All the Wrong Places - Part 18 To: Doyle From: Angel Hi Doyle. Sorry to take off without waking you up. I just figured after the late night we had, you could probably use your sleep. Plus you looked so peaceful that I hated to wake you. Anyway... morning. Did you sleep okay? Once we actually got some sleep, I mean? I've got meetings like crazy today, plus we're supposed to clear some Klrokskar demons out from under a client's building. Beats the hell out of me what they're doing down there, but what the client wants, the client gets. Wanna play lawyer/client when I get home tonight? Um, that should be accompanied by some kind of leer, I guess. So... you're having lunch with Wes, right? - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Doyle Hi Angel > Sorry to take off without waking you up. I just figured after the late night we had, you could probably use your sleep. You did do your best to wear me out, didn't you? > Plus you looked so peaceful that I hated to wake you. You smooth talker you. But next time, wake me. I like being able to kiss you before you leave. > Anyway... morning. Did you sleep okay? Once we actually got some sleep, I mean? I slept fine. Great even. A nice bit of exercise and a congenial bed partner... more than I'd been used to in years. Even not counting the years I was dead. I could quickly get used to that as a regular routine. > I've got meetings like crazy today, plus we're supposed to clear some Klrokskar demons out from under a client's building. Beats the hell out of me what they're doing down there, but what the client wants, the client gets. As long as the Klrokskar demons don't beat the hell out of you, I'm happy. > Wanna play lawyer/client when I get home tonight? Is that as dirty as it sounds? We could work it in with this multiple orgasm thing I'd really like to try. Hey, if I'm stuck as a woman, might as well take advantage of the benefits, eh? Can I count on your support in my continuing experiments? > Um, that should be accompanied by some kind of leer, I guess. Duly noted. Leer imagined. > So... you're having lunch with Wes, right? Yeah. Is there anything I should tell him? Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Angel Hi Doyle. > > Sorry to take off without waking you up. I just figured after the late night we had, you could probably use your sleep. > You did do your best to wear me out, didn't you? Yeah, I did. You seemed to enjoy it though. You did, right? Enjoy it? > > Plus you looked so peaceful that I hated to wake you. > You smooth talker you. But next time, wake me. I like being able to kiss you before you leave. Okay. I can do that. > > Anyway... morning. Did you sleep okay? Once we actually got some sleep, I mean? > I slept fine. Great even. A nice bit of exercise and a congenial bed partner... more than I'd been used to in years. Even not counting the years I was dead. I could quickly get used to that as a regular routine. One thing about sleeping with a vampire -- or okay, maybe just me... I don't roll around much. Pretty much tend to wake up in the same spot I fell asleep in. Plus, no breathing means no snoring. > > I've got meetings like crazy today, plus we're supposed to clear some Klrokskar demons out from under a client's building. Beats the hell out of me what they're doing down there, but what the client wants, the client gets. > As long as the Klrokskar demons don't beat the hell out of you, I'm happy. Hey, at least I heal fast. A few cuts and bruises here and there aren't a big deal. > > Wanna play lawyer/client when I get home tonight? > Is that as dirty as it sounds? Yeah? Unless you don't want it to be. > We could work it in with this multiple orgasm thing I'd really like to try. Hey, if I'm stuck as a woman, might as well take advantage of the benefits, eh? Can I count on your support in my continuing experiments? Call me support guy. There to lend a... um, hand. Or, you know, whatever other body part you might need. > > Um, that should be accompanied by some kind of leer, I guess. > Duly noted. Leer imagined. As long as you're not imagining the purple hair to go with it. > > So... you're having lunch with Wes, right? > Yeah. Is there anything I should tell him? Would you? Because... I think you're right. I think he should know. But I don't know if I can do it. Tell him, I mean. But only if you feel okay about doing it. - Angel __________ To: Harry From: Doyle Hi Harry, I hope you're sitting down -- well, I suppose you are if you're reading email. It's Francis. I'm Francis, I mean. Doyle. I know you're probably thinking that this is some kind of cruel joke but it's not. Ask me anything you need to confirm I'm me. I'll answer. Francis __________ To: Doyle From: Harry Francis? Is that really you? I don't know what to say. How did you... when... what happened? - Harry __________ To: Angel From: Doyle Hi Angel > > You did do your best to wear me out, didn't you? > Yeah, I did. You seemed to enjoy it though. You did, right? Enjoy it? Yes, Angel. Otherwise I wouldn't be asking for more tonight. > > You smooth talker you. But next time, wake me. I like being able to kiss you before you leave. > Okay. I can do that. I'll have to kiss you twice tonight when I see you. > One thing about sleeping with a vampire -- or okay, maybe just me... I don't roll around much. Pretty much tend to wake up in the same spot I fell asleep in. Plus, no breathing means no snoring. You make a very good body pillow. > > As long as the Klrokskar demons don't beat the hell out of you, I'm happy. > Hey, at least I heal fast. A few cuts and bruises here and there aren't a big deal. They are to me. > > > Wanna play lawyer/client when I get home tonight? > > Is that as dirty as it sounds? > Yeah? Unless you don't want it to be. I never said that. > > We could work it in with this multiple orgasm thing I'd really like to try. Hey, if I'm stuck as a woman, might as well take advantage of the benefits, eh? Can I count on your support in my continuing experiments? > Call me support guy. There to lend a... um, hand. Or, you know, whatever other body part you might need. That's one of the things I love about you -- always so helpful. > > > Um, that should be accompanied by some kind of leer, I guess. > > Duly noted. Leer imagined. > As long as you're not imagining the purple hair to go with it. I'll never tell. > > > So... you're having lunch with Wes, right? > > Yeah. Is there anything I should tell him? > Would you? Because... I think you're right. I think he should know. But I don't know if I can do it. Tell him, I mean. But only if you feel okay about doing it. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't. Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Angel Hi Doyle. > > You seemed to enjoy it though. You did, right? Enjoy it? > Yes, Angel. Otherwise I wouldn't be asking for more tonight. Good. I don't mean to get all... weird about it. I just don't want to mess this up. I don't want to assume that things are good and then find out they're not. > > > You smooth talker you. But next time, wake me. I like being able to kiss you before you leave. > > Okay. I can do that. > I'll have to kiss you twice tonight when I see you. Twist my arm. > > One thing about sleeping with a vampire -- or okay, maybe just me... I don't roll around much. Pretty much tend to wake up in the same spot I fell asleep in. Plus, no breathing means no snoring. > You make a very good body pillow. Really? Because the thought of you sleeping on top of me sounds pretty good. > > > As long as the Klrokskar demons don't beat the hell out of you, I'm happy. > > Hey, at least I heal fast. A few cuts and bruises here and there aren't a big deal. > They are to me. Oh. I mean, I'm not gonna stop fighting things just because you don't like it when I get hurt. You know that. > Wanna play lawyer/client when I get home tonight? > > > Is that as dirty as it sounds? > > Yeah? Unless you don't want it to be. > I never said that. Could be fun. You tell me what you need to make you happy, and I do it. > > Call me support guy. There to lend a... um, hand. Or, you know, whatever other body part you might need. > That's one of the things I love about you -- always so helpful. Yeah. Someone's