All the Wrong Places - Part 4 To: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce From: TTZRCLBDXRQBGJSNBOH Hi Wesley: > > > I completely understand the need to separate oneself from the past. > > Angel said you used to be a Watcher? > Yes, that's true. I was Buffy's Watcher for a brief time in Sunnydale, just before Angel came to L.A. So you've been a teacher too. > > He's good at brooding and hiding. It seems like he’s gotten even better since last I saw him. > That's probably true as well. There was a time when I would have said differently, but now... There was a time when he didn't care enough to try and hide that he was brooding; now he's got people he doesn't want worrying about him (or lecturing him, just as like) so he hides it. > > I don't know you very well yet, but I've gotta tell ya, that's not a good thing for anybody to do. > Possibly not. It's unfortunate, in that case, that sometimes there don't seem to be a lot of other options. Yeah, I can get that. Been times in my life where I was all about avoiding people and drinking myself into a daily stupor. I recommend finding a different way to get out of that sorta funk than I was subjected to. > > > I've done a bit of investigating and haven't come up with anything yet, but I will. > > I know you will. :-) > I think I've narrowed it down some. The difficulty is that there isn't a "mainframe" computer here. It's possible that you're "in" the computer closest to where the spell was done, but I'm not entirely certain which one that is, and the letters still aren't providing any meaningful direction. Don't know if it'll help but I didn't have to "stretch" too far to reach the security feeds. > > Thanks. I'm being careful. But this... it's pretty fascinating once you start stretching out. > I really can't even begin to imagine. It *does* sound like a fascinating experience. Think maybe someone would want to make it into a movie or something? Tron II -- the real story? Nah, probably not. > > > We had a falling out. It would be extremely complicated and lengthy to explain. > > A falling out that's still having fallout? Something you can't put behind you? > Yes. He can't forgive me, and I can't totally blame him for that. Do you know he can't forgive you? Or are you just assuming based on amount of broodage? > > He probably wasn't serious, but I'm sure he hoped I would tell him to have at it anyway. > That could be true. It's all right, there's a fully equipped gym here in the building, he can redirect his impulsiveness and frustration there. If you could find some forces of evil he could pound on for a bit, I'm sure that would help a lot. > > > On the other hand, as you say, he does tend toward rash behaviour at times. > > Ya noticed that too, huh? > It would be hard to miss. Part of his charm. > > Or, y'know, dying of old age asleep in bed. I think I'll see if I can try that next time. > We'll do our best to make sure you have the opportunity. Thanks :-) > What *is* the life span of a half-Brachen? I'm assuming it's about the same as a full human. From what I've read, a full Brachen demons' life span is similar to a human's. Not like I've met any other half-Brachens I could ask. > > > > You've seemed to have had a rough time of it blown up, shot by zombies... > > > You've no idea. > > Tell me? > I had my throat cut about a year and a half ago. That was no picnic, I'll tell you. Geez, born under a wounded star were you? > But I'm fine now. Good. > The thought of you teaching schoolchildren is a bit disturbing. I don't mean that in a negative way exactly, just... you don't seem the type. I'm sure you were very good at it. It was a different lifetime. Pre demon. Though... there was a certain similarity in dealing with a bunch of 8 year olds and dealing with a certain souled vampire. > > Living is a good starting point for pretty much anything. > Except a career as a vampire, perhaps. There is that. Though you have to be living to be turned into a vampire so... > > > > Well, he's given up more than you know for Buffy. > > > I sense a story there. > > Yes. I... Let me check with Angel if he minds if I share. > Fair enough. He said it was fine so... Back when I was alive, I had a vision about Buffy in trouble; this was around American Thanksgiving. Angel went to Sunnydale to make sure she was safe and helped but stayed in the shadows. Buffy found out about it regardless and came to LA to tell him off about it. What I remember is she came, they yelled at each other for a bit, a Mohra demon dove through the window, and Angel killed it, and Buffy left. But apparently that was only take two. Take one, the demon got away and Buffy and Angel hunted it down in the sewers. Angel killed it, but got some of its blood mixed with his. It turned him human. He and Buffy... well, Angel never went into details, but I've got a very active and creative imagination. Suffice to say they got together. So pretty he'd just be handed everything he ever wanted, right? But Angel, when he realised he couldn't fight, he decided he couldn't keep it. He went to the Oracles and had them turn back the clock one day. And the man wonders why I wouldn't let him sacrifice himself with the Beacon. He's a genuine bonifide hero, that one. > > Let's get her awake and then we'll see. I don't want to count my dates before they're hatched. Or something like that. She may have moved on to... other, better, pastures. > She hasn't been in a position to explore any pastures for some time, unfortunately. Not even Angel? > > > > I think I would've preferred leaving her with a puppy named Doyle or something. > > > I don't think she's very fond of dogs. > > Stuffed dog then. Or stuffed... do they make stuffed Brachens? > I think not. At least, I've never seen one. Shame, that. Maybe, when I get back, I'll have to see about having one custom made