Praying When You Have No Words

Lesson 5 - When Words Fail

• When Joy is Unspeakable
• When Sorrow Silences
• And the Lesson Is . . . ?

When Joy is Unspeakable

We struggled against the heat, the altitude, and gravity as we climbed up into Yosemite's Tioga Meadows. Meadows? All we had seen for hours was trees, tall, thick trees. After a few hours all trees look alike - boring!

"What's ahead?" Diane asked as she adjusted her pack..

"Nothing. Just another turn in the trail." I didn't try to adjust my pack, for you just can't adjust against the law of gravity.

I took that turn and stopped dead. Diane almost ran into me, then stopped and stared. The forest ended like a clear-cut and before us stretched the unbroken vista of California's Sierra Nevada mountains. Neither of us spoke - mere words could not do justice to this scene. There were no words.

Have you ever been there? Ever been in a place, a time, a situation where you cannot speak for the joy that overwhelms you? A friend of mine watched his wife leave - for good. She was leaving him and their family to go back home and start again. About a year later his doorbell rang. Opening the door he found his wife standing there. "I'm back." was all she could say.

"I couldn't say anything!" he told me later. " I just burst into tears and threw my arms around her."

There were no words.

Hey, I know - it's Romans 8:26-28!

That's part of it. We can be sure that when we want to rejoice and praise him he is aware of our desires and "fills in the blanks." But I was thinking of the Hallmark kind of prayers.

Hallmark? You mean send God a card?

In a way, yes. Most days I get to ride home from work with Diane. Some days, though, she'll warn me that she has a few errands to run on the way home. The problem isn't in "few." When she says "few," that's what she means. The problem is in the nature of the errands.

"I have to pick up a few birthday cards."

Either I take a book or take a bus.

No, it's not that bad! But she does read through a lot of cards to find "just the right one." She's looking for special words from an unknown writer to speak her thoughts. By the way, this isn't too bad. When I get an especially moving card from her, I know she means it and didn't pick it out by accident.

Praying the Hallmark Way

This is what I mean by a Hallmark praise to God. Find special words from a usually unknown writer to speak your thoughts. And you can do it in your own home and, maybe, in your own heart.

The "special words" I'm thinking of come mainly from the Psalms. This anthology of Hebrew poetry is full of Hallmark cards we can read through until we find just the right one. I know it sounds artificial, but Psalm 19 went through my mind when we stood dumbstruck by that mountain vista. That's a psalm praising God for the beauty of creation, in case you don't have a Bible handy.

Several of our friends just returned from a tour of Eastern Europe where they visited numerous old cathedrals. "When you walk in, you simply have to sit in awe and reverence." she said. I've been there, and so has the writer of Psalm 100 and Psalm 84 and . . .! Praising God the Hallmark way.

This may strike you as artificial, using someone else's words as your prayer. If it does, consider this - that's why these poems are in the Bible. They are model prayers of praise, of petition, of confession, of every possible human emotion.

Don't read them as a piece of beef jerky - dry, stiff, and unchewable. These are living things, prayers of living people offered to the same living God we worship and serve. Let them live for you as well.

Some years ago I had the joy of working with a vibrant Christian lady. She's the kind who has to raise her hands in praise or else she'd explode! That's just her. I can't do that - not because it's wrong, but it's not part of my culture. She and I talked about that over lunch one day.

"OK," she said, "here's what you do. The next time you're home alone, open Psalm 100 and read it aloud . . . WITH FEELING! After the third time through it, raise your hand to him in praise."

The Psalms are for our benefit. Use their words when you don't have any of your own.

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When Sorrow Silences

"We're going into church - stop whining and smile!"

"Hello, everyone. Welcome to First Church! It's good to see so many smiling faces this morning. Please join us in our opening song - 'What Joy Fills My Soul'!"

Sound familiar? I've heard these refrains far more than I can remember at my age. Somehow "church" was supposed to be all smiles and happiness. Forget about the disappointments of the week, the failures on the job, the loss of a job, the death of your loved one, the diagnosis of cancer. Forget about these things and smile!

If we do force a smile, we're one more hypocrite that the church is full of. If we don't smile, we're one more "sinner" that the church is full of.

You've been there, haven't you? You've walked into that dark, cold, empty house, bereft of friends and family. You stood there, still angry over the last thing the clergyman did - have the crowd say the 23rd Psalm. "The Lord is my shepherd . . . ." That's NOT how you feel!

Actually, you're just one psalm away from your true feelings. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" There, that's what you really want to cry out. So do it, and you'll be crying the same words David wrote in Psalm 22.

Not "Will you forsake me?" or "Don't forsake me." No, in heart-wrenching agony he cries out "What HAVE you forsaken me?"

Wait a minute - isn't that what Jesus said on the cross? Yes - and David said it 1000 years before Jesus. You can say it now, 2000 years after Jesus. Go ahead, if those words fit, say, shout, shriek them!

Other psalms talk of the writer's anguish, like Psalm 77. Many others describe God's deliverance. But if you're delivered, you have to need deliverance! OK - maybe you haven't found your deliverance yet. Maybe all you can do is be remotely glad that at least someone did. That's enough.

Maybe you're in Psalm 88 - no deliverance here! The writer ends with "Darkness is my closest friend." That's down - really down! And it's in the Bible.

Thanks, Joe!

Joe Durst was a character and a half! A retired AT&T man and an avid Macintosh user, he brought spark and sparkle to the Salem Macintosh Users Group. When he took off on a topic, as he often did, I'd sometimes wish he'd never started. Other times I wished he'd never quit! I always seened to learn something, though, whatever my feelings.

Joe died, and even at his funeral he taught me something. Joe was a devout, life-long Lutheran, and St. Mark's church was packed. I looked around and saw many people I knew, people from different traditons - Baptists, Jews, and non-believers. Joe had touched many lives. But how can so many from so many traditions say Good-bye?

Not to worry! The pastor stood and invited us to turn to a page in a book and we began reading through a formalized funeral ceremony. I had always looked askance at formalized worship of any variety. I looked around again, and the voices of my friends combined into one as we praised the life that had passed - through the words of someone else. Again Joe taught me. It's all right to use other's words to praise and pray.

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And the lesson is . . . ?

Wow - this has been a tough one. I guess we've all lived long enough to know those times when there are no words. They are seldom happy times. Usually its sorrow and grief that silence us.

And that's OK.

That's the first thing I've learned. God is not offended if we cannot speak. We don't have to always talk, to always have the right turn of phrase. We can be overwhelmed, silenced by life, and he's not bothered.

The second thing I've learned is that God is not offended if we use the words of others when ours fail. In fact, he gave us an entire collection of prayers to use. Psalms, we call them, and they are in the Bible for our use. The Psalms are, if you will, formalized worship for our benefit.

Remember Joe Durst? When we don't know what to say, we can read. We can let David's words be ours.

After all, this is what Jesus did on the cross - He spoke from the Psalms!

Just two things - but two very important things. Don't feel guilty when you have no words. When you have no words of your own, use those God has provided. He understands. It's OK.

That's what I've learned . . .

Now, what have you learned?

Lesson 6