gotta support you in your quest for scientific knowledge. > > As long as you're not imagining the purple hair to go with it. > I'll never tell. You'll never do it either. > > > > So... you're having lunch with Wes, right? > > > Yeah. Is there anything I should tell him? > > Would you? Because... I think you're right. I think he should know. But I don't know if I can do it. Tell him, I mean. But only if you feel okay about doing it. > I wouldn't have offered if I didn't. Then yeah. Just... tell him why I did it? And make sure he remembers that thing about not shooting the messenger. And tell him I'm sorry. What if he doesn't believe you? - Angel __________ To: Harry From: Doyle Hi Harry > Francis? Is that really you? Yeah. It's me. Angel will vouch for me. > I don't know what to say. How did you... when... what happened? Long long story. Short version -- something had happened to Cordelia and while they were trying a spell to help her, they somehow brought me back. Into the computer system at Wolfram and Hart -- which Angel now runs. (That's another long story which I'm still getting the details of.) So I was in the computer system for a few days, but I was able to communicate via email and chat programs. Then in another attempt to help Cordelia, I somehow ended up *in* her body. That's when Cordelia showed up -- outside of her body -- she's become a higher being and isn't coming back. So she *gave* me her body so I *could*. So I'm back, in the flesh. Just that uh, the flesh is a lot more female than it used to be. That's about it in a nutshell. So how have you been the last few years? Francis __________ To: Doyle From: Harry > Yeah. It's me. Angel will vouch for me. Hi Francis. I can't believe it's really you. No, I do believe it's you, obviously. But it's so amazing. > Long long story. Short version -- something had happened to Cordelia and while they were trying a spell to help her, they somehow brought me back. Into the computer system at Wolfram and Hart -- which Angel now runs. (That's another long story which I'm still getting the details of.) So I was in the computer system for a few days, but I was able to communicate via email and chat programs. Then in another attempt to help Cordelia, I somehow ended up *in* her body. That's when Cordelia showed up -- outside of her body -- she's become a higher being and isn't coming back. So she *gave* me her body so I *could*. So I'm back, in the flesh. Just that uh, the flesh is a lot more female than it used to be. That's about it in a nutshell. That's a pretty big nutshell. So you're telling me that you look like Cordelia now. That you're a woman instead of a man. Trust you to come up with the craziest identity crisis on the planet. > So how have you been the last few years? Good. I'm good. It was hard when you died. Harder than I'd have thought it would be, if I'd thought about it. Us being apart, that was one thing, but you being dead... I hadn't counted on that. But I'm good. I got married about two and a half years ago. His name's Thomas, and... he's a good man, Francis. I think you'd like him. He's kind, and sweet, and he's a clinical psychologist who works with children. He's really good with kids. Just like you. And... we have a daughter. She just had her first birthday last month. She's beautiful, and when she smiles it just lights up the room. She's just starting to walk. I hope you'll get to meet her. I hope none of this hurts too much to hear. What are you going to do now? Is there anything I can do? - Harry __________ To: Angel From: Doyle Hi Angel > > > You did, right? Enjoy it? > > Yes, Angel. Otherwise I wouldn't be asking for more tonight. > Good. I don't mean to get all... weird about it. I just don't want to mess this up. I don't want to assume that things are good and then find out they're not. You're not going to mess this up. And do you really think that I would keep quiet if there was something wrong? Have I ever? Well, successfully? > > I'll have to kiss you twice tonight when I see you. > Twist my arm. Well, if you insist... > > You make a very good body pillow. > Really? Because the thought of you sleeping on top of me sounds pretty good. Feels pretty good, too. > > > Hey, at least I heal fast. A few cuts and bruises here and there aren't a big deal. > > They are to me. > Oh. I mean, I'm not gonna stop fighting things just because you don't like it when I get hurt. You know that. I'm not asking you to. Just work on the ducking and don't take stupid chances. I just came back from the dead; I don't want you dying when I just got here. > > > > > Wanna play lawyer/client when I get home tonight? > > > > Is that as dirty as it sounds? > > > Yeah? Unless you don't want it to be. > > I never said that. > Could be fun. You tell me what you need to make you happy, and I do it. I'm noticing a theme here -- you really like the idea of me telling you what I want you to do, don't you? > > > Call me support guy. There to lend a... um, hand. Or, you know, whatever other body part you might need. > > That's one of the things I love about you -- always so helpful. > Yeah. Someone's gotta support you in your quest for scientific knowledge. I'm gonna make sure to thank you in the acknowledgements. > > > As long as you're not imagining the purple hair to go with it. > > I'll never tell. > You'll never do it either. You keep saying that, I'm going to start taking it as a challenge. > > > > > So... you're having lunch with Wes, right? > > > > Yeah. Is there anything I should tell him? > > > Would you? Because... I think you're right. I think he should know. But I don't know if I can do it. Tell him, I mean. But only if you feel okay about doing it. > > I wouldn't have offered if I didn't. > Then yeah. Just... tell him why I did it? And make sure he remembers that thing about not shooting the messenger. And tell him I'm sorry. I'll tell him everything, and make sure he understands. Promise. > What if he doesn't believe you? Why would he think I'd make it up? Don't worry, Angel. I can be very convincing when I need to be. Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Angel Hi Doyle. > > I don't mean to get all... weird about it. I just don't want to mess this up. I don't want to assume that things are good and then find out they're not. > You're not going to mess this up. And do you really think that I would keep quiet if there was something wrong? Have I ever? Well, successfully? Depends on who things are wrong for. Because yeah, I could see you keeping quiet about something that was bothering you if you thought it'd upset me or something. > > Really? Because the thought of you sleeping on top of me sounds pretty good. > Feels pretty good, too. A little too good for sleeping maybe. You'll have to wear me out every night if you want to do that. > > I mean, I'm not gonna stop fighting things just because you don't like it when I get hurt. You know that. > I'm not asking you to. Just work on the ducking and don't take stupid chances. I just came back from the dead; I don't want you dying when I just got here. I'm not going to. I'm gonna be here no matter what. > > Could be fun. You tell me what you need to make you happy, and I do it. > I'm noticing a theme here -- you really like the idea of me telling you what I want you to do, don't you? Well... if you tell me what you want, I can give it to you. If I have to guess, I might guess wrong. I'd rather know I'm getting it right. > > > That's one of the things I love about you -- always so helpful. > > Yeah. Someone's gotta support you in your quest for scientific knowledge. > I'm gonna make sure to thank you in the acknowledgements. I don't do it for the thanks. > > > > As long as you're not imagining the purple hair to go with it. > > > I'll never tell. > > You'll never do it either. > You keep saying that, I'm going to start taking it as a challenge. What's with the purple, anyway? Are you some kind of color fetishist? > > Then yeah. Just... tell him why I did it? And make sure he remembers that thing about not shooting the messenger. And tell him I'm sorry. > I'll tell him everything, and make sure he understands. Promise. He might not. Understand, I mean. If he doesn't, don't worry about