better formation for the intended meaning would be "pantogamy."
See also cenogamy, complex marriage, -gamy, omnigamy, pantogamist, pantogamous.
pantogamist:
1. A participant in pantagamy (q.v.).
2. An advocatre or supporter of pantagamy.
Comment: Absent in the dictionaries I've checked, but a natural permutation of the word "pantagamy" (with the adjustment there suggested), so here included.
pantogamous:
Pertaining to or charaterized by pantagamy (q.v.).
Comment: Absent in the dictionaries I've checked, but a natural permutation of the word "pantagamy" (with the adjustment there suggested), so here included.
pantogamy:
See pantagamy.
pants:
See wear the breeches.
paper courtship:
A romance carried on largely by way of letters.
See also courtship, romance.
Quotation from Roger Manvell Illustrating "Paper Courtship"
[Ellen Terry (1847-1928) was an] English actress who became one of the most popular stage performers in both Great Britain and North America... In the 1890s she began her famous "paper courtship" with George Bernard Shaw, one of the most brilliant correspondences in the history of English letter writing.
From: "Terry, (Alice) Ellen,"[signed] R. M. [Roger Manvell (d. 1987)], in: The New Encyclopædia Britannica. Micropædia: Ready Reference (15th ed. Chicago: Encyclopædia Britannica, c1989): v. 11, pp. 651-652, specifically p. 651.
paperless husband:
Male partner in a paperless marriage.
See also husband, lover, paperless marriage, paperless spouse, partner.
Quotation from Alfred Alvarez Illustrating "Paperless Husband"
... Birgita, who had separated from her paperless husband one month before, was clearly in a state.
From: Life After Marriage: Love in an Age of Divorce, by A. Alvarez (New York: Simon and Schuster, c1981): p. 243.
paperless marriage:
A marriage (q.v.) in all aspects except for the legal formalities.
See also ad hoc union, broomstick-marriage, bungalowing, cohabitation, common law marriage, living together, long engagement, ménage, other terms than marriage, paperless husband, paperless spouse, paperless wife.
Quotation from Alfred Alvarez Illustrating "Paperless Marriage"
[241] In Scandinavia the radical young drew the obvious conclusions and tried for a time to do without formal marriage. If legal papers are worth so little and do such harm, they said, let us have marriages without papers, marriages based solely on free choice and goodwill....
[242] The name of the game is "the paperless marriage," and it is played with considerable energy. Elesewhere, it is called "living together," but in Denmark they have given it an appropriately radical, post-'68 title, a gesture of freedom in a form-filling age. In theory, a paperless marriage is a model for the future, a marriage without bureaucracy, without ceremony, without legal equivocation. It is a free union of equals who agree to make a life together, but independently, keeping their own names, their own property, their own proper distance. It is a form of marriage for those on the run from one marital disaster who are terrified of being trapped in another, yet hanker for something more stable and satisfying than an affair. It is also marriage reinterpreted [243] according to the politics of feminism, the dice for once loaded in favor of the women and no allowances made for traditional patriarchal authority. If the union breaks up, for example, the father has no rights over the children ...
[243] A paperless marriage was ideal, he [a sociologist] had told me, until it breaks up. At that point, every possession [244] -- from children to teacups -- can be argued over endlessly, bitterly. The legal wrangling and expense were so inordinate that young couples were beginning to marry again in order to protect themselves against disaster. "You need so many papers in a paperless marriage," he had said, "whereas if you're married, all you need is the license." The paperless marriage had been made prematurely obsolete by easy divorce.
From: Life After Marriage: Love in an Age of Divorce, by A. Alvarez (New York: Simon and Schuster, c1981): chapter 10, "The Paperless Marriage," pp. [236]-246, specifically 241-244.
paperless spouse:
A partner in a paperless marriage.
Comment: Constructed on analogy with "paperless husband" and "paperless wife" (NEA, October 6, 2006).
See also lover, paperless husband, paperless marriage, paperless wife, partner, spouse.
paperless wife:
Female partner in a paperless marriage.
See also lover, paperless marriage, paperless spouse, partner, wife.
Quotation from Alfred Alvarez Illustrating "Paperless Wife"
My friend David and his paperless wife Suzanne thought I should meet someone who was going through this new style of divorce: a divorce without marriage, a blueprint for the future.
From: Life After Marriage: Love in an Age of Divorce, by A. Alvarez (New York: Simon and Schuster, c1981): p. 243.
paper marriage:
1. A high-ranking person's wedding, the fees of which are paid in bank-notes.
2. A marriage (q.v.) that is one in form only, that is according to the documents signed, and not in substance.
See also faux wedding, immigration marriage fraud, mock marriage, sham marriage, wedding.
paphian:
Of or relating to love (q.v.), especially love considered illicit.
Comment: Paphos was an ancient center, located on Cyprus, for the worship of Aphrodite, the goddess of love.
paracoita:
A female with whom one has sexual intercourse.
See also paracoitus, partner, sex partner.
paracoitus:
A male with whom one has sexual intercourse.
See also paracoita, partner.
paradisal marriage:
Marriage
(q.v.) in the Garden of Eden before the Fall of humankind, as
represented, for instance, in the Bible at
Genesis 1-3 or in John Milton's epic poem, Paradise Lost (1667;
2nd ed., 1674); the relationship between Adam and Eve
before they ate the forbidden fruit and were expelled from the Garden
of Eden.
See also Adam's rib, androgyne archetype, helpmeet, prelapsarian marriage, sexual golden age.
paradox of the fortunate fall:
See fortunate fall.
paramour:
A lover of any sex, especially a lover of someone who is married to somebody else.
See also amari, backdoor lover, boytoy, cavaliere servante, cicisbeo, gallant, girl toy, illicit lover, leman, loteby, lover, mistress, other man, other woman, out-of-marriage lover, out-paramour, partner, poplolly, sex partner, spark, steady paramour, Sunday husband, toy boy.
parent:
1. One who has had genetic offspring. In this sense the term is sometimes qualified, as in "genetic parent" or "biological parent." Ordinarily, among human beings, being a parent in this sense implies having mated, however temporarily or durably.
2. A person who has taken on the primary responsibility, in many societies often shared with a mate or ex-mate, for the raising of one or more children.
Comment: One implication of the two definitions is that a child can have two heritages, one genetic and the other one of family culture. Knowledge of both is important to many people, not only to have a sense of where one comes from but also, among other things, for the sake of managing one's health risks.