for her. Who knows? Maybe they'll be the next cabbage patch craze. > You haven't seen me at my best. Get myself around a single malt whiskey or five and I could talk all night about anything. > > > Perhaps we can do that some night, once you're out of there. I wouldn't mind listening to you talk. > > It's the Irish brogue, gets them every time. ;) But seriously, I'd like that. A lot, I think. > I know some good places for quiet drinking. Er, not too quiet, you understand. But where one could have a conversation easily enough, if that were something one wanted to do while drinking. Sounds like a plan. As soon as I'm out of here you and me and a night of quiet drinking. > > Then again technically I *am* nothing now so... take that as you will. > Don't say things like that, even in jest. You're alive, you're here. You're just a bit separate at the moment, for a brief period of time. You're very vehement about this, aren't you? > > > And his actions are generally more than sufficient to get his point across. > > Yeah. Not much subtlety about Angel. > No, that's quite true. I mean, the hair alone... > > > I went behind his back to in an attempt to protect him, he ended up feeling betrayed. > > And he can't let that go? Or you can't? > A bit of both, I think. He can't see my point of view, and I can see his all too well. That's rough. > > Well, telepathic mail maybe; I don't hear voices, just see the words. > When you first became aware it must have seemed like some bizarre sort of dream. Yeah. The only thing missing was someone playing the twilight zone theme in the background. > > I... moving isn't so much like walking in here as it is stretching out for impossibly long distances. I think I found the security systems -- suddenly was seeing a lobby with people coming and going. I'm going to explore some more. > Interesting. And you could actually SEE them? Yeah. Again, more like the pictures popping into my head than sitting down and looking at a screen. But I can see what looks like security camera feeds. This is a big place, isn't it? > > > Is there anyone you'd like me to get a message to? I could go and tell Cordelia that you're here? There's no reason to believe that she hears us, and considering the mystical origin of her coma there's also no reason to think that she's actually in there, but... I could. > > I... I'd like that a lot. She could be there, could be able to hear. If she could.. well, it would be nice if she knew I was back. And thinking of her. > I went and sat with her for a bit, told her what's going on. Thank you. > I like to think that she heard me. People in comas are supposed to be aware of their surroundings to some extent so... > That's probably a sentimental fool's hope, of course. Just call me a sentimental fool then. Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce Hello Doyle. > > > Angel said you used to be a Watcher? > > Yes, that's true. I was Buffy's Watcher for a brief time in Sunnydale, just before Angel came to L.A. > So you've been a teacher too. I suppose so. I don't know if I ever thought of it in quite that manner; more that I was to guide the Slayer. Although of course maintaining and improving her skill level was important as well. > > That's probably true as well. There was a time when I would have said differently, but now... > There was a time when he didn't care enough to try and hide that he was brooding; now he's got people he doesn't want worrying about him (or lecturing him, just as like) so he hides it. There was also a time when it almost seemed to me that he was going to get past that tendency, a time when his brooding almost seemed... behind him. Sadly, it didn't last. > > Possibly not. It's unfortunate, in that case, that sometimes there don't seem to be a lot of other options. > Yeah, I can get that. Been times in my life where I was all about avoiding people and drinking myself into a daily stupor. I recommend finding a different way to get out of that sorta funk than I was subjected to. I suppose it's more that I'm isolating myself. I lost someone that I cared for -- someone I shouldn't have let myself care for -- and it's difficult to put that behind me completely, as much as I realize that I ought to. > > I think I've narrowed it down some. The difficulty is that there isn't a "mainframe" computer here. It's possible that you're "in" the computer closest to where the spell was done, but I'm not entirely certain which one that is, and the letters still aren't providing any meaningful direction. > Don't know if it'll help but I didn't have to "stretch" too far to reach the security feeds. It's possible that might help, thank you. > > It *does* sound like a fascinating experience. > Think maybe someone would want to make it into a movie or something? Tron II the real story? Nah, probably not. Tron? And you never know, people seem to make movies about all sorts of things these days. > > > A falling out that's still having fallout? Something you can't put behind you? > > Yes. He can't forgive me, and I can't totally blame him for that. > Do you know he can't forgive you? Or are you just assuming based on amount of broodage? Actually, he said that things between us were 'okay again.' But it's not that simple. Things were said and done on both sides, and I'm not convinced they're the sorts of things people get past. > > It's all right, there's a fully equipped gym here in the building, he can redirect his impulsiveness and frustration there. > If you could find some forces of evil he could pound on for a bit, I'm sure that would help a lot. He does do some of that. It's not as though there's a shortage of evil in L.A. If he sometimes chooses to let the dispatch teams take care of situations, that's no one's choice but his own. > > It would be hard to miss. > Part of his charm. I wouldn't call rash