it. I know you'll do everything you can, and... I won't be mad at him if he can't forgive me. > > What if he doesn't believe you? > Why would he think I'd make it up? No, I know. It's just a lot to take in. > Don't worry, Angel. I can be very convincing when I need to be. I'm not worried. Well okay, I am, but not about what you're going to do. And... if you get there, to lunch, and it's too hard to do it, I'll understand that too. - Angel __________ To: Harry From: Doyle Hi Harry, > Hi Francis. I can't believe it's really you. No, I do believe it's you, obviously. But it's so amazing. You should try it from where I'm sitting. ;-) > > That's about it in a nutshell. > That's a pretty big nutshell. Yeah, guess it is. Giant economy sized nutshell. > So you're telling me that you look like Cordelia now. That you're a woman instead of a man. Pretty much. On the outside at least. I'm not sure exactly how I identify myself -- still tend to think in male pronouns and stuff. But it beats being dead, don't you think? > Trust you to come up with the craziest identity crisis on the planet. Yeah. And I thought I'd never top the wake up all green and spiky bit. > > So how have you been the last few years? > Good. I'm good. It was hard when you died. Harder than I'd have thought it would be, if I'd thought about it. Us being apart, that was one thing, but you being dead... I hadn't counted on that. I'm sorry. > But I'm good. I got married about two and a half years ago. His name's Thomas, and... he's a good man, Francis. I think you'd like him. He's kind, and sweet, and he's a clinical psychologist who works with children. He's really good with kids. Just like you. As long as he makes you happy. Well, that and he doesn't try to eat my brains... > And... we have a daughter. She just had her first birthday last month. She's beautiful, and when she smiles it just lights up the room. She's just starting to walk. I'd be surprised if she wasn't beautiful with you as a mother. Tell me more about her? > I hope you'll get to meet her. I'd like that. A lot. > I hope none of this hurts too much to hear. I'm glad you're happy. Really. > What are you going to do now? Is there anything I can do? I'm still working on the what I want to do bit. Angel's been great. He and I... He's been great. Really. As for what you can do, I've never been female before and you've been one all your life so if I have any questions....? Francis __________ To: Doyle From: Harry Hi Francis. Did it hurt? Coming back to life, I mean? I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to wake up in someone else's body, especially if they were the opposite sex. I can't picture you as Cordelia. I just keeping thinking of you as YOU. > > I can't believe it's really you. No, I do believe it's you, obviously. But it's so amazing. > You should try it from where I'm sitting. ;-) I'm sure it must be upsetting, to look in a mirror and see someone else's face. Of course, maybe you'd gotten used to that? > > So you're telling me that you look like Cordelia now. That you're a woman instead of a man. > Pretty much. On the outside at least. I'm not sure exactly how I identify myself -- still tend to think in male pronouns and stuff. But it beats being dead, don't you think? I'm really, really glad you're back, Francis. I didn't like thinking about a world without you in it. Even if you look like someone else now, it's still a good thing. > > Trust you to come up with the craziest identity crisis on the planet. > Yeah. And I thought I'd never top the wake up all green and spiky bit. I can only hope there aren't any other surprises waiting for you. You have enough to adjust to. > > It was hard when you died. Harder than I'd have thought it would be, if I'd thought about it. Us being apart, that was one thing, but you being dead... I hadn't counted on that. > I'm sorry. Oh, don't be sorry. When Angel and Cordelia told me what had happened, I was so proud of you. Very upset too, but really proud. I knew you had it in you. You can do anything you set your mind to. > > I got married about two and a half years ago. His name's Thomas, and... he's a good man, Francis. I think you'd like him. He's kind, and sweet, and he's a clinical psychologist who works with children. He's really good with kids. Just like you. > As long as he makes you happy. Well, that and he doesn't try to eat my brains... No, he's human. He understands about everything, but he's just a regular guy. He does make me happy. > > And... we have a daughter. She just had her first birthday last month. She's beautiful, and when she smiles it just lights up the room. She's just starting to walk. > I'd be surprised if she wasn't beautiful with you as a mother. Tell me more about her? She has blonde hair. Not very much of it though, not yet. For a while I was putting those little bows in her hair so that people would know she was a girl, but she kept pulling them out so I stopped. And she likes to swing at the park, and her favorite food is bananas. Her name's Aisling. Aisling Frances O'Connor. Is there some saying about once you go Irish, you never go back? There should be. > > I hope you'll get to meet her. > I'd like that. A lot. Then we'll make plans to do that. I want to see you again, Francis, even if you look different from how I remember. > > I hope none of this hurts too much to hear. > I'm glad you're happy. Really. I am happy. I hope you will be too, once you get settled. > > What are you going to do now? Is there anything I can do? > I'm still working on the what I want to do bit. Angel's been great. He and I... He's been great. Really. Is he easy to talk to? Does he really listen? What does he do when you get in a mood and just want to push everyone away? > As for what you can do, I've never been female before and you've been one all your life so if I have any questions....? Of *course.* You can ask me anything. You know that. Love Harry __________ To: Angel From: Doyle Hi Angel > > And do you really think that I would keep quiet if there was something wrong? Have I ever? Well, successfully? > Depends on who things are wrong for. Because yeah, I could see you keeping quiet about something that was bothering you if you thought it'd upset me or something. I wouldn't do that. And even if I did, when haven't you been able to see through me? > > > Really? Because the thought of you sleeping on top of me sounds pretty good. > > Feels pretty good, too. > A little too good for sleeping maybe. You'll have to wear me out every night if you want to do that. Like we haven't been doing that regardless. :-) > > I just came back from the dead; I don't want you dying when I just got here. > I'm not going to. I'm gonna be here no matter what. You do know I'm going to hold ya to that, right? > > I'm noticing a theme here -- you really like the idea of me telling you what I want you to do, don't you? > Well... if you tell me what you want, I can give it to you. If I have to guess, I might guess wrong. I'd rather know I'm getting it right. You haven't made any mistakes in the bedroom yet. > > > > That's one of the things I love about you -- always so helpful. > > > Yeah. Someone's gotta support you in your quest for scientific knowledge. > > I'm gonna make sure to thank you in the acknowledgements. > I don't do it for the thanks. Just the warm satisfaction of helping me acquire knowledge? > > You keep saying that, I'm going to start taking it as a challenge. > What's with the purple, anyway? Are you some kind of color fetishist? It was the first outrageous colour that popped into my head when I needed a threat for you. > > > Then yeah. Just... tell him why I did it? And make sure he remembers that thing about not shooting the messenger. And tell him I'm sorry. > > I'll tell him everything, and make sure he understands. Promise. > He might not. Understand, I mean. If he doesn't, don't worry about it. I know you'll do everything you can, and... I won't be mad at him if he can't forgive me. This is the first step to both of you being able to come to terms with what happened and forgiving each other. > > > What if he doesn't believe you? > > Why would he think I'd make it up? > No, I know. It's just a lot to take in. Yeah, it is. But I'm hoping the fact that this will make his feelings make sense will help it sink in. > > Don't worry, Angel. I can be very convincing when I need to be. > I'm not worried. Well okay, I am, but not about what you're going to do. Just that it's going to be done, huh? > And... if you get there, to lunch, and it's too hard to do it, I'll understand that too. I'm not going to back out, Angel. I promise. Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Angel Hi Doyle. > > Depends on who things are wrong for. Because yeah, I could see you keeping quiet about something that was bothering you if you thought it'd upset me or something. > I wouldn't do that. And even if I did, when haven't you been able to see through me? You're not as transparent as you think, you know. Especially not... now. > > A little too good for sleeping maybe. You'll have to wear me out every night if you want to do that. > Like we haven't been doing that regardless. :-) Well yeah, but we might not keep up to this pace. > > I'm not going to. I'm gonna be here no matter what. > You do know I'm going to hold ya to that, right? You won't have to. I'm not going anywhere. > > Well... if you tell me what you want, I can give it to you. If I have to guess, I might guess wrong. I'd rather know I'm getting it right. > You haven't made any mistakes in the bedroom yet. Good to know. I mean, I'm not saying I have no idea what I'm doing... I've been around long enough that I like to think I know my way around a... well, woman's body. But still, different people have different taste. In bed. > > I don't do it for the thanks. > Just the warm satisfaction of helping me acquire knowledge? Exactly. Plus I like that breathy little moan thing you do. > > What's with the purple, anyway? Are you some kind of color fetishist? > It was the first outrageous colour that popped into my head when I needed a threat for you. I can't say it didn't work, but geez. Get over it. Joke's not funny the millionth time around, you know? Um, I'm kidding. About the joking thing, not the hair. Kind of. > > He might not. Understand, I mean. If he doesn't, don't worry about it. I know you'll do everything you can, and... I won't be mad at him if he can't forgive me. > This is the first step to both of you being able to come to terms with what happened and forgiving each other. Yeah. We'll see. > > No, I know. It's just a lot to take in. > Yeah, it is. But I'm hoping the fact that this will make his feelings make sense will help it sink in. I'm hoping too. > > Well okay, I am, but not about what you're going to do. > Just that it's going to be done, huh? Yeah. You'll let me know? As soon as it's done, I mean. > > And... if you get there, to lunch, and it's too hard to do it, I'll understand that too. > I'm not going to back out, Angel. I promise. You don't have to. Promise. But thanks. Love you. No matter what. - Angel __________ To: Harry From: Doyle Hi Harry, > Did it hurt? Coming back to life, I mean? I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to wake up in someone else's body, especially if they were the opposite sex. It didn't hurt. One minute I was... somewhere I can't remember, the next I was in the computer. Took me a while to figure out that's where I was. There was a bit of weirdness right before I got yanked from the computer and woke up in this body but no pain. Lots of disorientation though, believe you me. > I can't picture you as Cordelia. I just keeping thinking of you as YOU. I keep thinking of me as me, too. I mean, it doesn't feel any different than before, least till I run into one of the obvious differences -- like I glance down at something and do a double-take at having breasts. It's a bit weird hearing my voice now too because it's not my voice. It's Cordelia's. Just not with the American accent. But I'm still me on the inside. > > > I can't believe it's really you. No, I do believe it's you, obviously. But it's so amazing. > > You should try it from where I'm sitting. ;-) > I'm sure it must be upsetting, to look in a mirror and see someone else's face. Of course, maybe you'd gotten used to that? It's only been a couple of days. Haven't got used to it yet. Though I have to go looking for a mirror -- I'm staying with Angel, and well, vampires don't decorate with a lot of mirrors. But getting dressed -- and especially showering -- it's surreal. I feel like I should be doing it with my eyes shut or something, like I'm peeping on Cordelia. I'm sure I'll get over that eventually -- it's just going to take time to look at this body and not think it's someone else's. Oh, my eyes are the same though. And that does help when I do look in the mirror -- least I see my own eyes. > > > So you're telling me that you look like Cordelia now. That you're a woman instead of a man. > > Pretty much. On the outside at least. I'm not sure exactly how I identify myself -- still tend to think in male pronouns and stuff. But it beats being dead, don't you think? > I'm really, really glad you're back, Francis. I didn't like thinking about a world without you in it. Even if you look like someone else now, it's still a good thing. You always knew how to make me smile. Thanks, Harry, really. It means a lot to hear that. > I can only hope there aren't any other surprises waiting for you. You have enough to adjust to. From your mouth to the Powers That Be's ears > > > It was hard when you died. Harder than I'd have thought it would be, if I'd thought about it. Us being apart, that was one thing, but you being dead... I hadn't counted on that. > > I'm sorry. > Oh, don't be sorry. When Angel and Cordelia told me what had happened, I was so proud of you. Very upset too, but really proud. I knew you had it in you. You can do anything you set your mind to. If you had asked me before it happened, I never would have thought I had it in me. I wasn't a hero like Angel was, I didn't have it in me to make those kind of sacrifices. 'Cept I guess I did, when it came down to it and I had to make that decision. Didn't mean I wasn't freaking terrified though. And you're the first one I've admitted that to. > > > I got married about two and a half years ago. His name's Thomas, and... he's a good man, Francis. I think you'd like him. He's kind, and sweet, and he's a clinical psychologist who works with children. He's really good with kids. Just like you. > > As long as he makes you happy. Well, that and he doesn't try to eat my brains... > No, he's human. He understands about everything, but he's just a regular guy. Have to say I'm relieved. Not that I'm not sure there are perfectly wonderful demons out there you could've been happy with -- me for instance, if I hadn't been so bent on being such a self-pitying mess -- but there's less chance of you running up against weirdness you didn't plan for. (Again me, for instance, or your new husband wanting to eat your former husband's brains.) > He does make me happy. Good. If he ever doesn't, he'll have me to answer to. > > > And... we have a daughter. She just had her first birthday last month. She's beautiful, and when she smiles it just lights up the room. She's just starting to walk. > She has blonde hair. Not very much of it though, not yet. For a while I was putting those little bows in her hair so that people would know she was a girl, but she kept pulling them out so I stopped. And she likes to swing at the park, and her favorite food is bananas. Doesn't like all the finery and frippery huh? Just like her mom. > Her name's Aisling. Aisling Frances O'Connor. You... Oh. I'm not sure what to say. Err... maybe I better make sure that the Frances bit is for me before I get all gushy over it. > Is there some saying about once you go Irish, you never go back? There should be. You really know how to stroke my ego, don't you darlin'? Though with recent experience ... I could probably get behind such a saying myself. > > > I hope you'll get to meet her. > > I'd like that. A lot. > Then we'll make plans to do that. I want to see you again, Francis, even if you look different from how I remember. Just name the time and place. > > > I hope none of this hurts too much to hear. > > I'm glad you're happy. Really. > I am happy. I hope you will be too, once you get settled. Things on that front are looking quite hopeful. > > > What are you going to do now? Is there anything I can do? > > I'm still working on the what I want to do bit. Angel's been great. He and I... He's been great. Really. > Is he easy to talk to? Does he really listen? What does he do when you get in a mood and just want to push everyone away? He's very easy to talk to -- least I've always found him that way. I know not everybody does. And he's always been a good listener to me too -- even hearing the things I don't say. I haven't actually got in a mood and pushed people away since I came back. Been too busy helping him come to terms with things and reassuring him that *he* can't push *me* away. Though, when I think back to before I died... he was good about it -- wouldn't let me retreat, but wouldn't pressure me so much to open up that I'd shut right down. As a result, I was able to tell him things I wasn't able to tell anyone else. > > As for what you can do, I've never been female before and you've been one all your life so if I have any questions....? > Of *course.