See also breeder, family, father, genetic partner, mother, only parent, parental marriage, parent without partner, single parent, single-parent family, two-parent family, unwed parent.
parental marriage (Margaret Mead, 1966):
A marriage (q.v.) that is considered by the partners to be durable enough for the raising of children and in which an extra measure of commitment is made to keeping the marriage together for the child-rearing period; a marriage contracted with the specific purpose of founding a family.
Comment: In Margaret Mead's scheme, parental marriage is the second and separately licensed step in a two-step marriage (q.v.).
See also braking hypothesis, individual marriage, parent, procreative marriage, reconstituted marriage, trial marriage.
parent without partner:
A single person who is raising a child.
Comment: I've seen the term only in the plural: "parents without partners," which is abbreviated "PWP."
See also choice mom, divorcé, divorcée, formerly married, only parent, parent, PWP, re-singled, single, single parent, single-parent family, unwed father, unwed mother, unwed parent, widow, widower.
parnel:
1. A priest's mistress (q.v.) or concubine (q.v.).
2. A sexually loose woman.
3. A female prostitute.
See also clericolagnia, gugusse, particular relationship, pastor's wife, preacher's wife, smellsmock; blowen, chippy, courtesan, doxy, güila, hoe, moll, slut, squaw, Sunday wife, tart.
partible paternity:
1. One person having multiple biological fathers, as some in some cultures falsely believe occurs when the mother has sexual intercourse with more than one man.
2. One person having as a biological father one of two or more possible candidates, especially where a child-parent relationship exists with more than one of them.
3. Two or more men each regarding a child as belonging to each of them, especially where any of them could be the biological father, and exercizing parental responsibilities accordingly.
See also double paternity, husband-doubling, monospermy, paternity, previous-sire myth, sloppy seconds, telegony, wife-sharing.
particular relationship:
A lesbian relationship, especially between nuns.
See also amitié particulière, Boston marriage, female marriage, gugusse, homosexuality, lesbian, lesbianism, parnel, she-troth, smellsmock.
partner:
1. In the context of a marriage (q.v.), a person to whom one is married or with whom one shares a spouse in marriage.
2. In the context of a love relationship (q.v.), a person who reciprocates love or who is in a chain of reciprocating love.
3. In the context of a sexual relationship (q.v.), a person with whom one repeatedly shares sexual activity; a person who satisfies or helps to satisfy one's sexual needs and desires on an ongoing basis.
4. In the context of a sexual encounter (q.v.), a person with whom such an encounter takes place.
5. In the context of a discussion of venereal disease, each individual in a chain of sexual contact in relation to each other individual in that same chain.
6. Speaking more broadly in social terms, a person with whom one joins for socializing, play, or work.
See also aiparik, all men to (me), all women to (me), amari, amorosa, amoroso, amortorculist, amourette, angutawkun, assistant, aypareet, aytpareik, babe, baby, beau, bed-fellow, bedmate, bed partner, beloved, beloved stranger, benison, better half, blind date, boy-bridegroom, boyfriend, boytoy, bride, bridegroom, brother starling, bundle of freemates, cadre of beloveds, cavalier, cavaliere servante, child-bride, child-husband, choice of one's heart, cicisbeo, clutch of lovers, cocotte, cohabitant, cohabitee, co-husband, comet, common law husband, common law spouse, common law wife, companion, concubine, consort, constant companion, copemate, co-primary, cosominator, co-spouse, country mistress, country wife, courtesan, co-wife, cuddle buddy, cutie, cutie pie, cyberfling, cyberlover, cybersex partner, darling, date, dear, dearest friend, dearheart, de facto, domestic companion, domestic partner, erotic friend, ex-ex, ex-partner, farmer's wife, flame, freemate, friend with benefits, f*** buddy, f*** mate, gallant, genicon, gentleman friend, genetic partner, gigolo, girl-bride, girlfriend, girl toy, groom, group partner, headdress keeper, heartthrob, hetaera, helpmate, helpmeet, hindermate, honey, housemate, hubby, husband, husband in truth, illegitimate spouse, illicit lover, imbroglio of polyamours, inamorata, inamorato, in-house friend, in (one's) life, insignificant other, intimate companion, intimate friend, intimate partner, jaina, jelly, junior husband, junior wife, kept man, kept woman, lady friend, leman, lesser wife, leveret, lifemate, life partner, life's companion, live-in boyfriend, live-in companion, live-in girlfriend, live-in lover, long-distance lover, long-time companion, long-time love, love (as in "my sweet love"), lovebird, love-companion, lover, loverboy, lovey, loving companion, main squeeze, major squeeze, male concubine, man friend, man in one's life, mate, mbuya, mistress, MLTR, moll, monogamy-insistent partner, mono partner, notr'amour, novia, novio, nuliaqpak, nuliinuaroak, odalisque, offscreen squeeze, old flame, once-in-a-while lover, one, one-and-only, one-night stand, one true love, other half, other man, other other man, other other woman, other significant other, other woman, out-of-marriage lover, owneress, paracoita, paperless hussband, paperless spouse, paperless wife, paracoitus, paramour, partner in love, partner of long standing, pastor's husband, pastor's partner, pastor's wife, perfect catch, personal attachment, phone sex partner, pickup, play-fellow, pleasing appendage, plus one, polyamour, poly-insistent partner, polylove, polylover, polypartner, poplolly, POSSLQ, preacher's husband, preacher's partner, preacher's wife, primary partner, primary wife, primemate, Prince Charming, project, prospect, relationship material, repartner, Romeo, sannup, secondary partner, secondary significant other, secondary wife, second husband, second wife, senior husband, senior wife, sex buddy, sex partner, sex surrogate, sexual partnering, sexual partnership, sheet partner, side girl, significant other, sign mate, sits-beside-him woman, skains-mate, spark, spice (singular), spice (as a plural), splice, spiritual husband, spiritual wife, spousal equivalent, spouse, squaw, squaw man, squish, starter husband, starter spouse, starter wife, steady paramour, studmuffin, Sunday husband, Sunday wife, swain, swainling, sweetheart, sweetie, syzygos, tertiary partner, TOCOTOX, TOTGA, toy boy, trophy husband, trophy wife, true love, umfriend, ungetaken, valentine, very good friend, waighembe, water-sibling, wife in truth, woman friend, woman in one's life, yokefellow, yokemate, zipless f***.
Quotation from Shirley Abbott Illustrating "Partner"
[228] AIDS was an acronym we had all recently and reluctantly learned to recognize: acquired immune deficiency syndrome, a disease that no antibiotic could touch....
Tragedy, banished so briefly in the mid-twentieth century, had come back in style by the late 1980s. Sexual intercourse was no private [229] matter: I was the partner of every man or woman my jet-set businessman had touched, and they all were partners of my partners. God, when had we begun referring to lovers as partners? Limited partners? Partners in what?