behaviour 'charming.' > > We'll do our best to make sure you have the opportunity. > Thanks :-) > > What *is* the life span of a half-Brachen? > I'm assuming it's about the same as a full human. From what I've read, a full Brachen demon's life span is similar to a human's. Not like I've met any other half-Brachens I could ask. You're right, I'd imagine your life span's about the same as any other human's. I take it you haven't any children. Of your own. Biological ones, I mean. They'd be a quarter Brachen, if you had them with a human. Is children one of those things one isn't supposed to ask about? In person it's easier to stop myself, somehow, from asking things that might be inappropriate. In any case, stop me if I ask anything you don't care to answer. > > > Tell me? > > I had my throat cut about a year and a half ago. That was no picnic, I'll tell you. > Geez, born under a wounded star were you? Quite possibly. > > But I'm fine now. > Good. There are days when I'm not so sure. But yes. At least I'm doing something useful. > > The thought of you teaching schoolchildren is a bit disturbing. I don't mean that in a negative way exactly, just... you don't seem the type. I'm sure you were very good at it. > It was a different lifetime. Pre demon. Though... there was a certain similarity in dealing with a bunch of 8 year olds and dealing with a certain souled vampire. I can well imagine. I'd guess that their attention spans were longer, for one thing. > > > Living is a good starting point for pretty much anything. > > Except a career as a vampire, perhaps. > There is that. Though you have to be living to be turned into a vampire so... All right, you've got me there. > > > Yes. I... Let me check with Angel if he minds if I share. > > Fair enough. > He said it was fine so... Back when I was alive, I had a vision about Buffy in trouble; this was around American Thanksgiving. Angel went to Sunnydale to make sure she was safe and helped but stayed in the shadows. Buffy found out about it regardless and came to LA to tell him off about it. What I remember is she came, they yelled at each other for a bit, a Mohra demon dove through the window, and Angel killed it, and Buffy left. But apparently that was only take two. Take one, the demon got away and Buffy and Angel hunted it down in the sewers. Angel killed it, but got some of its blood mixed with his. It turned him human. He and Buffy... well, Angel never went into details, but I've got a very active and creative imagination. Suffice to say they got together. So pretty he'd just be handed everything he ever wanted, right? But Angel, when he realised he couldn't fight, he decided he couldn't keep it. He went to the Oracles and had them turn back the clock one day. And the man wonders why I wouldn't let him sacrifice himself with the Beacon. He's a genuine bonifide hero, that one. Oh. Actually, I think Cordelia mentioned something about it at some point. (No surprise that she wouldn't have waited to ask Angel's permission first, is it.) But I believe she was running off at the mouth about any number of things, and there was no pause in which to ask for more details. It's good to know. It also makes me wonder if something he's been waiting for all this time has actually come and gone already. He gave it back, after all, and the thing with prophecies is that the timing is often so imprecise... > > She hasn't been in a position to explore any pastures for some time, unfortunately. > Not even Angel? Well, she hardly could, really. Not just because of the clause, but also because we don't know for certain at what point in time she became... no longer herself. > > > Stuffed dog then. Or stuffed... do they make stuffed Brachens? > > I think not. At least, I've never seen one. > Shame, that. Maybe, when I get back, I'll have to see about having one custom made for her. Who knows? Maybe they'll be the next cabbage patch craze. I find that extremely difficult to believe. > > > It's the Irish brogue, gets them every time. ;) But seriously, I'd like that. A lot, I think. > > I know some good places for quiet drinking. Er, not too quiet, you understand. But where one could have a conversation easily enough, if that were something one wanted to do while drinking. > Sounds like a plan. As soon as I'm out of here you and me and a night of quiet drinking. Excellent. Although you may want a few nights to relax and adjust first, of course. Immediately throwing yourself into a bottle might not be the best idea. > > > Then again technically I *am* nothing now so... take that as you will. > > Don't say things like that, even in jest. You're alive, you're here. You're just a bit separate at the moment, for a brief period of time. > You're very vehement about this, aren't you? I really am, yes. > > > Yeah. Not much subtlety about Angel. > > No, that's quite true. > I mean, the hair alone... There now, you almost made me spit my tea into the keyboard, and surely that wouldn't be a good thing. It doesn't seem that being dead for more than three years has harmed your sense of humor. > > > And he can't let that go? Or you can't? > > A bit of both, I think. He can't see my point of view, and I can see his all too well. > That's rough. That's one word for it, yes. And I don't blame him. Well, that's not completely true. Part of me *does* blame him, and then feels guilty for doing so. It's quite a miserable cycle actually. > > > Well, telepathic mail maybe; I don't hear voices, just see the words. > > When you first became aware it must have seemed like some bizarre sort of dream. > Yeah. The only thing missing was someone playing the twilight zone theme in the background. I'm sure that would have made it even more disturbing. > > Interesting. And you could actually SEE them? > Yeah. Again, more like the pictures popping into my head than