* You can ask me anything. You know that. Thanks. I'm managing so far but I expect that there's going to be certain feminine things I'm going to be needing advice on. Love, Francis __________ To: Doyle From: Harry Hello Francis, > > Did it hurt? Coming back to life, I mean? I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to wake up in someone else's body, especially if they were the opposite sex. > It didn't hurt. One minute I was... somewhere I can't remember, the next I was in the computer. Took me a while to figure out that's where I was. There was a bit of weirdness right before I got yanked from the computer and woke up in this body but no pain. Lots of disorientation though, believe you me. I'm glad it didn't hurt. After what happened when you died, it wouldn't be fair... Don't you think some things should be fair? > > I can't picture you as Cordelia. I just keeping thinking of you as YOU. > I keep thinking of me as me, too. I mean, it doesn't feel any different than before, least till I run into one of the obvious differences -- like I glance down at something and do a double-take at having breasts. It's a bit weird hearing my voice now too because it's not my voice. It's Cordelia's. Just not with the American accent. But I'm still me on the inside. I'd never mistake you for anyone else. You still sound like you. Write like you. Use the same words. > > I'm sure it must be upsetting, to look in a mirror and see someone else's face. Of course, maybe you'd gotten used to that? > It's only been a couple of days. Haven't got used to it yet. Though I have to go looking for a mirror -- I'm staying with Angel, and well, vampires don't decorate with a lot of mirrors. But getting dressed -- and especially showering -- it's surreal. I feel like I should be doing it with my eyes shut or something, like I'm peeping on Cordelia. I'm sure I'll get over that eventually -- it's just going to take time to look at this body and not think it's someone else's. Oh, my eyes are the same though. And that does help when I do look in the mirror -- least I see my own eyes. That's interesting, that your eyes are the same. I wonder why that happened? > > I'm really, really glad you're back, Francis. I didn't like thinking about a world without you in it. Even if you look like someone else now, it's still a good thing. > You always knew how to make me smile. Thanks, Harry, really. It means a lot to hear that. I wasn't saying it to make you smile, but I'm glad it did. It's true. > > Oh, don't be sorry. When Angel and Cordelia told me what had happened, I was so proud of you. Very upset too, but really proud. I knew you had it in you. You can do anything you set your mind to. > If you had asked me before it happened, I never would have thought I had it in me. I wasn't a hero like Angel was, I didn't have it in me to make those kind of sacrifices. 'Cept I guess I did, when it came down to it and I had to make that decision. Didn't mean I wasn't freaking terrified though. And you're the first one I've admitted that to. Anyone would be. It doesn't mean anything that you were. What means something is that you did what you did even though you were scared. There isn't any shame in admitting it. I'm sure Angel and Cordelia wouldn't think any less of you. > > No, he's human. He understands about everything, but he's just a regular guy. > Have to say I'm relieved. Not that I'm not sure there are perfectly wonderful demons out there you could've been happy with -- me for instance, if I hadn't been so bent on being such a self-pitying mess -- but there's less chance of you running up against weirdness you didn't plan for. (Again me, for instance, or your new husband wanting to eat your former husband's brains.) Well you know I didn't go out and deliberately pick someone who was human just for that reason. We met and fell in love. That's all that matters. That's all that mattered to me before. I'm sorry things happened between us the way they did, and it wasn't just you, it was me too. > > He does make me happy. > Good. If he ever doesn't, he'll have me to answer to. You're sweet, but don't worry. > And... we have a daughter. She just had her first birthday last month. She's beautiful, and when she smiles it just lights up the room. She's just starting to walk. > > She has blonde hair. Not very much of it though, not yet. For a while I was putting those little bows in her hair so that people would know she was a girl, but she kept pulling them out so I stopped. And she likes to swing at the park, and her favorite food is bananas. > Doesn't like all the finery and frippery huh? Just like her mom. I guess so. I hadn't thought about it before, but you're right. Sometimes it takes someone who's known you for a long time to point out something like that. > > Her name's Aisling. Aisling Frances O'Connor. > You... Oh. I'm not sure what to say. Err... maybe I better make sure that the Frances bit is for me before I get all gushy over it. Of course it is. Who else would it be for? And before you ask, yes, Thomas knows why, and he agreed with me that you were a good person to name our daughter after. > > Is there some saying about once you go Irish, you never go back? There should be. > You really know how to stroke my ego, don't you darlin'? Though with recent experience ... I could probably get behind such a saying myself. What do you mean? Are you... but you're a woman now. Are you saying you're having... romantic feelings for a man? Or maybe I'm getting it all wrong. > > Then we'll make plans to do that. I want to see you again, Francis, even if you look different from how I remember. > Just name the time and place. Whenever's good for you. Maybe you should give yourself a little time to get more settled, into your own place. I could bring her down to see you, if you wanted me to. > > > I'm glad you're happy. Really. > > I am happy. I hope you will be too, once you get settled. > Things on that front are looking quite hopeful. Tell me. > > Is he easy to talk to? Does he really listen? What does he do when you get in a mood and just want to push everyone away? > He's very easy to talk to -- least I've always found him that way. I know not everybody does. And he's always been a good listener to me too -- even hearing the things I don't say. I haven't actually got in a mood and pushed people away since I came back. Been too busy helping him come to terms with things and reassuring him that *he* can't push *me* away. Though, when I think back to before I died... he was good about it -- wouldn't let me retreat, but wouldn't pressure me so much to open up that I'd shut right down. As a result, I was able to tell him things I wasn't able to tell anyone else. He sounds like a good friend. I'm glad. You deserve to have someone in your life who understands you. > > Of *course.