From: Love's Apprentice, [by] Shirley Abbott (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co., 1998): pp. 228-229.
partner, as in "to partner":
1. To enter into a domestic union with someone.
2. To enter into a committed love relationship with someone, especially if doing so entails living together.
See also committed love relationship, domestic partnership, partner romantically, partner sexually, romantic partnering, sexual partnering.
Quotation from Isabel Allende Illustrating "Partnered"
Chile is possibly the one country in the galaxy where there is no divorce, and that's because no one dares defy the priests, even though 71 percent of the population has been demanding it for a long time. No legislator, not even those who have been separated from their wives and partnered a series of other women in quick succession, is willing to stand up to the priests ...
From: My Invented Country: A Nostalgic Journey Through Chile, [by] Isabel Allende; translated from the Spanish by Margaret Sayers Peden (New York, ny; harperCollins, c2003): p. 76. Translation of: Mi Pais Inventado.
partner in life:
See life partner.
partner in love:
1. A person with whom one is in a love relationship.
2. A person with whom one is in love and who reciprocates with love, whether declared or not, but with whom one is somehow prevented from being in a love relationship.
See also love relationship, partner; in love, love sickness, pine for, undecalred love.
partner of long standing:
A person with whom one has been in a love relationship for a considerable duration.
See also long-time companion, long-time love, partner, steady paramour.
partner romantically:
To establish or to maintain an attachment between each other, an attachment that entails both mutual affection and mutual sexual attraction.
See also partner, partner sexually, romantic partnering.
partner sexually:
To satisfy or help to satisfy each other's libidinous needs and desires on an ongoing basis as the result of a conscious choice to do so.
Comment: This can be expressed in a variety of ways, for example, "to partner in sex."
See also be man to a woman, be woman to a man, partner, partner romantically, sexual partnering (note especially the comments), sexual partnership.
partner sharing:
1. The exchanging of marital or love relationship partners across marital or love relationship lines for recreational sex, with the consent of all involved.
2. Consensually having at least one partner in common with one or more others.
See also agapemone, brother starling, doused lights, good match, heart-swapping, husband swapping, mate swapping, pi supuhui, spouse exchange, swing, wife swapping; biamory, bukis, buksvåger, buksvägerska, co-husband, co-spouse, co-wife, non-monogamy, notr'amour, pentamory, polyamory, polyfidelity, quadramory, share (one's partner) with, sheet partner, TOCOTOX, triamory, ungetaken, wife-sharing.
partner swapping:
See mate swapping, partner sharing.
partouse (French):
An orgy (q.v.).
Comment: Also spelled partouze.
See also group sex, sex party.
party, as in "a party in which people gather":
See circuit party, cupcake party, doused lights, flirt party, friction party, house party, key party, Mandingo party, open party, pimps and hoes party, purity ball, rainbow party, sex party, singles party, skin party, tarts party, toe party, vicars and tarts party.
party, as in "sailor Bungy's with his party":
A girlfriend.
Source: Sea Slang of the Twentieth Century: Royal Navy, Merchant Navy, Yachtsmen, Fishermen, Bargemen, Canalmen, Miscellaneous, by Wilfred Granville; introduction and etymologies by Eric Partridge (New York: Philosophical Library, 1950): p. 175.
See also dobash, fishing fleet, girlfriend, girl in every port, jelly, knitting, lanlady, long-haired chum, pash, popsey.
party, as in "to party":
1. To engage in casual sex (q.v.).
2. To engage in swinging.
See also open party, recreational sex, swing, tarts party, vicars and tarts party, zipless f***.
party rape:
Gang rape (q.v.) committed at a social gathering.
See also rape.
pash:
1. A letter ranked according to its importance to the recipient.
2. A girlfriend, especially one who is ranked, as in "number one pash," "number two pash," etc., or as in "best girl," "next best girl," etc.
Source: Sea Slang of the Twentieth Century: Royal Navy, Merchant Navy, Yachtsmen, Fishermen, Bargemen, Canalmen, Miscellaneous, by Wilfred Granville; introduction and etymologies by Eric Partridge (New York: Philosophical Library, 1950): p. 176.
See also dobash, fishing fleet, girlfriend, girl in every port, jelly, knitting, lanlady, long-haired chum, love letter, party, popsey, primary partner, secondary partner, tertiary partner.
pass, as in "a pass":
See make a pass at.
pass, as in "to pass":
Not to be noticed in a way that one is different from others in a group, especially when being so noticed might excite prejudice. Thus:
- a light-skinned person of African descent might pass as a Caucasion;
- a gay person might pass as straight; or,
- a polyamorous person might pass as monogamous.
See also beard, convert, cover, on the down low.
passion:
1. Experience by way of sensation acting upon oneself; the condition of passive becoming. This was a philosophical sense of Greek pathos = Latin passio from Plato through the Middle Ages and later, and those terms in that sense are frequently translated into English as "passion."
2. Suffering.
3. Capitalized, the sufferings of Jesus after the Last Supper, taken collectively and inclusive of his Crucifixion, there usually being a connotation of religious significance (compare the Greek paschô or Latin passio, as at Acts 1:3, and the Greek pathos, as at Ignatius, Romans 6); also any composition representing them, although often in such cases the word is used as an adjective, as in "Passion narrative" and "Passion play." For the canonical Gospel accounts, see Matthew 26:30-27:50; Mark 14:26-15:37; Luke 22:39-23:46; and John 18:1-19:30.
4. Martyrdom, or an account thereof.
5. Enthusiasm, or the object thereof.
6. A feeling from within, but neither intellectual nor spiritual in character, that is capable of spurring one to good or to evil. This is a sense from moral theology.
7. A strong emotion, especially one capable of influencing one's behavior, perhaps even over-riding or undermining one's will-power; an inwardly felt motive that is capable of running contrary to reason.
8. A sensibility that powerfully informs one's values, which in turn serve as the basis for decision-making and action.
9. The set of emotions associated with being in love, or the object thereof.
10. Powerful sexual desire, or the object thereof.
Comment: The philosophical senses can be enumerated indefinitely, almost philosopher by philosopher.
Coping with the passions, both in terms of self-control and social regulation, has been a major theme of moral and political theory.
See also amour-passion, ardor, eroticism, in love, Laws of Lovers' Passion, limerance, love, love-passion, lust, new relationship energy, passionate, passionate love, proceptive phase, sexual desire, sexual morality, unsynchronized passion, yearning.