sitting down and looking at a screen. But I can see what looks like security camera feeds. This is a big place, isn't it? It is, yes. Very. Tell me what you saw. > > I went and sat with her for a bit, told her what's going on. > Thank you. You're welcome. It wasn't any trouble. I generally visit her twice a week or so, at a minimum. > > I like to think that she heard me. > People in comas are supposed to be aware of their surroundings to some extent so... Yes, one has to assume it's possible. > > That's probably a sentimental fool's hope, of course. > Just call me a sentimental fool then. I suppose you may as well add me to that list then, much as I hate to admit it. Lorne says he may have come up with something, but he's not sure. They need a few more days to research it. If he's right, and they've found a useful spell, it might not be much longer. - Wesley __________ To: Angel From: TTZRCLBDXRQBGJSNBOH Hi Angel :-) > > > I'm not going to make one of those, and you can't make me. > > Aw, come on. Just one little grin? It only takes three keys; two if you don't give yourself a nose. You can even do one with fangs: :-[ > I said no. Nope, not even one. Not even a little one? > > Granted, not as much of a smile, but fangs. Not sure how you'd do your hair though. > Hey! Should I be offended? Offended by your hair? I dunno, that would be between you and your hair, wouldn't it? > > > Grinning anyway, though. > > Glad to hear that. :-) > Yeah. It feels really weird, but not bad. Working a whole set of muscles that you probably don't use much. > > > Can you tell that time's passing? > > Some, but it's not like I'm sitting and checking my watch every five minutes. > I don't even have a watch. I'll make note for Christmas time. ;-) > Oh. Guess you don't either. Or a wrist to put it on. > I'd promise not to look at a clock you know, as a show of solidarity but then I'd miss some vital meeting and everything would fall apart. Not really, but that's the idea you get. Every piece is an important part in the machinery, blah blah blah. I guess I'm taking the 'important part in the machinery' thing a bit literally here, huh? > And Fred gets to play around up there figuring out how to make a microwave run on M&Ms or something. Again, not really, although every time I see her she's got a pack of those things in her hand. It might be a taco replacement, come to think of it. She could just like chocolate, y'know. > Oh. Sorry if I keep making references to stuff you don't know about, I just kind of forget. When we first brought Fred back from Pylea, she had a taco thing going on. What exactly is a taco thing? > > Does he have a karaoke bar? Cause he sounds like the Host of this place I went to a few times called Caritas. > Hey! Yeah, that's him. What'd'ya know. Small world. So did he make you sing? > > You can read people; you just keep getting out of practice what with all the brooding and hiding in the dark. Or the beauracracy, which seems to be the thing these days. > Tell me about it. You might want to see what you could do about stepping out from behind the beauracracy a bit. > > That's going to be a lot, Angel. I've years of not talking to make up for. > Hey, I probably do too. More than you. Well I can listen as well as talk if you feel like doing some of that making up. > > You can talk to me, you know that right? About anything. > Yeah, I know. Thanks. Anytime. I may not have ears right now but I can still listen. > > Funny that. They have nights where it's warm and tropical too. > Yeah, but you don't want to be stuck keeping me company, sitting on the beach at night. You want to sit in the sun, soak up some rays, check out all the hot girls in bikinis. The hot girls in bikinis would probably just get me in trouble, or ignore me entirely. And all that hot sun wouldn't be good for my delicate Irish complection. So the nights on the beach might be a good thing. Besides, you sound like you could use a vacation too. > > Yeah. But sounds to me like you're not having much luck with that. The not thinking about it I mean. > I guess not. So we'll think about it. And talk about it. Maybe it'll help. Can't hurt, can it? > > > Um, not necessarily. Turns out she was under some major influence for a while there. No way to know what of it was her and what of it was... other stuff. Plus even if that HAD been her, I don't know if she would have... > > She would have. I mean, it's *you*, Angel. Of course she would have. > No guarantees. There's never any guarantees. But there's probabilities, and it's far more probable than not that Cordelia would've. I know if it had been me, I would've in a heartbeat. Y'know, if you'd ever had feelings for me. Which you wouldn't because I'm not a gorgeous woman with spirit. But for the sake of the argument... > > I think that would be up to her. And don't sell yourself short. Pretty much any woman faced with you and me is going to choose you. > Um... Doyle? You do remember that you're ALIVE, right? Even inside the computer you're more alive than I'll ever be. People want, you know, other people who actually breathe and eat food and stuff. Not vampires. Actually I'm a disembodied consciousness inside a formerly evil lawfirm's computer right now. So I think you're one up on me, what with having a body and all. And even if I wasn't, you're underestimating yourself. Who cares about breathing and eating food? What's really important is who you are, not what you are. And who you are is someone anyone would be crazy not to choose. > I was probably just trying to fool myself the whole time. Or, here's a radical thought, maybe you were reacting to real genuine feelings. On both sides. > > Yeah, sounds like you need to burn off some nerves. Isn't there anything you could assign yourself that involves hitting things that aren't the computers around here? > Oh, I