* You can ask me anything. You know that. > Thanks. I'm managing so far but I expect that there's going to be certain feminine things I'm going to be needing advice on. I'm happy to help in any way I can. Just let me know. - Harry __________ To: Harry From: Doyle Hi Harry, > > It didn't hurt. One minute I was... somewhere I can't remember, the next I was in the computer. Took me a while to figure out that's where I was. There was a bit of weirdness right before I got yanked from the computer and woke up in this body but no pain. Lots of disorientation though, believe you me. > I'm glad it didn't hurt. After what happened when you died, it wouldn't be fair... Hey, I'm back. I'm alive again -- that's more than fair I think. > Don't you think some things should be fair? Same old Harry. Always wanting the universe to be fair. That's always been one of your most endearing qualities. > > But I'm still me on the inside. > I'd never mistake you for anyone else. You still sound like you. Write like you. Use the same words. In some ways, what happened before, when my demon side manifested, it prepared me for this. Well, as much as anyone can be prepared for this. I dealt really badly -- really, really badly -- with that identity crisis; I'm doing better this time. Partially because now I know that it won't change anything important about me that I don't let it change. I'm sorry I let it change so much last time. I don't know if I ever told you that. > > Oh, my eyes are the same though. And that does help when I do look in the mirror -- least I see my own eyes. > That's interesting, that your eyes are the same. I wonder why that happened? Have no idea. Magic is so not my bailiwick. Though the eyes being the window to the soul and it being my soul that's in this body... Or it could just be the Powers way of keeping track of who is in what skin, I haven't a clue. > > > I'm really, really glad you're back, Francis. I didn't like thinking about a world without you in it. Even if you look like someone else now, it's still a good thing. > > You always knew how to make me smile. Thanks, Harry, really. It means a lot to hear that. > I wasn't saying it to make you smile, but I'm glad it did. It's true. Always good to know that there's people that care out there. > > If you had asked me before it happened, I never would have thought I had it in me. I wasn't a hero like Angel was, I didn't have it in me to make those kind of sacrifices. 'Cept I guess I did, when it came down to it and I had to make that decision. Didn't mean I wasn't freaking terrified though. And you're the first one I've admitted that to. > Anyone would be. It doesn't mean anything that you were. What means something is that you did what you did even though you were scared. There isn't any shame in admitting it. I'm sure Angel and Cordelia wouldn't think any less of you. Yeah, I know. It's just... it's different talking about it with Angel. Every time it comes up, he gets all glowery and intense and pretty much the conversation devolves into him telling me I'm never to do something like that again. > Well you know I didn't go out and deliberately pick someone who was human just for that reason. We met and fell in love. That's all that matters. That's all that mattered to me before. I know. I just forgot for a bit -- back when I really needed to remember it the most. > I'm sorry things happened between us the way they did, and it wasn't just you, it was me too. It was mostly me though. If I'd been faster with coming to terms with what I am -- or was? am -- maybe... As it was I don't think I really did that until right before I died. When Cordelia found out and pretty much made it clear it was a non-issue and asked me to ask her out. > > > He does make me happy. > > Good. If he ever doesn't, he'll have me to answer to. > You're sweet, but don't worry. You already had a husband that made you unhappy -- he's not allowed to do that. > > Doesn't like all the finery and frippery huh? Just like her mom. > I guess so. I hadn't thought about it before, but you're right. Sometimes it takes someone who's known you for a long time to point out something like that. Or someone who spent way too much time thinking about children we'd never had. Sorry. That was... I really wanted you to have my children, y'know. Used to think about it a lot after we separated. About what could've been if I hadn't discovered my heritage. I always fancied our daughter -- your daughter -- as a feisty little blonde tomboy. Guess I wasn't far off. Cept for the part where I'm going to have to play Uncle instead of Daddy. Or I guess that's Aunt now. > > > Her name's Aisling. Aisling Frances O'Connor. > > You... Oh. I'm not sure what to say. Err... maybe I better make sure that the Frances bit is for me before I get all gushy over it. > Of course it is. Who else would it be for? And before you ask, yes, Thomas knows why, and he agreed with me that you were a good person to name our daughter after. Okay, getting all gushy now. :-D > > > Is there some saying about once you go Irish, you never go back? There should be. > > You really know how to stroke my ego, don't you darlin'? Though with recent experience ... I could probably get behind such a saying myself. > What do you mean? Are you... but you're a woman now. Are you saying you're having... romantic feelings for a man? Or maybe I'm getting it all wrong. No, you're not getting it all wrong. And I had romantic feelings for a man - this man - before I ended up in this body. > > > Then we'll make plans to do that. I want to see you again, Francis, even if you look different from how I remember. > > Just name the time and place. > Whenever's good for you. Maybe you should give yourself a little time to get more settled, into your own place. I could bring her down to see you, if you wanted me to. There's some messy things I'm helping mediate right now. That's probably going to be taking up my time for the next few days at least. Maybe next week sometime? > > > > I'm glad you're happy. Really. > > > I am happy. I hope you will be too, once you get settled. > > Things on that front are looking quite hopeful. > Tell me. I can see where I'm needed here. What I do best -- what I was starting to realise I do best before -- listening and talking, telling people what they need to hear, even if it's not what they want to hear -- it's what's really needed around here. More than that, I'm wanted. Desperately, if that's not stressing the point too much. Being needed and wanted, that's the start of finding a place where you fit. Can't ask for much more. > He sounds like a good friend. I'm glad. You deserve to have someone in your life who understands you. Angel does. As much as anyone can understand someone else. And... err... he's not just a good friend. Have I mentioned that Angel's originally from Ireland? > > > Of *course.* You can ask me anything. You know that. > > Thanks. I'm managing so far but I expect that there's going to be certain feminine things I'm going to be needing advice on. > I'm happy to help in any way I can. Just let me know. When you come down with Aisling, maybe you can teach me the arcane and mysterious art of shopping for women's clothing? Love, Francis __________ To: Wesley From: Doyle Hi Wesley > > > We've all done -- or not done -- things that we regret. The only thing we can do is try to forgive ourselves and move on, trying to do better in the future. > > Good advice. > Yes, I'm rather good at dispensing it, as you can see. Taking it myself is another matter entirely. Least you realise that. That's the first step. > > > And it's good that you learned to accept yourself for who you are. I suppose there's a bit more of that to do now that things have changed for you again. > > Yeah. Things are easier the second time around though. > Good. I'm glad you're handling this so well. I don't believe I would be, were I in your shoes. It's quite possible I just haven't had time to have a breakdown or anything yet. I'll let you know. > > > I suppose Angel and I are more alike than I might care to admit. > > You are. You're a little less annoyingly stubborn than him though. > Was that a compliment? Yes. > > > If it's not too presumptuous of me to ask, educational in what ways? > > In how... certain reactions and actions are different in a female body than a male's. > *Oh.