Quotation from Lauren Slator Illustrating "Passion" |
|---|
|
Studies around the world confirm that, indeed, passion usually ends. Its conclusion is as common as its initial flare. No wonder some cultures think selecting a lifelong mate based on something so fleeting is folly. |
|
From: "Love" = Cover title: "Love: The Chemical Reaction" = Table of contents title: "True Love," by Lauren Slater; photographs by Jodi Cobb, in: National Geographic; v. 209, no. 2 (February 2006): pp. 32-49, specifically pp. 39, 44. |
passionate:
1. Capable of or characterized by intense emotion or emotionally infused convictions; ardent.
2. Arising from the seat of emotions.
3. Easily provoked into anger.
4. Characterized by or pertaining to intense romantic emotion, especially such emotion in expressive form.
5. Characterized by or pertaining to intense sexual desire, especially such desire in expressive form.
Comment: The term sometimes connotes the intent to arouse emotion on the part of another or others.
See also erotic, passion, romantic.
Quotation from D. H. Lawrence Illustrating "Passionate and Passion" |
|---|
| Teresa
had a good deal of the nun in her. But that was because she was deeply
passionate, and deep passion tends to hide within itself, rather than
expose itself to vulgar contact. |
| From the novel: The Plumed Serpent (Quetzalcoatl),
by D. H.
Lawrence (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1926): chapter 25, p. 402. |
passionate love:
A romantic absorption in and amorous interest in an individual; an intense emotional state characterized by a multiplicity of emotions, such as sexual desire for a love interest, desire to be close, even attached, to that individual, elation, and possibly anxiety and jealousy, also typically by a heightened vulnerability to being hurt emotionally.
Comment: Such love is sometimes contrasted with companionate love (q.v.), which is described as lower-key.
See also amour-passion, chemistry, chemistry of love, crush, crystallization, hot love, infatuation, in love, Laws of Lovers' Passion, limerance, love, love-passion, new relationship energy, passion, proceptive phase.
passion-love:
See amour-passion, love-passion.
passive-congenial relationship:
See five kinds of relationship.
past attachment:
A former lover or former spouse.
See also attachment, ex, ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-husband, ex-partner, ex-wife, ghosts of relationships past, left-over desire, left-over love, letter group (X), quondam husband, quondam wife.
pastor's husband:
Male spouse of a female member of the Christian clergy.
Comment: The expectations for pastor's husbands seem not to be as well formed as they are for pastor's wives.
See also clerical marriage, clericolagnia, husband, partner, pastor's partner, pastor's wife, preacher's husband, spouse.
pastor's partner:
A person with whom a member of the Christian clergy is in a committed love relationship or marriage.
See also clerical marriage, clericolagnia, partner, pastor's husband, pastor's wife, preacher's partner.
pastor's wife:
Female spouse of a male member of the Christian clergy.
Comments: The term "pastor's wife" is most associated with Protestant traditions. A close synonym is "preacher's wife."
Typically a church will impose heavy expectations on a pastor's wife -- not only to be the ideal church member and model of a Christian wife, but also to take various payless leadership positions in the church, to entertain in her "role" as pastor's wife freely, and to raise a family, each member of which is a "testimony" to the faith -- these things despite the fact that the typical full-time pastor works more than sixty hours a week for a salary that shamelessly exploits the service motive. She and her family will thus live, or live in resistance against, an unnatural pressurized fishbowl existence, albeit one that, by virtue of the husband's spiritual vocation, may straddle social classes. Sometimes she herself will view her role as being part of a joint ministry.
The terms, "pastor's husband," "pastor's spouse," and "pastor's partner," do not necessarily carry the same associations, in part since they have come into general use during an era that stresses the distinctness of each individual, whether male or female, with respect to labor. This, however, does not necessarily mean complete release from churchly expectations.
With regard to "pastor's wife/pastor's husband," as with "farmer's wife/farmer's husband," when the connotations are not comparable (as, even today, they seldom are), there would seem to be unfairness in language with respect to gender; and so the terms should be used either advisedly or not at all. Language mavens are usually loath to make the point out of deference to religious institutions, but since I was a preacher's kid and have worked most of my adult life in religious institutions, I will do so: If religious institutions do not root exploitation and prejudice out of their own expectations and practices, even, maybe especially, with regard to those whose motive is to serve or to partner with those who do, then how can they as institutions expect to have any beneficial effect upon or prophetic voice within society? Sometimes instead society at large moves towards greater fairness while religious institutions, which are often exempted under law, continue to perpetuate society's old unfairnesses.
By the way, "iman's wife," "priest's wife," "rabbi's wife," etc. don't automatically connote role expectations to the same extent (except within certain traditions), although sometimes such partners have special expectations laid upon them anyway. The same with regard to "chief executive's wife" and "politician's wife"; although the wife of the head of a government may be expected to fill a "first lady" role and may experience some of what a pastor's wife typically experiences; in fact, she will often also have other experiences typical of someone in her position. For other terms along these lines, see under "consort."
See also clerical marriage, clericolagnia, farmer's wife, "one flesh," parnel, partner, pastor's husband, pastor's partner, preacher's wife, spouse, wife.
Related terms beyond the scope of this glossary: missionary kid (MK), preacher's kid (PK).
patched-up business:
1. A situation where matters had gone wrong and are now fixed but are not as good as they should be or could have been.
2. A situation where marriage is the resolution of a sexual entanglement in a context where such entanglement is considered dishonorable.
See also shotgun wedding.
Quotation from Jane Austen Illustrating "Patched-up Business"
[Lady Catherine de Bourgh to Elizabeth Bennet]: '... I am no stranger to the particulars of your youngest sister's infamous elopement. I know it all; that the young man's marrying her, was a patched-up business, at the expense of your father and uncles...'
From the novel: Pride and Prejudice, [by] Jane Austen (New York: Barnes & Noble Books, c2003): chapter 56, p. 445. Originally published: Pride and Prejudice: A Novel ..., by the author of "Sense and Sensibility" (London: T. Egerton, 1813).
pater:
The husband of a child's mother and legal father of that child.
See also father; genitor; husband; Mater semper certa est, pater est, quem nuptiae demonstrant; paternity; smismar.
Pater est quem nuptiae demonstrant:
See Mater semper certa est, pater est, quem nuptiae demonstrant.
paterfamilias:
A man who heads a household.
Contrast mater familias (q.v.) See also father-only family, household, patriarchal family, patricentric family.
paternal discrepancy:
Begetting of a child by an individual other than the mother's mate.
See also cuckoldry, duped dad, extra-pair copulation, genetic partner, paternity.
paternity:
1. Biological (genetic) fatherhood.
2. Legally recognized fatherhood, whether or not one is the biological father.
3. Fatherhood as a function within a family and in relation to particular children, inclusive of the panoply of associations with it.
