All the Wrong Places - Part 26 To: Wesley From: Angel Hi Wesley. Sorry I haven't checked in before now -- Doyle kept saying that I should give it a few days, kind of try to go cold turkey on the being in touch with the office thing, so I tried. Hey, almost three days, that's pretty good, right? And anyway, you know how to find me if anything comes up. Things are good. We're spending a lot of time in bed... um, by which I meant sleeping. Honest. Doyle read some article that said it can take days to catch up on lost sleep, and there's something about being here that makes it easier to sleep. Maybe it's the fresh air, or just knowing that I don't have anywhere in particular to be. It's... kind of soothing. How are things at the office? You okay? - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Wes Hello Angel, > Sorry I haven't checked in before now -- Doyle kept saying that I should give it a few days, kind of try to go cold turkey on the being in touch with the office thing, so I tried. Hey, almost three days, that's pretty good, right? And anyway, you know how to find me if anything comes up. I do. But nothing's come up that I haven't been able to handle. > Things are good. We're spending a lot of time in bed... um, by which I meant sleeping. Honest. Doyle read some article that said it can take days to catch up on lost sleep, and there's something about being here that makes it easier to sleep. Maybe it's the fresh air, or just knowing that I don't have anywhere in particular to be. It's... kind of soothing. That's good. That's part of what vacations are supposed to be about. Or so I've been told. I think I have nearly as little experience with them as you do. > How are things at the office? You okay? Things are fine. Nothing big has come up, just the usual day to day stuff. I've been able to handle it all, so you don't have to worry. Have a good time, Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Doyle Hi Wes Just thought I'd drop a quick line to make sure you're doing okay with everything since I dragged Angel off on vacation -- or he dragged me, there's a bit of an argument over that point. Not working too hard? Vacation's going good. This place is ridiculously luxurious -- seems to be some advantages to working for a formerly evil law firm -- or sleeping with a formerly evil law firm's CEO. You get all those money is no object perks. And wonder of wonders, I've actually seemed to have got Angel to loosen up and enjoy himself some. Took some fast talking at first, had to make up some studies and magazine articles to back up my points, but I think I might actually be succeeding in getting him to relax. Which probably is a sign of impending apocalypse but nowadays, what isn't? I'm doing okay myself though there's nothing that drives home the fact of the whole body change like wearing a bikini. Being *naked* doesn't feel as girlie (womanly?) as wearing a bikini. Haven't actually made it out in public in it yet, just by the private pool where we're staying so at least the only staring I've had to deal with is Angel's. And my own when I look in the mirror, but that's a whole different thing. Speaking of Angel, I hear him calling, something about a gourmet dinner so I better go. I'll keep you posted. Don't work too hard. :) Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Wesley Hello Doyle. > Just thought I'd drop a quick line to make sure you're doing okay with everything since I dragged Angel off on vacation -- or he dragged me, there's a bit of an argument over that point. Not working too hard? No, not at all. Everything's under control. > Vacation's going good. This place is ridiculously luxurious -- seems to be some advantages to working for a formerly evil law firm -- or sleeping with a formerly evil law firm's CEO. You get all those money is no object perks. And wonder of wonders, I've actually seemed to have got Angel to loosen up and enjoy himself some. Took some fast talking at first, had to make up some studies and magazine articles to back up my points, but I think I might actually be succeeding in getting him to relax. I'm glad you're enjoying yourselves. > Which probably is a sign of impending apocalypse but nowadays, what isn't? I'm doing okay myself though there's nothing that drives home the fact of the whole body change like wearing a bikini. Being *naked* doesn't feel as girlie (womanly?) as wearing a bikini. Haven't actually made it out in public in it yet, just by the private pool where we're staying so at least the only staring I've had to deal with is Angel's. And my own when I look in the mirror, but that's a whole different thing. I'm sure it's a very big adjustment, but I have faith in your ability to make it. > Speaking of Angel, I hear him calling, something about a gourmet dinner so I better go. I'll keep you posted. Don't work too hard. :) I won't -- so far everything has been very day to day. Please make sure that Angel knows I'm taking care of everything. Have a good time. - Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi Wesley. > > Sorry I haven't checked in before