do. Hit things and stuff, I mean. Just not as much as I used to. Trained teams are more efficient, better equipped to handle demon fighting, fill in the next line with your own corporation catch phrase. Yeah, but not as much fun. You should give yourself some of those assignments, keep your hand in. Find something evil and annoying to work your frustrations out on. Or at least go down to that fully equipped gym Wesley tells me you have and beat on a punching bag for a while. > > > Not that we aren't doing a lot more good from here, don't get me wrong. > > I know you are you're you. You're going to do as much good as you can wherever you are. > I do what I can. Too bad it never feels like enough, you know? Yeah, I do. It's easier to remember the face of the person you didn't save than of all the ones you did. > > > Oh sorry. Didn't know you were so easily frightened off. > > Nope, you don't get rid of me that easily. > Good. :-) > > You've had a busy couple of years haven't you? > You have no idea. Unless Wes... nope. You have no idea. I'm starting to get a vague idea from what you wrote below. Bet you're wishing yourself back to those alleys in New York sometimes, huh? > > Sun proof cars? What cars with no glass? > Nope, necro-tempered. Glass, I mean. Vampire dust-proof. Got it in the office building too -- means people can have their shades open and I can walk around without showering everyone with vampire confetti. It's a good deal. Cars are in an underground lot. I can go places without worrying about the whole sun thing, if I want to. So this means you can stand in the sun in your office? Wow. Bet that's something. You deserve a bit of sun; I know why you destroyed the Gem of Amara and respect your reasons, but I still say you deserved what it gave you. I wish you could've had more than the one sunset. Guess now you can. Even if it's through glass. > > > Oh is that what they're calling it these days? > > What would you call it? > Nah, I guess incorrigible works pretty well. My picture's under the word's entry in the dictionary. ;-) > > > I'm saving up my yelling at you about the Beacon thing until you're back in the flesh and I can get my hands on you. > > What, because I sacrificed myself before you could sacrifice yourself? You do remember that you were about to do what I did before I stopped you,right? So yelling at me for doing it is going to be kind of hypocritical, don't you think? > Don't care, I'm gonna do it anyway. It was my job, not yours. Life or death situation, vampire takes the line of fire. Just the way it is. Because your life (or unlife, if you prefer) is worth less than mine? Sorry, don't buy that. > > I apologise for hitting you though. > Sucker punch. Hey, I'm not stupid. Anything else and you would've cleaned the floor with me. > > > Right. Don't touch the computers. > > Well, aside from talking to me. Then you can touch them. Just not hit them. > Right. Don't hit the computers. Good man. > > > Wes just called me and told me the same thing. You two working in stereo, that's something. > > Just covering the bases. :) Wesley seems to be an okay guy. > Yeah, he is. There's some stuff going on with him I think. I don't know him much yet, but I'm getting a vibe off of him. > > > Fuck you. (grinning) > > :-p < me sticking my tongue out > Okay, you win, because I am NEVER going to make those little faces. Come on. Just one little face. > > > I'll... give me a little time to think about this, okay? I want to tell you, I just need to think it over and make sure it's the right thing to do, because there are a lot of people involved. > > All right. I can wait. Not like I have someplace urgent to be or anything. > Yeah. I mean, thanks. Anytime. You know that. > > Of course. You can trust me, Angel. You know that. > Oh, I know if you say you will, you will. It's not that I don't trust you. More that it's kind of big, and I don't want you feeling bad about it later. If telling me is going to help you, I can deal with whatever fallout sharing the secret brings. > When I agreed to take over W&H, it was on a couple of conditions, and one of them was that everyone who knew about Connor would have him sort of... magically wiped from their minds. To protect him, you know? Connor's my son. I had a son. With Darla. If I had a mouth at the moment, it would be hanging open. Though not sure if that would be more for you having a son or doing what you would need to do to get a son with Darla. But wow. > I know, wild, huh? But he's gone now, doesn't remember me anymore. Has a whole new normal family and stuff. It's better this way. So it's giving up being human all over again, giving back what you want the most. Tell me about him? > But Wesley doesn't remember, has a whole bunch of false memories in his head about that time. Also, supposedly, an inclination not to want to talk about them. I think it's some kind of failsafe, make it less likely for people to be able to look at those memories and examine them too closely. That would explain the incredible stubborness that he's been exhibiting about not talking about that time period. > > Speaking of... can I tell Wesley about the day that didn't happen? The one where you turned human? I won't if you don't want me to, but it's come up obliquely and... > It's okay. Tell him if you want to. Not like it matters much now. I told him in the last mail I sent. What you did, and why, that's still... I still think that's amazing. And now you've done it again. You're a hell of a role model to look up to, my friend. > > > Oh yeah, don't get me wrong. I'll take Lincoln tunnel any day over not having you around. > > That's actually carpal tunnel, you know. > Oh, right. I thought there was something wrong about that. You're really endearing sometimes. > > And... I might have found something to help with seeing your