4. Descent on the father's side.
Comment: The term is also used adjectivally, as in "paternity leave."
Contrast maternity (q.v.). See also double paternity; duped dad; father of [my, your, her] child(ren); genetic partner; genitor; Mater semper certa est, pater est, quem nuptiae demonstrant; partible paternity; pater; paternal discrepancy; patriarchal; salvator femininus; unwed father.
pathic:
One receiving the phallus in a male homosexual encounter.
Contrast pederast (q.v.). See also active-passive split, catamite, cinaedus, gay male, homosexual, malakos, pornos, sodomite.
patriarchal:
1. Headed, per custom, by a male.
2. Of or pertaining to a patriarchal family or the headship thereof.
Contrast matriarchal (q.v.). See also gamical, paternity, patriarchal family, patriarchal marriage.
patriarchal family:
1. A family (q.v.) organized with the father or senior father as the formal and functional head, especially when this is according to custom.
2. A family that is ruled by a senior male and organized according to patrilineal descent, especially when this is according to custom. Patrilocal residence (q.v.) is sometimes also an expected feature of a patriarchal family.
Contrast matriarchal family (q.v.). See also consanguine family, doll's house marriage, doll's house relationship, "head of the wife," paterfamilias, patriarchalism, patricentric family, polygyny, stem family, wear the breeches.
patriarchalism:
1. Belief that in a social unit -- such as a state, business, or family -- a male should lead, except, perhaps, where no willing or qualified male is available or where that social unit is made up of women only.
2. Implementation of such a belief in practice.
Contrast matriarchalism (q.v.). See also double standard, feminism, male chauvinism, patriarchal family.
patriarchal marriage:
1. A marriage (q.v.) that conforms to a patriarchal system.
2. Polygyny or plural marriage, after the pattern set by Abraham, Jacob, and Moses.
See also Celestial Marriage, lord, non-monogamy, master, patriarchal, plural marriage, plural wife, polygyny.
patricentric family:
A two-generational family in which the father is the key figure, the mother's position being casual, temporary, or otherwise peripheral.
Coined by me on analogy with "matricentric family." But perhaps it already exists.
Contrast matricentric family (q.v.). See also family, father-only family, paterfamilias, patriarchal family.
patrilocal residence:
In reference to the married, living in the husband's place of origin and with or near his father, generally in accordance with custom.
See also ambilocal residence, amitalocal residence, avunculocal residence, bilocal residence, duolocal residence, matrilocal residence, matripatrilocal residence, neolocal residence, patriarchal family, unilocal residence, uxoribilocal residence, uxorilocal residence, uxoripatrilocal residence, virilocal residence, walk to and fro.
Pauline privilege:
See privilegium Paulinum.
pay court to:
See court.
PDA:
Public display of affection (q.v.).
peacock:
1. To attempt to gain sexual attention, especially in a public way.
2. To cop vanity or actually to puff oneself up with vanity.
Comment: On analogy with tail feather fanning behavior on the part of males of the genus, pavo, especially of the species pavo cristatus.
See also flirt.
peccadillo; plural, peccadilloes or peccadillos:
1. A small sin or little fault.
2. A sexual escapade that violated sexual mores or morality but that is considered by the speaker to have been a small offense because of, for instance, its brevity, its limited activity, or its insignificance.
3. A temporary lapse of emotional fidelity; falling in love, for a time, with someone other than one's spouse.
4. The person with whom one had a sexual escapade or a lapse of emotional fidelity.
See also amourette, dalliance, emotional infidelity, escapade romantique, fling, flirtation, illicit love, illicit relationship, inappropriate relationship, indiscretion, irregular connection, lover, one-night stand, perversion, sex scandal, sexual immorality, sexual mores, short-term relationship, unwelcome admixture with sexuality.
Quotations from D. H. Lawrence Illustrating and Contextualizing "Peccadilloes"
[189, the character Mrs. Hepburn to Hannele] "... But I never throw stones. I know what it is myself to have temptations. I have to flirt a little -- and when I was younger -- well, the men didn't escape me, I assure you. And I was so often scorched. But never quite singed. My husband never minded. He knew I was really safe. Oh yes, I have always been faithful to him. But still -- I have been very near the flame."
[192, again Mrs. Hepburn to Hannele] "Perhaps one needs a tiny pinch of the salt of jealousy. I believe one does. And I have not had one jealous moment for seventeen years. So that, really, when I heard a whisper of something going on here, I felt almost pleased. I felt exonerated for my own little peccadilloes, for one thing. And I felt he was perhaps a little more human. Because, after all, it is nothing but human to fall in love, if you are alone for a long time and in the company of a beautiful woman -- and if you're an attractive man yourself."
From the short story: "The Captain's Doll," in: The Ladybird, by D. H. Lawrence (London: Martin Secker, 1923): pp. 189, 192. The italics are his.
pederast:
1. The senior male in a homosexual relationship between an adult male and a male youth, in a typical classical model the senior having phallic access to the youth, including the youth's anus.
2. An adult male who exercises his phallus in the anus of a young male.
3. A male analist, especially with one or more other males.
Comment: Etymologically the term means "lover of youth"; however, in English, a different term, "pedophile," is typically used to convey the sense of an adult who is attracted to and has sex with minors, particularly pre-pubescent or early pubescent minors. Sometimes "pederast" is treated as a subcategory of "pedophile"; sometimes it is treated as the complement to "pedophile," pedophilia then being chiefly heterosexual orientation to minors; and sometimes, despite the etymology, it is disassociated from love of youth altogether.
By the way, there is nothing etymological to suggest anality, only heavy historical associations; that is, unless an alternate etymology can be demonstrated relating the term to pedo ("I fart") and podex ("anus"), rather than pais/paid- (child).
Instead of the terms "pederast" and "catamite," sometimes "erastes" and "eromenos" could be substituted. Speaking of male homosexuality among the ancient Greeks, K. J. Dover wrote:
"The pais in a homosexual relationship was often a youth who had attained full height (the vase-paintings leave us in no doubt about that); in order to avoid cumbrousness and at the same time to avoid the imprecision of 'boy', I have consistently adopted the Greek term erömenos, masculine passive participle of erän, 'be in love with ...', 'have a passionate desire for ...' [snip] For the senior partner I have adopted the Greek noun erastës, 'lover', which is equally applicable to heterosexual and homosexual relations [snip] From now on 'erastes' and 'eromenos' will be printed as if they were English words."1
Reference
1 Greek Homosexuality, [by] K. J. Dover (Updated and with a new postscript. Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, c1989): p. 16.