now -- Doyle kept saying that I should give it a few days, kind of try to go cold turkey on the being in touch with the office thing, so I tried. Hey, almost three days, that's pretty good, right? And anyway, you know how to find me if anything comes up. > I do. But nothing's come up that I haven't been able to handle. Oh, I know. I wouldn't have left you in charge if I didn't think you could handle it. And I really, really appreciate your being willing to take over so that I could get away. It means a lot to Doyle. To me, too. > > Things are good. We're spending a lot of time in bed... um, by which I meant sleeping. Honest. Doyle read some article that said it can take days to catch up on lost sleep, and there's something about being here that makes it easier to sleep. Maybe it's the fresh air, or just knowing that I don't have anywhere in particular to be. It's... kind of soothing. > That's good. That's part of what vacations are supposed to be about. Or so I've been told. I think I have nearly as little experience with them as you do. We'll have to do something about that. Maybe you can take one when Doyle and I get back? You could even borrow the jet so you don't have to deal with the regular airport stuff. What do you think? > > How are things at the office? You okay? > Things are fine. Nothing big has come up, just the usual day to day stuff. I've been able to handle it all, so you don't have to worry. I'm not worried. And you didn't answer the second question... how are *you*? - Angel __________ To: Angel From Wesley Hello Angel, > > I do. But nothing's come up that I haven't been able to handle. > Oh, I know. I wouldn't have left you in charge if I didn't think you could handle it. And I really, really appreciate your being willing to take over so that I could get away. It means a lot to Doyle. To me, too. You both deserve a break. I am glad to be able to help. > > That's good. That's part of what vacations are supposed to be about. Or so I've been told. I think I have nearly as little experience with them as you do. > We'll have to do something about that. Maybe you can take one when Doyle and I get back? You could even borrow the jet so you don't have to deal with the regular airport stuff. What do you think? I think I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Besides, I think it would be rather... lonely. > I'm not worried. And you didn't answer the second question... how are *you*? I'm fine. Truly. Just... never mind. It's not important. You concentrate on your vacation. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi Wes. > > Oh, I know. I wouldn't have left you in charge if I didn't think you could handle it. And I really, really appreciate your being willing to take over so that I could get away. It means a lot to Doyle. To me, too. > You both deserve a break. I am glad to be able to help. Well, once we get back we'll figure out something so that you can have a break too. You deserve one just as much. > > We'll have to do something about that. Maybe you can take one when Doyle and I get back? You could even borrow the jet so you don't have to deal with the regular airport stuff. What do you think? > I think I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Besides, I think it would be rather... lonely. You could take someone with you. What about Gunn? > > I'm not worried. And you didn't answer the second question... how are *you*? > I'm fine. Truly. Just... never mind. It's not important. You concentrate on your vacation. If there's something wrong, it's important to me. Tell me? - Angel __________ To: Wesley From: Doyle Hi Wes > > Not working too hard? > No, not at all. Everything's under control. Good to hear. It took me a couple of days to convince Angel that the world hadn't started to end the second he stepped on the jet. Not that he doesn't trust you to handle everything; he just sometimes has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. As I'm sure you've noticed. > I'm glad you're enjoying yourselves. We are. I think this is something we both needed -- a chance to get away from everything so we could adjust to... everything. Also, there's fewer places for Angel to run to. > > I'm doing okay myself though there's nothing that drives home the fact of the whole body change like wearing a bikini. Being *naked* doesn't feel as girlie (womanly?) as wearing a bikini. Haven't actually made it out in public in it yet, just by the private pool where we're staying so at least the only staring I've had to deal with is Angel's. And my own when I look in the mirror, but that's a whole different thing. > I'm sure it's a very big adjustment, but I have faith in your ability to make it. I'm hanging in there. > > Speaking of Angel, I hear him calling, something about a gourmet dinner so I better go. I'll keep you posted. Don't work too hard. :) > I won't -- so far everything has been very day to day. Please make sure that Angel knows I'm taking care of everything. He knows, Wesley. There was no way he would've budged from that building if he didn't have complete confidence in you. > Have a good time. So far, so good. Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Wesley Hello Doyle. > > > Not working too hard? > > No, not at all. Everything's under control. > Good to hear. It took me a couple of days to convince Angel that the world hadn't started to end the second he stepped on the jet. Not that he doesn't trust you to handle everything; he just sometimes has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. As I'm sure you've noticed. He really does deserve this vacation. You'll have to do your best to distract him. > > I'm glad you're enjoying yourselves. > We are. I think this is something we both needed -- a chance to get away from everything so we could adjust to... everything. Also, there's fewer places for Angel to run to. I'm sure that's an enormous benefit. > > I'm sure it's a very big adjustment, but I have faith in your ability to make it. > I'm hanging in there. Good. I'm sure there's not much I can do to help, but remember that I'm willing if you can think of anything. > > I won't -- so far everything has been very day to day. Please make sure that Angel knows I'm taking care of everything. > He knows, Wesley. There was no way he would've budged from that building if he didn't have complete confidence in you. Do me a favor? Reassure him that I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about. Thank you. - Wesley __________ To Angel From Wesley > > You both deserve a break. I am glad to be able to help. > Well, once we get back we'll figure out something so that you can have a break too. You deserve one just as much. Somehow I am fairly sure any such break would not be as... rejuvenating as yours and Doyle's. > > > We'll have to do something about that. Maybe you can take one when Doyle and I get back? You could even borrow the jet so you don't have to deal with the regular airport stuff. What do you think? > > I think I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Besides, I think it would be rather... lonely. > You could take someone with you. What about Gunn? I doubt he would be much enthused about going away with me. Friends though we may be, I am very much not his type. > > I'm fine. Truly. Just... never mind. It's not important. You concentrate on your vacation. > If there's something wrong, it's important to me. Tell me? It's nothing serious, really. Just... I miss you. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi Wes. > > Well, once we get back we'll figure out something so that you can have a break too. You deserve one just as much. > Somehow I am fairly sure any such break would not be as... rejuvenating as yours and Doyle's. There must be something. We'll figure it out. > > > I think I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Besides, I think it would be rather... lonely. > > You could take someone with you. What about Gunn? > I doubt he would be much enthused about going away with me. Friends though we may be, I am very much not his type. You guys used to hang out and do stuff though. Maybe you're not giving him the benefit of the doubt? Besides, it's not like you have to *do* anything on vacation. Doyle's teaching me that. Half the time we just sit around and don't do anything at all. > > > I'm fine. Truly. Just... never mind. It's not important. You concentrate on your vacation. > > If there's something wrong, it's important to me. Tell me? > It's nothing serious, really. Just... I miss you. Oh. Yeah -- I miss you too. I've been trying not to think about it, because, you know, I kind of thought you were probably glad to get some space. From me. I know there's a lot of stuff to work through still... - Angel __________ To Wesley From Doyle Hi Wes > > Good to hear. It took me a couple of days to convince Angel that the world hadn't started to end the second he stepped on the jet. Not that he doesn't trust you to handle everything; he just sometimes has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. As I'm sure you've noticed. > He really does deserve this vacation. You'll have to do your best to distract him. Oh believe me I am. And my best, if I may say so myself, is turning out to be very, very good. And sometimes it even involves things that I could talk about in mixed company. ;) > > Also, there's fewer places for Angel to run to. > I'm sure that's an enormous benefit. From my point of view it is. He's actually complained about it though. I think he even pouted. Not that he'd ever admit to that. Pouting I mean. Apparently 250 year old vampires with souls don't pout. I guess that when you can't see yourself in a mirror, you can sell yourself those kinds of delusions. > > I'm hanging in there. > Good. I'm sure there's not much I can do to help, but remember that I'm willing if you can think of anything. I know. That means a lot, Wes. I hope you know that. > Do me a favor? Reassure him that I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about. I will. But while I'm doing that, you want to tell me why Angel thinks that he needs to worry? Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Wesley Hello Doyle. > > He really does deserve this vacation. You'll have to do your best to distract him. > Oh believe me I am. And my best, if I may say so myself, is turning out to be very, very good. And sometimes it even involves things that I could talk about in mixed company. ;) Yes, I'm sure. Angel mentioned something about sitting about doing nothing, so unless his definition of the word 'nothing' is vastly different than mine, I'd assume you could share tales of your sitting about with anyone you cared to. You've been very good for him -- I can see it. > From my point of view it is. He's actually complained about it though. I think he even pouted. Not that he'd ever admit to that. Pouting I mean. Apparently 250 year old vampires with souls don't pout. I guess that when you can't see yourself in a mirror, you can sell yourself those kinds of delusions. I suppose that's true. > > Do me a favor? Reassure him that I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about. > I will. But while I'm doing that, you want to tell me why Angel thinks that he needs to worry? It's... difficult. I hadn't realized until the two of you left how hard it must have been on Angel, being the only one who knew the truth of what had really happened. The only one who remembered... But I'm fine. I've just gained a new perspective. Take care. - Wesley __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel, > > > Well, once we get back we'll figure out something so that you can have a break too. You deserve one just as much. > > Somehow I am fairly sure any such break would not be as... rejuvenating as yours and Doyle's. > There must be something. We'll figure it out. Really, at the moment I'm not sure I would know what to do with more time off than it takes for an evening of beer and darts at the pub. > > > You could take someone with you. What about Gunn? > > I doubt he would be much enthused about going away with me. Friends though we may be, I am very much not his type. > You guys used to hang out and do stuff though. Maybe you're not giving him the benefit of the doubt? Generally though, you do not ask someone with whom you "hang out and do stuff" to go away with you. Usually it is someone with whom you do significantly more intimate things. Gunn and I are indeed friends, which is why I am fairly certain that the thought of doing those kinds of things with me has never once crossed his mind. > Besides, it's not like you have to *do* anything on vacation. Doyle's teaching me that. Half the time we just sit around and don't do anything at all. I'm assuming this isn't in a dark room somewhere because that then would sound very much like brooding. > > > If there's something wrong, it's important to me. Tell me? > > It's nothing serious, really. Just... I miss you. > Oh. Yeah -- I miss you too. I've been trying not to think about it, because, you know, I kind of thought you were probably glad to get some space. From me. I know there's a lot of stuff to work through still... There is, yes. But I find I've had my fill of space for now and would rather work on working stuff out. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi Wesley. > > > Somehow I am fairly sure any such break would not be as... rejuvenating as yours and Doyle's. > > There must be something. We'll figure it out. > Really, at the moment I'm not sure I would know what to do with more time off than it takes for an evening of beer and darts at the pub. Well we could do that, right? Once me and Doyle get back, I mean. As long as you don't mind that I suck at darts. > > You guys used to hang out and do stuff though. Maybe you're not giving him the benefit of the doubt? > Generally though, you do not ask someone with whom you "hang out and do stuff" to go away with you. Usually it is someone with whom you do significantly more intimate things. Gunn and I are indeed friends, which is why I am fairly certain that the thought of doing those kinds of things with me has never once crossed his mind. Okay, fair enough. What if a bunch of us went away for a weekend or something? > > Besides, it's not like you have to *do* anything on vacation. Doyle's teaching me that. Half the time we just sit around and don't do anything at all. > I'm assuming this isn't in a dark room somewhere because that then would sound very much like brooding. No, no dark rooms. Well, unless you count the whole no-sunshine thing. Which I feel kind of guilty about actually -- depriving Doyle of it, I mean. He should be able to spend afternoons by the pool, but instead he's in the house with me until after the sun sets. Don't get me wrong, I've tried convincing him that it's okay with me if we're not always, you know, in the same room or whatever, but he says that's what this vacation is for. Still, maybe when we get back you and he can do some normal stuff. Non-vampire stuff. > > Yeah -- I miss you too. I've been trying not to think about it, because, you know, I kind of thought you were probably glad to get some space. From me. I know there's a lot of stuff to work through still... > There is, yes. But I find I've had my fill of