* I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I certainly don't expect you to share... personal, private things of that nature. I apologize. Don't worry about it. Certainly not something I'm ashamed of or anything. Though yeah, maybe don't want to share any details. Things seem all to be in working order though. > > Yeah, I get that. We'll see what we can do to get you two back to being comfortable with each other. > From where I'm standing, your help so far has been instrumental, and I'd be grateful for any further assistance. It's more important to me than I'd like to admit, that Angel and I repair this rift between us. I want to see the two of you do that. He doesn't have many people he lets close; he can't afford to lose any. > > > I do find myself admitting the most difficult things to you. > > I'm glad you feel like you can. > You're very easy to talk to. Thanks. I try. > > Just, whatever is in your mind. Whatever words that pop in there. We can sort it out, once it's in the open. > I'm tired of feeling guilty and not completely understanding why. Is that open enough for you? Yeah. I... There's some things we need to discuss. Hopefully that'll help. > > In my head, I'm still "he". Don't know if that's going to change. > It doesn't have to. People who care about you will make the effort to understand. That's a good motto to remember. It applies to you too, y'know. > > > > And tomorrow afternoon sounds great. > > > I could pick you up at the hotel? At noon? > > Sounds good. > Excellent. Actually, I have some things I need to talk to you about and it might be better to do it in private. Maybe you can pick up the food and bring it back here? > > It used to. Still trying to work out if my old tastes hold or if I got Cordelia's tastes now. You can help me experiment. > Oh, I hadn't thought about that. Have you discovered anything so far? Things that you used to like that you no longer seem to care for, that sort of thing? Cordelia liked the biryani, either chicken or vegetable. She wasn't fond of lamb. I'll leave the food selection up to you. > > > > Maybe you owe him something, but not your soul. > > > Yes, well. Clearly we don't see eye to eye on this issue. You don't know... > > I know more than you might think. > Oh. Angel's been telling you his side of the story, has he? I'd like to think that it didn't differ too much from my version, as I did try to be as fair as possible. We can discuss it at lunch. There's some things that shouldn't be said in an email. > > > > Mostly thanks to Angel and Cordelia. > > > I'd like to hear that long story, and anything else you'd like to tell me. > > I can regale you with the whole sorry tale over lunch tomorrow. > You needn't, if you'd prefer not to. We can talk about anything you like. I'll be glad to share the story about the bachelor party from hell. > > > You must miss Cordelia terribly. You and she were... well, I was under the impression that perhaps she had more than just friendly feelings for you when you died. > > I do miss her. She was... well special. We never really got beyond friends -- we'd just made our first date when I... > I'm sorry. If you want to change the subject at any time, I completely understand. It's okay. I want to remember Cordelia and that involves sharing the memories. > > No, that's okay. Gives me something else I can ask her when I get up the nerve to contact her. > You haven't contacted her yet? Not that you should do so until you're ready, of course. It must be rather intimidating. It was a bit of a leap of faith that first email, but yeah I've contacted her now. She's... It's good. We're talking like we did in the old days. > > > Would you feel it was a betrayal of his confidence if I were to ask you to tell me, candidly, how he feels about me? > > No it wouldn't. Let me gather some data and I'll answer the question for you. > Thank you. It would be reassuring to know, assuming, of course, there's anything reassuring about his feelings. He cares, Wesley. Above all else you have to remember that. He respects you and thinks you're smart and dedicated and that you'll always do what you think is right. The rest... we'll talk about at lunch, okay? Just remember that Angel does care about you. And so do I. Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Wesley Hello Doyle. > > Yes, I'm rather good at dispensing it, as you can see. Taking it myself is another matter entirely. > Least you realise that. That's the first step. I suppose so. I may need someone to point out when I'm being unreasonable. > > Good. I'm glad you're handling this so well. I don't believe I would be, were I in your shoes. > It's quite possible I just haven't had time to have a breakdown or anything yet. I'll let you know. Please do. I'm more than willing to help in any way I can. > > > > I suppose Angel and I are more alike than I might care to admit. > > > You are. You're a little less annoyingly stubborn than him though. > > Was that a compliment? > Yes. Thank you? > > > In how... certain reactions and actions are different in a female body than a male's. > > *Oh.* I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I certainly don't expect you to share... personal, private things of that nature. I apologize. > Don't worry about it. Certainly not something I'm ashamed of or anything. Though yeah, maybe don't want to share any details. Things seem all to be in working order though. That's... good to know. And Angel's not... concerned? > > From where I'm standing, your help so far has been instrumental, and I'd be grateful for any further assistance. It's more important to me than I'd like to admit, that Angel and I repair this rift between us. > I want to see the two of you do that. He doesn't have many people he lets close; he can't afford to lose any. Neither can I. > > I'm tired of feeling guilty and not completely understanding why. Is that open enough for you? > Yeah. I... There's some things we need to discuss. Hopefully that'll help. You think you can convince me not to feel guilty? > > > In my head, I'm still "he". Don't know if that's going to change. > > It doesn't have to. People who care about you will make the effort to understand. > That's a good motto to remember. It applies to you too, y'know. Yes, well. Again, I remind you that I am better at dispensing advice than taking it. > Actually, I have some things I need to talk to you about and it might be better to do it in private. Maybe you can pick up the food and bring it back here? Certainly, I'm more than happy to do that, if it's what you'd prefer. You do have me rather curious about what it is that requires such secrecy. > > Oh, I hadn't thought about that. Have you discovered anything so far? Things that you used to like that you no longer seem to care for, that sort of thing? Cordelia liked the biryani, either chicken or vegetable. She wasn't fond of lamb. > I'll leave the food selection up to you. Then I'll *get* a selection, and we'll see where your preferences lie. > > Oh. Angel's been telling you his side of the story, has he? I'd like to think that it didn't differ too much from my version, as I did try to be as fair as possible. > We can discuss it at lunch. There's some things that shouldn't be said in an email. All right. I can certainly respect the desire to be discreet. > > You needn't, if you'd prefer not to. We can talk about anything you like. > I'll be glad to share the story about the bachelor party from hell. I'll be sure to remind you that I want to hear it. > > If you want to change the subject at any time, I completely understand. > It's okay. I want to remember Cordelia and that involves sharing the memories. At least we know that she's safe, and relatively happy. She chose her path. It's more than many people can do. > > You haven't contacted her yet? Not that you should do so until you're ready, of course. It must be rather intimidating. > It was a bit of a leap of faith that first email, but yeah I've contacted her now. She's... It's good. We're talking like we did in the old days. I'm glad. And she's comfortable with the situation? > > Thank you. It would be reassuring to know, assuming, of course, there's anything reassuring about his feelings. > He cares, Wesley. Above all else you have to remember that. He respects you and thinks you're smart and dedicated and that you'll