Contrast catamite (q.v.) and pathic (q.v.). See also arsenokoitës, cinaedus, gay lifestyle, gay male, homosexual, pedophile, sodomite.
Quotation from Fred. Chas. Forberg Illustrating "Pederast" |
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|
A man who exercises his member in the anus, be it of a man or a woman, pedicates; he is called a pederast, pedicon, drawk [from the Greek term, draö, meaning "I work, execute"], and the other party, who allows himself to be invaded in that way, is called the patient, cinaedus, catamite, minion, effeminate; if adult or worn out, he is named exolete. The masculine pleasure (so called because women allowed themselves much more rarely to be pedicated than men) is appreciated equally by the active party, the pedicon, as by the passive party, the patient. |
|
From: De Figuris Veneris: Manual of Classical Erotology, by Fred. Chas. Forberg [i.e. Friedrich Karl Forberg, 1770-1848] (New York: Medical Press of New York, 1964): pp. 45-46. Perhaps due to my limited reading on the subject, this is the only instance I've seen of woman being brought into the picture as a passive party in the definition of "pederast." It is also the only example I have seen of "drawk." By the way, for other synonyms of the "passive party," see under "catamite." |
pederasty:
1. A male homosexual relationship, especially between an adult and a youth.
2. Anal intercourse, especially between males.
See also active-passive split, ephebophilia, pederast, pedophilia.
pedestal:
See place on a pedestal.
pedestalism:
1. Reverence for, idolization of, or adoration of a person to whom one is attracted.
2. The expectation of being revered by any who would dare to love oneself.
3. The tendency of members of one sex in a given culture or subculture to revere members of another sex, and any expectation that members of the other sex have of being revered.
Comment: Sometimes pedestalism is reversed. For instance, before marriage it may be the woman who is revered, after marriage the man.
See also adoration-lust, adore, Bridegroom Fallacy, dulia, gyniolatry, husband worship, place on a pedestal.
pedophile:
1. An adult who sexually molests one or more minors.
2. A post-pubescent person who is sexually attracted to pre-pubescent or early pubescent children.
See also jail bait, pederast, -philia, San Quentin quail.
pedophilia:
1. A psychological condition on the part of a post-pubescent person in which sexual arousal is dependent upon having a sex partner that is pre-pubescent or in early pubescence, either in reality or in the imagination.
2. A dominant and compelling sexual attraction to children.
See also ephebophilia, gerontophilia, nepiophilia, pederasty, -philia.
peer marriage:
A marriage (q.v.) in which the partners are on equal terms in relation to each other and in which the point is growth of the partners and cultivation of the relationship itself in a way that is free of significant secrets, that is welcoming of input from outside experiences, and that allows for openness with others.
See also new paradigm relating.
pellicacy:
The state of having a mistress or concubine.
Comment: From the Latin word, pellex ("concubine") or pellicatus ("a cohabiting with a kept mistress").
Source: "Glossary of Swedenborgian Terms," compiled by William Ross Woofenden, in: Emanuel Swedenborg: A Continuing Vision ..., edited by Robin Larsen ... [et al.]; introduction by George F. Dole (New York: Swedenborg Foundation, c1988): pp. [5121-517.
See also concubine, hetairism, kept woman, mistress.
pen pal:
1. A person with whom one corresponds in writing on a fairly regular basis, thereby forming and maintaining a friendly relationship.
2. A circumlocution for a prospective mail-order bride or prospective mail-order husband.
See also long-distance relationship, love letter, mail marriage, mail-order bride, mail-order husband, picture bride.
pentacle:
A love relationship that has one or more characteristics analogous to a five-pointed star, particularly a love relationship that has five members.
Comment: The five-pointed star is an occult, magical, or mystical symbol for some. Thus some people are particularly attracted to the idea of a pentacle made up of love partners and some are particularly repulsed.
See also letter group (A, F, K, M), moresome, pentad, pentangle, polygon, quadramory, quadrigamy.
pentad:
A love relationship comprised of five partners.
See also alternate relationship geometries, dyad, hexad, letter group (A, F, K, M), moresome, pentacle, pentangle, polygon, quadramory, quadrigamy, tetrad, triad.
pentamorist:
1. A person who is in love with five people at the same time or in a love relationship with each of five people at the same time.
2. A person who is particularly given to or has the particular potential for five love relationship partners at a time.
See also pentmory, polyamorist, quadramorist.
pentamorous:
1. Pertaining to loving five at one time.
2. Pertaining to above-board non-monogamy in which one person has five partners.
3. Particularly given to or having the particular potential for five love relationship partners at a time.
Comment: Absent in the dictionaries I've checked, but a natural permutation of the word "pentamorist," so here included.
See also -amory, pentamory, polyamorous, quadramorous.
pentamory:
A form of polyamory (q.v.) in which a person is in love with five people at the same time or in a love relationship with each of five people at the same time.
Comment: Absent in the dictionaries I've checked, but a natural permutation of the word "pentamorist," so here included.
See also -amory, hexad, InSix, letter group (H, xi, pi), partner sharing, pentamorist, pentamorous, polygon, quadramory, sextet.
pentangle:
A love relationship comprised of five partners.
See also letter group (A, F, K, M), moresome, pentacle, pentad, polygon, quad, quadramory, triangle.
pentapopemptic:
1. Pertaining to or characterized by five farewells.
2. Pertaining to or characterized by five divorces on the part of an individual.
Source: Mrs. Byrne's Dictionary of Unusual , Obscure, and Preposterous Words, gathered from numerous and diverse authoritative sources by Mrs. Byrne; edited, with an introduction by Mr. Byrne (Secaucus, N.J.: University Books [and] Citadel Press, c1974): p. 157.
See also apopemptic, divorced, polyapopemptic.
perambulating navy lists:
Women who shop for males among the sailors stopped in Malta.
Comment: So-called "for they know the seniority -- and pay -- of every officer of their acquaintance."
Reference
Sea Slang of the Twentieth Century: Royal Navy, Merchant Navy, Yachtsmen, Fishermen, Bargemen, Canalmen, Miscellaneous, by Wilfred Granville; introduction and etymologies by Eric Partridge (New York: Philosophical Library, 1950): s.v. "fishing fleet," p. 96.
See also fishing fleet.
perfect catch:
A person one considers, perhaps prospectively, an ideal mate.
See also catch, Dirty Harry syndrome, dream date, genicon, ideal, made for each other, match made in heaven, Miss Right, Miss Wonderful, Mister Right, Mister Wonderful, Ms. Right, Prince Charming, soul mate, template (for a lover), true love, true lover.