space for now and would rather work on working stuff out. I get that. So... should we talk about something? One of those things we need to work on, I mean? - Angel __________ To Wesley From Doyle Hi Wes, > > Oh believe me I am. And my best, if I may say so myself, is turning out to be very, very good. And sometimes it even involves things that I could talk about in mixed company. ;) > Yes, I'm sure. Angel mentioned something about sitting about doing nothing, so unless his definition of the word 'nothing' is vastly different than mine, I'd assume you could share tales of your sitting about with anyone you cared to. Well some of them maybe. Depends on where and how we're sitting. As well as how much we're wearing -- or not -- at any given time. > You've been very good for him -- I can see it. Thanks. I hope so. I think so most of the time, but a guy wonders occasionally. I suppose that should be "a girl wonders," huh? > > Apparently 250 year old vampires with souls don't pout. I guess that when you can't see yourself in a mirror, you can sell yourself those kinds of delusions. > I suppose that's true. It would certainly explain the hair. > It's... difficult. I hadn't realized until the two of you left how hard it must have been on Angel, being the only one who knew the truth of what had really happened. The only one who remembered... Ah. Well you know you can talk to me about that -- or anything -- whenever you need to. Just because we're on vacation doesn't mean we're out of touch. This email being a case in point. > But I'm fine. I've just gained a new perspective. Those can be quite vertigo inducing I've found at times. I'm here if you want to talk. Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Wesley Hello Doyle. > > Yes, I'm sure. Angel mentioned something about sitting about doing nothing, so unless his definition of the word 'nothing' is vastly different than mine, I'd assume you could share tales of your sitting about with anyone you cared to. > Well some of them maybe. Depends on where and how we're sitting. As well as how much we're wearing -- or not -- at any given time. That might be getting into a bit more detail than I care to have you share. Not what you've just said, you understand, but... what you're hinting at. Just to let you know. > > You've been very good for him -- I can see it. > Thanks. I hope so. I think so most of the time, but a guy wonders occasionally. I suppose that should be "a girl wonders," huh? You can define your gender however you choose -- it's entirely up to you. I know that Angel and I, at the very least, will respect whatever decision you make. > > > I guess that when you can't see yourself in a mirror, you can sell yourself those kinds of delusions. > > I suppose that's true. > It would certainly explain the hair. Yes, very funny. Really. I'm smiling. > > It's... difficult. I hadn't realized until the two of you left how hard it must have been on Angel, being the only one who knew the truth of what had really happened. The only one who remembered... > Ah. Well you know you can talk to me about that -- or anything -- whenever you need to. Just because we're on vacation doesn't mean we're out of touch. This email being a case in point. I know. Angel and I are talking as well, and it's not as if you're going to be gone forever. > > But I'm fine. I've just gained a new perspective. > Those can be quite vertigo inducing I've found at times. I'm here if you want to talk. Thank you. I appreciate that. I just don't know what to say. - Wesley __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel, > > Really, at the moment I'm not sure I would know what to do with more time off than it takes for an evening of beer and darts at the pub. > Well we could do that, right? Once me and Doyle get back, I mean. As long as you don't mind that I suck at darts. I would like that. Sucking at darts isn't an issue -- I'll just make sure we play for money. > Okay, fair enough. What if a bunch of us went away for a weekend or something? With our track record trying to do things as a group, we'd probably be attacked by a ravening horde of demons. It's a nice thought however. The going away, not the ravening hordes. > No, no dark rooms. Well, unless you count the whole no-sunshine thing. Which I feel kind of guilty about actually -- depriving Doyle of it, I mean. He should be able to spend afternoons by the pool, but instead he's in the house with me until after the sun sets. Don't get me wrong, I've tried convincing him that it's okay with me if we're not always, you know, in the same room or whatever, but he says that's what this vacation is for. I think that has less to do with your vampire status and more to do with the newness of your relationship. Many couples don't get out of their rooms much the first time they go away together. > Still, maybe when we get back you and he can do some normal stuff. Non-vampire stuff. I'd like that. And I promise, I won't take him out for a drink of blood. > > There is, yes. But I find I've had my fill of space for now and would rather work on working stuff out. > I get that. So... should we talk about something? One of those things we need to work on, I mean? I don't know. Do we? I just... I like that we're talking again. Really talking and not... what we've been doing for months. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi Wes. > > > Really, at the moment I'm not sure I would know what to do with more time off than it takes for an evening of beer and darts at the pub. > > Well we could do that, right? Once me and Doyle get back, I mean. As long as you don't mind that I suck at darts. > I would like that. Sucking at darts isn't an issue -- I'll just make sure we play for money. Oh sure. Take advantage of my weaknesses. Besides, how do you know I'm not just SAYING that I suck at darts? > > Okay, fair enough. What if a bunch of us went away for a weekend or something? > With our track record trying to do things as a group, we'd probably be attacked by a ravening horde of demons. It's a nice thought however. The going away, not the ravening hordes. I don't think ravening hordes are ever a nice thought. Well, unless you're part of the horde I guess. We can talk about it when we get back -- where we might want to go, I mean. Might take a couple of months to come up with a consensus. > > No, no dark rooms. Well, unless you count the whole no-sunshine thing. Which I feel kind of guilty about actually -- depriving Doyle of it, I mean. He should be able to spend afternoons by the pool, but instead he's in the house with me until after the sun sets. Don't get me wrong, I've tried convincing him that it's okay with me if we're not always, you know, in the same room or whatever, but he says that's what this vacation is for. > I think that has less to do with your vampire status and more to do with the newness of your relationship. Many couples don't get out of their rooms much the first time they go away together. I guess. It's been a long time, and this is the first relationship I've ever had that was, you know, normal. Or kind of normal. And one that might have a chance of working out. > > Still, maybe when we get back you and he can do some normal stuff. Non-vampire stuff. > I'd like that. And I promise, I won't take him out for a drink of blood. Oh good, 'cause I was worrying about that. > > So... should we talk about something? One of those things we need to work on, I mean? > I don't know. Do we? I just... I like that we're talking again. Really talking and not... what we've been doing for months. No, I meant -- maybe we should talk about what happened, you know? Well, I don't mean what *I* did, since we've already talked about that enough from my perspective -- although if you wanted or needed to talk about it more, that would be okay with me -- I mean, what really happened. The stuff that I had you forget. Do you have good memories from then? From before it all went to hell, I mean? - Angel __________ To Wesley From Doyle Hi Wes, > > Well some of them maybe. Depends on where and how we're sitting. As well as how much we're wearing -- or not -- at any given time. > That might be getting into a bit more detail than I care to have you share. Not what you've just said, you understand, but... what you're hinting at. Just to let you know. Oh I wasn't going to go into any more detail. Well, not unless you asked. ;-) > You can define your gender however you choose -- it's entirely up to you. I know that Angel and I, at the very least, will respect whatever decision you make. Thanks. It might be a bit disconcerting, but I still think of myself as "he". Least for now anyway. Maybe I'll grow into thinking of myself as a woman. Ya never know. > > It would certainly explain the hair. > Yes, very funny. Really. I'm smiling. Good. You should do a lot more of that. > > Ah. Well you know you can talk to me about that -- or anything -- whenever you need to. Just because we're on vacation doesn't mean we're out of touch. This email being a case in point. > I know. Angel and I are talking as well, and it's not as if you're going to be gone forever. Nope. I expect that Angel'll start fidgeting about going too long without fighting evil any day now. > > I'm here if you want to talk. > Thank you. I appreciate that. I just don't know what to say. How 'bout the first thing that pops into your head? Doyle _________ To: Doyle From: Wesley Hello Doyle. > > > Well some of them maybe. Depends on where and how we're sitting. As well as how much we're wearing -- or not -- at any given time. > > That might be getting into a bit more detail than I care to have you share. Not what you've just said, you understand, but... what you're hinting at. Just to let you know. > Oh I wasn't going to go into any more detail. Well, not unless you asked. ;-) I don't think that's likely to happen. I don't mean any offense, but... I just don't think it will. > > You can define your gender however you choose -- it's entirely up to you. I know that Angel and I, at the very least, will respect whatever decision you make. > Thanks. It might be a bit disconcerting, but I still think of myself as "he". Least for now anyway. Maybe