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Several years ago
there was a popular song that spoke of a man who had a T-shirt with Bible
verses on it, a bracelet with the letters WWJD, Bible magnets on his
refrigerator, a welcome mat to bless people when they entered his home;
he had Christian necklaces and key chains, a Jesus bumper sticker and the
outline of a fish stuck on his car. He said that all these things
were well and good, but then he asked this question: what about the
change? What about the
difference? He asked himself whether he was living a life that
showed he'd undergone “The Change”.
That's a valid question for anyone to ask - have I gone through The
Change? All true believers
should be experiencing a miraculous change - a change that God initiates
in their lives. If we don't sense any difference in the order and
priorities of our lives, then we ought to ask the same question --
"What about the change?"
God has something to say about this. He tells us always to be ready
to tell another about the hope that is in us. In 1Peter 3:15 God
says, "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always
to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that
is in you with meekness and fear.”
I must consider myself lucky because I can't remember a time when God
wasn't at least a small part of my life. My parents sent me to Sunday school every week without
fail. I attended regularly until I graduated from High School, collecting
a dozen-year's worth of attendance pins. At the time everything
seemed on track - I didn't know it then that one of the things I
needed was a relationship with the Lord.
After I went off to college, I only went to church when home on
breaks. I attended Villanova University and took many Religious
Studies classes along with my Engineering courses. I actually
acquired enough of an academic background in theology to nearly qualify
for a minor in Religious Studies.
But despite all the theological and religious book knowledge
gained during those years, a relationship was still lacking. I found an interesting reformed
Christian radio station while in college - and I listened occasionally.
What I heard was thought provoking - but it was at odds with much of what
I'd heard and learned through all my years of Sunday School, church
attendance and academic classes. At the time – in the early 80s – I
didn't know what it was about this radio station that made it so
different…but it was!
Fast-forward a few years. After college I got a good job -- much to
the relief of my parents. I didn't lie, cheat, steal, smoke, or
drink. I was a decent, moral person - or, at least I thought I so. Something was missing from my life
-- and intellectually I think I knew that what was missing was a
relationship with Christ. I watched all the Billy Graham Crusades
on TV; even went to one in Washington. Without fail, I'd always
pray that "Sinner's Prayer" -- and I genuinely meant it every
time! And then, without
fail, a day or maybe a week later I'd be right back engaged in my old
lifestyle.
What about that change? There really wasn't any difference in my
life. I'd be more frustrated than ever that I couldn't sustain this
new desire for the Lord. At
about this time I “accidentally” stumbled on a Maryland-based reformed
radio station. I still hadn't quite figured out what it was about
these reformed stations that set them apart. But, throughout all of
this, there still was no real relationship with the Lord.
I met a wonderful girl, and she said yes, and we were married.
Three years later we were blessed with a beautiful daughter. All
around me, my life was changing - I now had a family to care for and that
cared for me. But within, I still hadn't undergone any real change.
Eleven years ago when we moved to Carroll County we began attending a
Methodist church. We also began regularly listening to that
reformed station, as our reception was much better. Then one day it
finally dawned on me what set this station apart: everything they tried
to say and do was structured around what the BIBLE said. What a
concept! So, I began to
really read the Bible to see what “IT” had to say - not what this denomination
or that denomination said, or what this TV preacher or that radio station
said.
It's sad to say but it took me over 30 years before I finally decided to
see what the Bible was saying - and I think this is when the change began
to occur. I knew what the
Methodist denomination said; I knew what the majority of TV Evangelists
said. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was listening more to
what man said than to what God said.
I thought I knew what God was saying through the Bible, but I'd never
taken the time or made the effort to read it closely enough to find
out. Very slowly I began to realize that all these years - in
church, in Sunday school, in my college religious studies classes -- I
hadn't been hearing or understanding the entire message of the
Bible. The portion of the
gospel usually presented in most churches - and the only portion I heard
in all my years as a Methodist -- was about God's love. Growing up and in church I never
heard an honest, biblically based account of why I needed a Savior. As I read and listened more to
the Bible, a clearer picture came into focus for me of the Bible's Gospel
-- not the gospel of a specific denomination, pastor, or radio station -
but the Bible's gospel.
I can only speak for myself, but I came to understand that all those
years I was trying to change myself; I was trying to save myself.
Now, believe me, I didn't think so at the time! I was absolutely
convinced I'd been doing things God's way. But if God truly is the
author and finisher of our faith (as Scripture says), then what can I
contribute? God is the One who must circumcise my heart. He's the
One who makes me a new creation. He's the One who causes me to
undergo the Change of rebirth.
What can I contribute toward this new birth if it's truly one from
above? The salvation I had
been seeking all through my adolescence, teen years, young adulthood and
even into middle age was 99% grace, but I still had to do something
myself. God's work wasn't quite enough; I had to do
something. I had to say a certain prayer or make a certain vow
before I could then put myself into a position in order for God to save
me. No wonder I'd failed so miserably so many times!
When I realized I wasn't being faithful to what the Scriptures say, I was
absolutely stunned. All these years, I'd considered myself
reasonably well educated -- almost had a minor in religious studies for
crying out loud. I went to church - but still I didn't get
it! I was trying to bring about on my own the change that only God
can bring about. So I began
to check out in the Scriptures what I was hearing from other reformed
sources. I fully expected to prove them wrong - that my lifelong
understanding of salvation that I had grown so accustomed to and
comfortable with was correct. But as I delved more and more into
what the Bible said, more and more I found I had been 100% wrong!
The Holy Spirit began to open my eyes as I read the Scriptures.
Suddenly I had a desire for them I'd never had before. I saw the
gospel message of salvation through Christ alone revealed everywhere -
not just in the gospels and New Testament. But even in the Old Testament stories about the Flood,
Joseph in Egypt, Joshua and Jericho, and even in the story of Jonah and
the fish.
For the first time in my life a relationship with the Lord began to
develop.
I know I'm a dirty rotten sinner. I deserve an eternity in Hell for
all my sins. What is even more frightening is that I like sin; my body
still lusts after sin. There's only one thing I've earned from God: His
judgment for my sins.
"For the wages of sin is death" and the death God has in
view is spiritual -- separation from God. That’s what the Bible
teaches.
My problem was I thought I needed a certain amount of personal desire and
willpower before I could become saved; that I had to meet some
preconditions in terms of my own will before God could or would effect
this change in me. It's only
by the grace of God that I now know this spiritual truth: that whatever
meager desires I may have to know the Lord or to even try to do His will
is a byproduct or a consequence of my salvation. It isn't the cause
for it - it's the result of it. My free will didn't bring about
“The Change”. In fact, just
the opposite is true: my awakening realization of a sincere desire to do
the will of God is sure evidence that I've undergone the Change.
By God's grace and mercy, today my core set of beliefs is structured
around the Bible - alone and in its entirety. Period.
Everything I hear and read must be weighed against what God says in His
Word. That's why I had no
choice but to extricate myself from the denomination I had been a part of
for nearly 40 years - and I thank God that He directed my family and me
to Liberty Reformed Presbyterian Church in Owings Mills, MD and
enabled us to come under the preaching of Larry Yeager and now Russ
Sukhia.
Praise God for the Change that only He can bring about – and for faithful
teachers like Russ Sukhia!
-- A Sinner
saved by His grace alone
(Jeff Watkins)
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