Pericope de Adultera (Latin):
"The pericope (book section) on the woman caught in adultery," which in most Bibles is located at John 7:53-8:11, but which is not original to that Gospel.
Comment: Generally, as a book section, a pericope is a cohesive unit.
See also adulteress, adultery, nonjudgmental, "was Jesus married" question (which see for discussion).
periodic alimony:
Alimony (q.v.) paid at intervals over a period of time determined by the court, the amount subject to revision according to the needs of the person receiving alimony and the ability of the other to pay.
periodization:
The segmentation of history per a grand scheme, for instance one that accounts for variations in what is considered moral, the polygyny of the Hebrews being perhaps the most prominent practice to account for.
Comment: The school of theology known as Dispensationalism employs a form of periodization whereby God is seen as working differently with humankind in different, theologically defined periods of history.
See also celibacy, compartmentalization, monogamy, "neither marry, nor are given in marriage," polygamy, polygyny, sexual morality.
Quotation from Roland H. Bainton Illustrating "Periodization"
[128] ... the Anabaptist movement in The Netherlands was confronted by the necessity for clarification. A conference to that end was held in the early fall of 1535 at Bocholt, where [David] Joris proved to be the most influential figure....
[129] The problem of polygamy was handled by a periodization of history. The first period was that of the Old Testament patriarchs marked by polygamy, the second that of the Son in the New Testament characterized by monogamy, and the third would be the age of the Spirit distinguished by celibacy. Thus the patriarchs were not condemned and polygamy was not condoned.
From: "The Heretic as Hypocrite: David Joris," chapter 5 of: The Travail of Religious Liberty: Nine Biographical Studies, by Roland H. Bainton (Philadelphia: Westminster Press, c1951): pp. [125]-148, specifically pp. 128-129.
permanent alimony:
Court-ordered payments for an ex-spouse during the course of his or her lifetime.
See also alimony.
permanent arrangement:
1. A mutual
understanding or way of doing things that is meant to last long into
indefinite future.
2. A
marriage, domestic union, or some other committed love relationship
that is meant to last long into the indefinite future.
See also
arrangement, committed love relationship, domestic partnership,
marriage.
Quotation from Cassandra King Illustrating "Permanent Arrangement" |
|---|
|
Godwin shook his head. "Poor Celeste. Nothing's going to come of that, you know. Simms has had countless mistresses over the years, always flamboyant types; cocktail waitresses, go-go dancers, strippers. I hear he's good to them, taking them on trips, giving expensive gifts, and so forth. So Celeste'll get something out of it, if not a permanent arrangement. I can't see him and Libby ever divorcing, even though she's a rather cold woman, I suspect." |
|
From the novel: The Sunday Wife, [by] Cassandra King (New York: Hyperion, c2002): p. 165. |
perpetual virginity of Mary:
See Virgin Mary.
personal ad; plural, personals or personal ads:
1. An individual's published advertisement soliciting contacts to explore the possibility of starting a friendship or love relationship or of engaging in sexual relations.
2. Something a person says in a group which makes that person sound appealling to one or more others. This is generally a humorous sense. For instance, in a USENET newsgroup that bans personals, a person may say something appealling and receive a response like this: "Hey, no personals!"
Comments: Most of the abbreviations in the chart below are common; however, abbreviation lists vary from publication to publication.
Sometimes personals include sexually explicit abbrevations. Such abbreviations are not included below.
Abbreviations Sometimes Used In Personals
A
Asian
AC/DC
Sexual activity with any sex enjoyed
Aqu
Aquarius
Ari
Aries
Asc
Ascendant or rising sign (in astrology)
ASL
Age, sex, location
b
boy, a male less than 13 years old
B
Black
BBW
Big beautiful woman
B/D or B&D
Bondage and discipline (or dominance)
BDSM
Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism
Bi
Bisexual
C
Christian
Can
Cancer (in astrology)
Cap
Capricorn
CC
Chubby chaser
CD or C/D
Crossdresser
CPL
Couple
D
Divorced
D&D free or D/D free
Drug and disease free
DDF
Drug and disease free
Dom
Dominant male
Domme
Dominant female
D/s
Dominant/submissive, or Dominance/submission
DTE
Down to earth
f
A female at least 13 but less than 18 years old
F
A female, especially one 18 or over
Fet
Fetish
FTA
Fun travel adventure
FtM
Female-to-male transgendered
g
girl, a female less than 13 years old
G
Gay
GBM
Gay black male
Gem
Gemini
GSOH
Good sense of humor
GWM
Gay white male
Abbreviations Sometimes Used In Personals (continued)
H
Hispanic
HBB
Hot Bi Babe (Bi = bisexual)
HWP
Height/weight proportionate
IR
Interracial
IRL
In real life
ISO
In search of
J
Jewish
K
Kids
L
Lesbian
LD
Light drinker
LDR
Long distance relationship
LDS
Latter Day Saints (Mormon)
Lib
Libra
LL
Leather lover
LS
Legally separated, or Light smoker
LTR
Long term relationship, or Lifetime relationship
m
A male at least 13 but less than 18 years old
M
A male, especially one 18 or over
MBA
Married but available, or Masters in Business Administration
MBC
Married black couple
MBiC
Married bisexual couple
mbl
Married but looking
MC
Midheaven (in astrology)
MM
Marriage minded
M/P Switch
Mono/poly switch
MSM
Men seeking men, or Men who have sex with men
MSW
Men seeking women
MtF
Male-to-female transgendered
MWC
Married white couple
NA
Native American
NBM
Never been married
ND or N/D
Non-drinker, No drinking, or No drugs
N/Drugs
No drugs
NK or N/K
No kids
NS or N/S
Non-smoker
Abbreviations Sometimes Used In Personals (continued)
P
Professional, or Parent
Par
Parent
Pis
Pisces
PMS
Please make snacks
Poly
Polyamorous
P/P
Photo and phone number
S
Single (never married)
Sag
Sagitarius
S&M or SM or S/M
Sado-masochism
SASE
Self-addressed stamped envelope
SBF
Single black female
SBiF
Sngle bisexual female
SBM
Single black male
Sco
Scorpio
SD
Social drinker
SGL
Single
SI
Similar interests
S/M or S&M
Sadism and masochism
SOH
Sense of humor
STDs
Sexually transmitted diseases (generally replaces VDs)
STR
Straight
STR8
Straight
SWF
Single white female
SWM
Single white male
Sub
Submissive
TAN
Tested Antibody Negative for HIV (AIDS)
Tau
Taurus
TG
Transgendered
TLC
Tender loving care
TS
Transexual
TV
Transvestite
VD
Venereal disease (see under STDs)
Vir
Virgo
W
- In first position: Widowed.
