"GOLF THANG" POET'S CORNER 

This section of our Thang Web Site is called the Poet's Corner. The first contribution is by that very sensitive and artful THANG Brother .... Mr. Mike Kennedy. A few years ago, Mike had some surgery which kept him in the house and away from the course for a very long while .... thus providing him with way too much time on his hands !!! So ... here is our first (of hopefully many) sweet poems by Mike.

OLDE TO THE THANG

T'was the night before the Thang,
  And all through the houses,
Not a creature was stirring,
  Only the PC mouses.

All was quiet,
  There was no racket,
Everyone had one thing in mind,
  Win that awful blue jacket.

Maurer was grinning,
  He was even calm,
We're not playing off his ball,
  We're playing off Tom's.

At the last one it rained,
  Our clothes they did soil,
But all was forgotten,
  After eating Bill's Low Country Boil.

On McClain, on Carter, and Freddy too.
  To shoot at the greens, on Mill Creeks lawn,
Only to sputter and fold,
  Like their hometown Enron. 

Kennedy almost finished last,
  He could never get focused,
But he finished next to last,
  Thank you.......Mr. Toekles. 

We told stories and jokes,
  Some were even lewd,
For a really good laugh,
  Check Wiernas in the nude.

Was it too much food and drink,
  That made us want to hurl,
Or maybe the smoke from the cigar,
  Sucked on by ole Frank Curl?

Schnelly took the championship to Florida,
  But we were not mad,
Think maybe his handicap service,
  May have had a hanging chad.

Two More Contributions Sent By Mike

From The English Writer "P.G. Wodehouse"

"Few things draw men together more surely than their mutual inability to master Golf".

"The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies is the man who will serve you faithfully and well".

Contributions From Bill After A Couple of Cold Ones & A Few Hours Surfing The Net

Now, here's Jack Lemmon, about to play an all-important eighth shot. –Jim McKay

My best golf Score is 103, but I've only been playing for 15 years. -Alex Karras

We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed their whiskey.  Not because it's Scottish, but because it's good. -Horace G. Hutchinson

Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a one-iron, and squinty eyes. -Dave Marr

Indeed, The highest pleasure of golf may be that on the fairways and far from all the pressures of commerce and rationality, we can feel immortal for a few hours. -Colman McCarthy

Nothing dissects a man in public quite like golf. -Brent Musberger

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
--Jimmy Demaret

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
--Jack Lemmon

Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. --Will Rogers

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf. -- Anonymous

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THE ACE

The temperature that Saturday in July was already in the low 90’s as four Thang Brothers (Mike K, Jim, Wayne & Bill) made their 10:40 tee time & launched off #1 at Bear Creek West. For the first nine holes, it was a typical game …. Catching up on gossip, various people were referred to as pricks, and a small bet was going with little blood being drawn.

The turn was made and although the quality of play was improving slightly, you could still win a hole (or at least tie) with a bogey. As the group approached the Par 3 fourteenth hole the North Texas sun beat down on them without mercy.

Having won the previous hole with a bogey 5, Bill took the box first with his Ping Eye Three 6 iron and a Spalding Top-Flite that he had found in the woods a few holes back. The hot air had a sweet but pungent smell as burned jet fuel (from DFW airport) mixed with the odor of Jim’s urine (he was pissing behind a tree). As Bill lined up for the 161 yard shot, all he could think of was …. Hit it straight and get on the dance floor.

The Top-Flite came off the six iron low and hot (also known as “hitting it thin”) never rising more than 3 feet before striking the baked fairway just in front of a sand trap which guarded the front of the elevated green. The Top-Flite bounded over the trap and landed on the bottom half of the two tiered green. With considerable velocity, the ball started a track towards the back of the green. Up the rise to the higher back tier, it was on a collision course with the pin. Suddenly a loud “Clank” was heard and the ball disappeared.

I’ve been playing this stupid game for 42 years and that’s the first time I was able to go to the next tee box and ask … “Can anybody beat a 1”