face. I'll let ya know. > Seriously? Yeah. Found the security systems and am starting to figure out how to tap into their camera feeds. Only problem is I can't tell which feed is for what place... You've got a very big lawfirm, you know that? > > Not trying to pressure you here, but it sounds like you have something you're carrying that would help to talk about. If you can't talk to me, talk to someone, okay? > I'm talking to you. Not too good at it though, I know that. You're doing fine. You know I'll poke you if I think you need it. > > > But I'm hanging in there. Get up every day, get dressed, come to work. Fight the good fight. It's just all kind of empty. > > Okay, now I *am* going to pressure you. I need you to tell me what's got you so... empty to use your word. That's not right. You shouldn't be feeling like that and I want to do whatever I can to help. Though about all I can do right now is talk and listen so... I'm listening. > The empty thing is Connor and Cordy mostly. And Connor AND Cordy. It's a really long story and I think I've done as much talking for now as I can though, so can it wait until next time? Sure, it can wait. But I'm here for you, man. Whatever you need. You know you can tell me anything. > Thanks, Doyle. I'm really glad you're back. Yeah, so am I. And not just for me. Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Angel Hi Doyle. > > > Aw, come on. Just one little grin? It only takes three keys; two if you don't give yourself a nose. You can even do one with fangs: :-[ > > I said no. Nope, not even one. > Not even a little one? Haven't you ever heard that "no means no" thing? This is peer pressure, that's what it is. The tv commercials tell me that I should ignore you. > > > Not sure how you'd do your hair though. > > Hey! Should I be offended? > Offended by your hair? I dunno, that would be between you and your hair, wouldn't it? Guess that whole thing about the funny bone is a myth, huh. If that's where your sense of humor is supposed to be, I mean. There's NOTHING wrong with my hair. Okay, be honest. Is it really funny looking? > > > > Grinning anyway, though. > > > Glad to hear that. :-) > > Yeah. It feels really weird, but not bad. > Working a whole set of muscles that you probably don't use much. Probably. Look, you'd tell me if there was something wrong with my hair, right? > > I don't even have a watch. > I'll make note for Christmas time. ;-) Ha. Very funny. > > Oh. Guess you don't either. > Or an wrist to put it on. Or a FUNNY BONE. Where is that anyway, in your elbow? > > I'd promise not to look at a clock you know, as a show of solidarity but then I'd miss some vital meeting and everything would fall apart. Not really, but that's the idea you get. Every piece is an important part in the machinery, blah blah blah. > I guess I'm taking the 'important part in the machinery' thing a bit literally here, huh? I meant the machinery of the company. Um, the machinery that the company makes up. Well not MAKES UP like imagines, but, you know. Is composed of. That kind of thing. What was I saying? Oh, yeah. You know, how everyone is important, all the way down to the lowliest cleaning person, blah blah blah. > > And Fred gets to play around up there figuring out how to make a microwave run on M&Ms or something. Again, not really, although every time I see her she's got a pack of those things in her hand. It might be a taco replacement, come to think of it. > She could just like chocolate, y'know. A little too much, if you ask me. > > Oh. Sorry if I keep making references to stuff you don't know about, I just kind of forget. When we first brought Fred back from Pylea, she had a taco thing going on. > What exactly is a taco thing? Like, you know, a THING. She had a thing for them. Like, she really liked them a lot. Like the chocolate. Haven't you ever had a thing? > > > Does he have a karaoke bar? Cause he sounds like the Host of this place I went to a few times called Caritas. > > Hey! Yeah, that's him. What'd'ya know. Small world. > So did he make you sing? Yeah. Let's not talk about it. > > > You can read people; you just keep getting out of practice what with all the brooding and hiding in the dark. Or the beauracracy, which seems to be the thing these days. > > Tell me about it. > You might want to see what you could do about stepping out from behind the beauracracy a bit. I do, sometimes. Probably not enough. Everything runs so smoothly, it kind of seems like a shame to mess it up by stepping in and doing stuff myself. > > > That's going to be a lot, Angel. I've years of not talking to make up for. > > Hey, I probably do too. More than you. > Well I can listen as well as talk if you feel like doing some of that making up. Probably done more talking to you, here, than I have in the past few months. I might wear myself out, if I'm not careful. > > > You can talk to me, you know that right? About anything. > > Yeah, I know. Thanks. > Anytime. I may not have ears right now but I can still listen. Yeah. How does that work exactly? > > Yeah, but you don't want to be stuck keeping me company, sitting on the beach at night. You want to sit in the sun, soak up some rays, check out all the hot girls in bikinis. > The hot girls in bikinis would probably just get me in trouble, or ignore me entirely. And all that hot sun wouldn't be good for my delicate Irish complection. So the nights on the beach might be a good thing. Besides, you sound like you could use a vacation too. I don't know. Seems a little bit like running away. I think I've spent enough time doing that. Time to stick around and face the music. > > > Yeah. But sounds to me like you're not having much luck with that. The not thinking about it I mean. > > I guess not. > So we'll think about it. And talk about it. Maybe it'll help. Can't hurt, can it? I'm