- In second position: White.
- Example: WWF = Widowed white female
w/
With
WAA
Will answer all
WE or W/E
Well endowed
Wi
Widowed
WSM
Women seeking men
WSW
Women seeking women, or Women who have sex with women
WTR
Willing to relocate
YO
Years old
420 or 4:20
"Four-twenty": pot (marijuana) friendly
See also alternative dating, chemistry, dating plan, dyadic notation, F, LDR, M, mbl, M/P switch, open-minded, polyamorous, romantic resumé, triadic notation, video dating, wink.
personal attachment (P.A.):
A naval officer's spouse, especially one who remains in the port where that officer's ship is stationed, that is, to which it is attached.
Source: Sea Slang of the Twentieth Century: Royal Navy, Merchant Navy, Yachtsmen, Fishermen, Bargemen, Canalmen, Miscellaneous, by Wilfred Granville; introduction and etymologies by Eric Partridge (New York: Philosophical Library, 1950): s.v. "P.A.," p. 173.
See also bundle man, fishing fleet, lanlady, owneress, P.A., partner, pleasing appendage, sloping billet, spouse, wife.
personalism:
1. A philosophy or theology that assigns preeminence to personhood, whether ontologically, morally, or otherwsie.
2. In ethics, more specifically: Recognition of persons as possessing transcendent value.
Comments: "Personalism" translates the word Personalismus, which is commonly attributed to the German theologian, Friedrich Schleiermacher (1768-1834), who used the term in 1799.
Personalism is often contrasted with other positions or with encroachments upon persons, for instance, with pantheism, moral absolutism, or the domination of technology.
See also agapic love, devalue sex, sexual ethics, sexual morality, relationalism.
Quotation from Friedrich Schleiermacher Illustrating "Personalism" |
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Mehr Schein mögte es vielleicht haben, daß der Personalismus und die ihm entgegengesezte Pantheistische Vorstellungsart in der Religion uns zwei solche individuelle Formen derselben an die Hand gebe; aber Schein ist es doch auch nur. |
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It might have more the appearance that in religion personalism and the pantheistic type of representation opposed to personalism present us with two such individual forms of religion. But it is also merely appearance, after all. |
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The above German text is from: "Fünfte Rede: Über die Religionen," in: Über die Religion: Reden an die Gebildeten unter ihren Verächtern (1799), [von] Friedrich Schleiermacher; herausgegeben von Güunter Meckenstock (Berlin; New York: Walter de Gruyter, 2001; in series: De Gruyter Texte): pp. 235-312, specifically p. 256 (following the pagination of the 1799 edition given in the margin). The word "Personalismus" occurs once more in the paragraph from which the above sentence is quoted. Originally published, Berlin: Johann Friedrich Unger, 1799. The above English translation, which is of the 1799 edition, is from: "Fifth Speech: On the Religions," in: On Religion: Speeches to Its Cultured Despisers, [by] Friedrich Schleiermacher; introduction, translation, and notes by Richard Crouter (Cambridge; New York: Cambridge University Press, 1988; in series: Texts in German Philosophy): pp. 189-223, specifically p. 198. The other two English translation are of the third edition (1821), in which the text of the paragraph differs considerably from the first edition. For the corresponding passages, see:
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person I'm (or you're, or he's, or she's) with:
1. An individual whose company one is keeping for the time being.
2. The individual or an individual with whom one is in a love relationship.
See also involved with, lover.
person of opposite sex sharing living quarters:
See POSSLQ.
perverse:
Characterized by perversion (q.v.).
Quotation from Aldous Huxley Illustrating "Perverse" |
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[Mr. Scogan] "... The only century in which customs were not characterized by the same cheerful openness was the nineteenth, of blessed memory. It was the astonishing exception. And yet, with what one must suppose was a deliberate disregard of history, it looked upon its horribly pregnant silences as normal and natural and right; the frankness of the previous fifteen or twenty thousand | years was considered abnormal and perverse. It was a curious phenomenon." |
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From the novel: Crome Yellow, [by] Aldous Huxley (New York: Harper & Row, 1974; in publisher' series: Perennial Library; P 336): chapter 15, pp. 72-73. Originally published: London: Chatto & Windus, 1921; in the United States: Garden City, N.Y.: Doubleday, Page, 1922. |
perversion:
1. A tendency towards or habitual preference for a sexual practice, sexual connection, or relationship style that does not meet someone's standard of acceptability or normality; or else:
2. Such a practice, connection, or relationship style itself; a deviation of sexual expression from what is considered by the speaker or someone the speaker is representing to be right or acceptable or normal.
3. Use of sexual activity as a means of violence.
4. A turning away from what is appropriate to a being, especially with regard to that being's sexuality and sexual relationships.
Comment: In the first two senses, this term is so heavily loaded that in much usage the content is null except to express or to indicate a prejudice or an insult. When neutral expression is sought, use instead something like "unusual sexual practice," or else specify.
See also active-passive split, degrading sex, illicit love, illicit relationship, inappropriate relationship, irregular connection, peccadillo, perverse, polymorphous perversity, porneia, sexual degradation, sexual immorality, sexual mores, sexual taboo, traditional morality, unnatural, unwelcome admixtures with sexuality.
Quotation from Ruth Dickson Illustrating "Perversion"
Monogamy is a true perversion of the human spirit ...
From: Married Men Make the Best Lovers, by Ruth Dickson (Los Angeles, Calif: Sherbourne Press, c1967): p. 133.
petite maison (French):
"Small house": a building maintained, in addition to a residence, to serve as a trysting place for lovers, ordinarily one of the lovers being an owner of the property.
See also honeymoon cottage, love-nest, temple of love, tryst.
Quotation from P. W. K. Stone Illustrating "Petites Maisons" |
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Fashionable society in the eighteenth century kept its clandestine rendezvous on its own property, in suburban villas known as petites maisons, which were maintained specially for the purpose. |
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From: Les Liaisons dangereuses, [by] Choderlos de Laclos; translated and with an introduction by P. W. K. Stone (Baltimore, Md.: Penguin Books, 1961; in: The Penguin Classics; L116): p. 41, translator's note 1. |
pet name:
An affectionate appelation that is used for a beloved or other loved one and that is different from the real name.
See also re-naming, term of endearment.
petticoat despotism:
Domination by a woman, especially over her husband.
For a lexical example illustrating " Despotism of the Peticoat," see under "master."
See also petticoat government, under petticoat government, uxorodespotism.
petticoat government:
Rule by a woman, especially over her husband.
See also petticoat despotism, under petticoat government.