always do what you think is right. The rest... we'll talk about at lunch, okay? Just remember that Angel does care about you. And so do I. All right. I'll do my best not to work myself into knots about it all before then, shall I? I'll see you in a little while. - Wesley __________ To: Angel From: Doyle Hi Angel, > > > Depends on who things are wrong for. Because yeah, I could see you keeping quiet about something that was bothering you if you thought it'd upset me or something. > > I wouldn't do that. And even if I did, when haven't you been able to see through me? > You're not as transparent as you think, you know. Especially not... now. Oh. The whole wrong person in the wrong body throwing you off? > > > A little too good for sleeping maybe. You'll have to wear me out every night if you want to do that. > > Like we haven't been doing that regardless. :-) > Well yeah, but we might not keep up to this pace. Is that a challenge? >;-) > > > I'm not going to. I'm gonna be here no matter what. > > You do know I'm going to hold ya to that, right? > You won't have to. I'm not going anywhere. Good. > > You haven't made any mistakes in the bedroom yet. > Good to know. I mean, I'm not saying I have no idea what I'm doing... I've been around long enough that I like to think I know my way around a... well, woman's body. But still, different people have different taste. In bed. Yeah. And this is involving me learning a whole new menu of tastes. And I'm not talking about pizza. > > > I don't do it for the thanks. > > Just the warm satisfaction of helping me acquire knowledge? > Exactly. Plus I like that breathy little moan thing you do. What breathy little moan thing? > > > What's with the purple, anyway? Are you some kind of color fetishist? > > It was the first outrageous colour that popped into my head when I needed a threat for you. > I can't say it didn't work, but geez. Get over it. Joke's not funny the millionth time around, you know? I wasn't the one who brought it up this time, remember. > Um, I'm kidding. About the joking thing, not the hair. Uh huh. > Kind of. Uh huh. > > This is the first step to both of you being able to come to terms with what happened and forgiving each other. > Yeah. We'll see. It'll work out okay, Angel. I promise. > > > No, I know. It's just a lot to take in. > > Yeah, it is. But I'm hoping the fact that this will make his feelings make sense will help it sink in. > I'm hoping too. I emailed him, asking if we could eat at the hotel so we could talk in private. > > > Well okay, I am, but not about what you're going to do. > > Just that it's going to be done, huh? > Yeah. You'll let me know? As soon as it's done, I mean. I will. I can email... or would you like me to call you? > > > And... if you get there, to lunch, and it's too hard to do it, I'll understand that too. > > I'm not going to back out, Angel. I promise. > You don't have to. Promise. But thanks. I'll do anything I can to help the two of you. > Love you. No matter what. Yeah. Love you too. Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Angel Hi Doyle. > > > And even if I did, when haven't you been able to see through me? > > You're not as transparent as you think, you know. Especially not... now. > Oh. The whole wrong person in the wrong body throwing you off? No. Actually, that was my whole point. You're easier to read now. Cordy's face is pretty expressive, even with you in charge of it. > > > > A little too good for sleeping maybe. You'll have to wear me out every night if you want to do that. > > > Like we haven't been doing that regardless. :-) > > Well yeah, but we might not keep up to this pace. > Is that a challenge? >;-) Um... it wasn't, but you can consider it one if you want to. Could be fun. > > Good to know. I mean, I'm not saying I have no idea what I'm doing... I've been around long enough that I like to think I know my way around a... well, woman's body. But still, different people have different taste. In bed. > Yeah. And this is involving me learning a whole new menu of tastes. And I'm not talking about pizza. Uh huh. Well, like I said, we can play around as much as you want to. If it ever goes too far, you just say the word. > > Plus I like that breathy little moan thing you do. > What breathy little moan thing? You know, that thing. When you're getting all worked up, and you start sounding like you're so fucking turned on you can't stand it. Makes me crazy. > > I can't say it didn't work, but geez. Get over it. Joke's not funny the millionth time around, you know? > I wasn't the one who brought it up this time, remember. Oh. Um, okay, fair enough. > > Um, I'm kidding. About the joking thing, not the hair. > Uh huh. > > Kind of. > Uh huh. You really like torturing me, don't you. > > > This is the first step to both of you being able to come to terms with what happened and forgiving each other. > > Yeah. We'll see. > It'll work out okay, Angel. I promise. Don't promise. Not because I don't trust you, just because it's not the kind of thing you can make promises about. > I emailed him, asking if we could eat at the hotel so we could talk in private. Good idea. Not the kind of thing you want to hear about in the middle of a restaurant. > > You'll let me know? As soon as it's done, I mean. > I will. I can email... or would you like me to call you? Either one's fine. Good luck. I hope he takes it okay. I hope it's not too bad. Thanks, Doyle. - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Doyle Hi Angel, > > The whole wrong person in the wrong body throwing you off? > No. Actually, that was my whole point. You're easier to read now. Cordy's face is pretty expressive, even with you in charge of it. I'm a pretty expressive kinda person. > > > > > A little too good for sleeping maybe. You'll have to wear me out every night if you want to do that. > > > > Like we haven't been doing that regardless. :-) > > > Well yeah, but we might not keep up to this pace. > > Is that a challenge? >;-) > Um... it wasn't, but you can consider it one if you want to. Could be fun. I'm sure it will be. Having you touch me is... I'm not sure I've words to properly describe it. But fun would be in there somewhere. > > > Good to know. I mean, I'm not saying I have no idea what I'm doing... I've been around long enough that I like to think I know my way around a... well, woman's body. But still, different people have different taste. In bed. > > Yeah. And this is involving me learning a whole new menu of tastes. And I'm not talking about pizza. > Uh huh. Well, like I said, we can play around as much as you want to. If it ever goes too far, you just say the word. I will. Of course I will. Though the way you get so into me when we're together, wouldn't surprise me if you knew before I did. > > > Plus I like that breathy little moan thing you do. > > What breathy little moan thing? > You know, that thing. When you're getting all worked up, and you start sounding like you're so fucking turned on you can't stand it. Makes me crazy. You'll have to point it out to me tonight. Just so I know what sound you're referring to. > > > Um, I'm kidding. About the joking thing, not the hair. > > Uh huh. > > > Kind of. > > Uh huh. > You really like torturing me, don't you. Yeah, pretty much. Love you. > > It'll work out okay, Angel. I promise. > Don't promise. Not because I don't trust you, just because it's not the kind of thing you can make promises about. I'm going to do everything in my power to keep that promise I'm not making, then. > > I emailed him, asking if we could eat at the hotel so we could talk in private. > Good idea. Not the kind of thing you want to hear about in the middle of a restaurant. I want him to feel comfortable enough to have whatever reaction he wants and not worrying about frightening the waiter. > > > You'll let me know? As soon as it's done, I mean. > > I will. I can email... or would you like me to call you? > Either one's fine. I'll call. Somehow I think you might want to hear my voice. > Good luck. I hope he takes it okay. I hope it's not too bad. He's here now, so I have to go. I'll break it as gently as I can. > Thanks, Doyle. Any time, Angel. You know that. Doyle Next Part Main Page Send Feedback