TRYING. Jeez. Does it seem to you like I'm not talking? Sorry. I'm not mad. Just... trying to keep going, you know. I'm trying. > > > She would have. I mean, it's *you*, Angel. Of course she would have. > > No guarantees. > There's never any guarantees. But there's probabilities, and it's far more probable than not that Cordelia would've. Better not to think about it. If we can figure out some way to get her back, she's gonna be confused, upset... no way to know how much she's gonna remember. I'm putting it behind me. > I know if it had been me, I would've in a heartbeat. Y'know, if you'd ever had feelings for me. Which you wouldn't because I'm not a gorgeous woman with spirit. But for the sake of the argument... You think I didn't have feelings for you? > > Um... Doyle? You do remember that you're ALIVE, right? Even inside the computer you're more alive than I'll ever be. People want, you know, other people who actually breathe and eat food and stuff. Not vampires. > Actually I'm a disembodied consciousness inside a formerly evil lawfirm's computer right now. So I think you're one up on me, what with having a body and all. And even if I wasn't, you're underestimating yourself. Who cares about breathing and eating food? What's really important is who you are, not what you are. And who you are is someone anyone would be crazy not to choose. See, now it sounds like you're flirting with me. Cordy and anyone else, for that matter would be better off without someone like me. I mean, dead. Undead. Whatever. Vampire. Brooding. Not so good with the talking and sharing. Don't know how to do the social thing. Doesn't seem to me like the kind of thing people -- key word PEOPLE -- would want to settle for. > > I was probably just trying to fool myself the whole time. > Or, here's a radical thought, maybe you were reacting to real genuine feelings. On both sides. It doesn't matter now. > > Oh, I do. Hit things and stuff, I mean. Just not as much as I used to. Trained teams are more efficient, better equipped to handle demon fighting, fill in the next line with your own corporation catch phrase. > Yeah, but not as much fun. You should give yourself some of those assignments, keep your hand in. Find something evil and annoying to work your frustrations out on. Again, I do, sometimes. > Or at least go down to that fully equipped gym Wesley tells me you have and beat on a punching bag for a while. I do that too. More than you might want to know. > > I do what I can. Too bad it never feels like enough, you know? > Yeah, I do. It's easier to remember the face of the person you didn't save than of all the ones you did. Exactly. > > > You've had a busy couple of years haven't you? > > You have no idea. Unless Wes... nope. You have no idea. > I'm starting to get a vague idea from what you wrote below. Bet you're wishing yourself back to those alleys in New York sometimes, huh? Actually, not often. But yeah, sometimes. > > > Sun proof cars? What cars with no glass? > > Nope, necro-tempered. Glass, I mean. Vampire dust-proof. Got it in the office building too -- means people can have their shades open and I can walk around without showering everyone with vampire confetti. It's a good deal. Cars are in an underground lot. I can go places without worrying about the whole sun thing, if I want to. > So this means you can stand in the sun in your office? Wow. Bet that's something. Sure is. > You deserve a bit of sun; I know why you destroyed the Gem of Amara and respect your reasons, but I still say you deserved what it gave you. I wish you could've had more than the one sunset. Guess now you can. Even if it's through glass. Yeah, I guess I could. > > Nah, I guess incorrigible works pretty well. > My picture's under the word's entry in the dictionary. ;-) Yeah, I thought I saw it there. There's another one of you under 'smart-ass.' > > > So yelling at me for doing it is going to be kind of hypocritical, don't you think? > > Don't care, I'm gonna do it anyway. It was my job, not yours. Life or death situation, vampire takes the line of fire. Just the way it is. > Because your life (or unlife, if you prefer) is worth less than mine? Yeah. > Sorry, don't buy that. You don't have to. It's just this bit of free advice I'm offering you. > > > I apologise for hitting you though. > > Sucker punch. > Hey, I'm not stupid. Anything else and you would've cleaned the floor with me. Well, yeah. And it's okay. I mean, there are times when I wish it'd been me, but... thanks. I appreciate what you did, for me and for Cordy. > > Right. Don't hit the computers. > Good man. Nope, neither. > > > Just covering the bases. :) Wesley seems to be an okay guy. > > Yeah, he is. > There's some stuff going on with him I think. I don't know him much yet, but I'm getting a vibe off of him. What kind of a vibe? You think he's sick or something? > > > :-p < me sticking my tongue out > > Okay, you win, because I am NEVER going to make those little faces. > Come on. Just one little face. No means no. > > Oh, I know if you say you will, you will. It's not that I don't trust you. More that it's kind of big, and I don't want you feeling bad about it later. > If telling me is going to help you, I can deal with whatever fallout sharing the secret brings. I don't know if it helped, but... it's kind of good not to be the only person who knows. > > When I agreed to take over W&H, it was on a couple of conditions, and one of them was that everyone who knew about Connor would have him sort of... magically wiped from their minds. To protect him, you know? Connor's my son. I had a son. With Darla. > If I had a mouth at the moment, it would be hanging open. Though not sure if that would be more for you having a son or doing what you would need to do to get a son with Darla. But wow. Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction when she showed up 9 months pregnant. > > I know, wild, huh? But he's gone now, doesn't remember me anymore. Has a whole new normal family and stuff. It's better this way. > So it's giving up being human all over again, giving back what you want the most. Tell me about him? I... will at some point. Not now. Okay? > > But Wesley doesn't remember, has a whole bunch of false memories in his head about that time. Also, supposedly, an inclination not to want to talk about them. I think it's some kind of failsafe, make it less likely for people to be able to look at those memories and examine them too closely. > That would explain the incredible stubborness that he's been exhibiting about not talking about that time period. Huh. Good to know that it's working, I guess. He thinks what happened between him and me is all about Darla. It's still so weird to think that he doesn't remember Connor. That none of them do. Will, in Cordy's case. > > It's okay. Tell him if you want to. Not like it matters much now. > I told him in the last mail I sent. What you did, and why, that's still... I still think that's amazing. And now you've done it again. You're a hell of a role model to look up to, my friend. Jesus, don't even go thinking that. You'd be better off to look at what I did with my life and then go and do the exact opposite. That's how crappy a role model I am. > > > That's actually carpal tunnel, you know. > > Oh, right. I thought there was something wrong about that. > You're really endearing sometimes. Thanks a lot. > > Seriously? > Yeah. Found the security systems and am starting to figure out how to tap into their camera feeds. Only problem is I can't tell which feed is for what place... You've got a very big lawfirm, you know that? Yeah, I know. Um... could you see my hair? > > I'm talking to you. Not too good at it though, I know that. > You're doing fine. You know I'll poke you if I think you need it. Just remember to be careful where you go poking with those pointy sticks, okay? > > The empty thing is Connor and Cordy mostly. And Connor AND Cordy. It's a really long story and I think I've done as much talking for now as I can though, so can it wait until next time? > Sure, it can wait. But I'm here for you, man. Whatever you need. You know you can tell me anything. After Cordy came back from the Higher Being stint when she wasn't herself really, but still... she and Connor... god it's such a long story. Trying to keep it short: There was this guy, Holtz, that me and Darla had some trouble with a couple hundred years back. He came forward in time to get revenge on me for killing his family. Wanted to take Connor, before he was born even. Darla... well, Wolfram and Hart came along and had Dru turn her back, and then she and I... you know. And then somehow she got pregnant. So Darla couldn't give birth to Connor. I don't know why, don't know if it was part of some prophecy, or just one of those things that shouldn't have been allowed to happen in the first place because, you know, vampires don't have kids. She staked herself to save Connor. Little while later, Wes found this prophecy, this other prophecy, saying that I was gonna kill Connor. So he took him. Stole him away from me. Was gonna take him to Holtz, who for some fucked up reason he trusted, but Justine (um, friend of Holtz's) tricked him. Cut his throat and left him for dead, took Connor to Holtz. Holtz took Connor into Quor-toth. Hell dimension. Not a good place for anyone, but especially not a baby. When I found out what happened, I... well, I lost it. Went to the hospital where Wes was and... tried to kill him. We tried to get Connor back. Me and Fred and Gunn and Lorne (Cordy was off on a trip, and I didn't know how to call and tell her I'd lost Connor, so I didn't) -- we tried everything. But before we could figure out what the hell was going on, Connor was back. As a teenager. Him and Holtz, though we didn't know about Holtz being back at first. And they... Is this all too much to take in at once? Can you save stuff to look at later? Well, it doesn't matter, if anything doesn't make sense, I'll repeat it. Cordy came back. Holtz killed himself, with Justine's help, and set me up, made it look like I'd done it. Connor went nuts. The same night I was going to meet Cordy and tell her, you know, how I felt, Connor and Justine put me in a box and sank me to the bottom of the ocean. It was supposed to be, you know, eternal punishment. Wes was the one who got me out. I didn't deserve it, but he came after me. Made Justine help him. Hell, let me feed from his fucking *arm* when what he'd brought wasn't enough. Got back to the hotel, found out that Cordy'd disappeared the same night I had and no one'd seen her since. And Connor had been there all summer with Fred and Gunn, pretending that he didn't know where I was. Told him I loved him, and threw him out. Turns out Wes had been investigating Cordy's disappearance, pointed me in the right direction to find out that she'd been made a Higher Being. But then *she* came back. Except it wasn't really her, but we didn't know that. She was, you know, possessed or whatever. She didn't remember much at first, but after we did a spell to get her memory back, she said she'd loved me, but that she couldn't be with me because she'd seen all the terrible things I'd done in the past. You know, as Angelus. She went to Connor, and then... her and Connor... That's how she got pregnant. Sort of. I don't know. God. Anyway, that's pretty much everything. Wes and the others think that it was all about Darla and Holtz. They don't remember Connor. Only me. And now you. > > Thanks, Doyle. I'm really glad you're back. > Yeah, so am I. And not just for me. That little story turn you off the talking thing? I'd understand if it did. - Angel Next Part Main Page Send Feedback