I'll grow into thinking of myself as a woman. Ya never know. People are able to make remarkable adjustments... it's certainly within the realm of possibility. On the other hand, you did build your identity from the moment of birth, and it's also possible that it might not be quite that mutable at this point. There, aren't I helpful? > > > It would certainly explain the hair. > > Yes, very funny. Really. I'm smiling. > Good. You should do a lot more of that. I'll try. > > I know. Angel and I are talking as well, and it's not as if you're going to be gone forever. > Nope. I expect that Angel'll start fidgeting about going too long without fighting evil any day now. Is he really enjoying himself, do you think? Or is the concept of a vacation rather wasted on him? > > > I'm here if you want to talk. > > Thank you. I appreciate that. I just don't know what to say. > How 'bout the first thing that pops into your head? I suspect that's the last thing you want to hear. - Wesley __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel, > > Sucking at darts isn't an issue -- I'll just make sure we play for money. > Oh sure. Take advantage of my weaknesses. I've found I have to take my victories where I can find them. > Besides, how do you know I'm not just SAYING that I suck at darts? Then you shouldn't be trying to talk me out of playing for money. > > > Okay, fair enough. What if a bunch of us went away for a weekend or something? > > With our track record trying to do things as a group, we'd probably be attacked by a ravening horde of demons. It's a nice thought however. The going away, not the ravening hordes. > I don't think ravening hordes are ever a nice thought. Well, unless you're part of the horde I guess. Having never been part of a horde, I will have to take your word for it. > We can talk about it when we get back -- where we might want to go, I mean. Might take a couple of months to come up with a consensus. We probably should try something less ambitious first there as well. Perhaps trying to get everyone together to go out for a drink. Maybe you'll find someone who's worse at darts than you. > > I think that has less to do with your vampire status and more to do with the newness of your relationship. Many couples don't get out of their rooms much the first time they go away together. > I guess. It's been a long time, and this is the first relationship I've ever had that was, you know, normal. Or kind of normal. And one that might have a chance of working out. I'm happy for you -- and Doyle. Truly. > > > Still, maybe when we get back you and he can do some normal stuff. Non-vampire stuff. > > I'd like that. And I promise, I won't take him out for a drink of blood. > Oh good, 'cause I was worrying about that. Well I'm not exactly sure what else would qualify as "vampire stuff". Aside from perhaps bursting into flame in sunlight -- I promise Doyle and I won't be indulging in that either. > No, I meant -- maybe we should talk about what happened, you know? Well, I don't mean what *I* did, since we've already talked about that enough from my perspective -- although if you wanted or needed to talk about it more, that would be okay with me -- I mean, what really happened. The stuff that I had you forget. Do you have good memories from then? From before it all went to hell, I mean? I remember you with Connor when he was a baby, how happy you were. It was good to see you like that. And how we all felt... well, like a family. I miss that feeling. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi Wes. > > > Sucking at darts isn't an issue -- I'll just make sure we play for money. > > Oh sure. Take advantage of my weaknesses. > I've found I have to take my victories where I can find them. Well, fine then. We'll play darts and you'll win all my money. But then I'll make you buy me beer. Either way, I figure I come out ahead. > > Besides, how do you know I'm not just SAYING that I suck at darts? > Then you shouldn't be trying to talk me out of playing for money. Yeah, you got me. Not only do I suck at darts, I also suck at bluffing. > > > With our track record trying to do things as a group, we'd probably be attacked by a ravening horde of demons. It's a nice thought however. The going away, not the ravening hordes. > > I don't think ravening hordes are ever a nice thought. Well, unless you're part of the horde I guess. > Having never been part of a horde, I will have to take your word for it. You can't imagine it? Um, okay, maybe you just don't want to. > > We can talk about it when we get back -- where we might want to go, I mean. Might take a couple of months to come up with a consensus. > We probably should try something less ambitious first there as well. Perhaps trying to get everyone together to go out for a drink. Maybe you'll find someone who's worse at darts than you. Sounds good. All of it. > > I guess. It's been a long time, and this is the first relationship I've ever had that was, you know, normal. Or kind of normal. And one that might have a chance of working out. > I'm happy for you -- and Doyle. Truly. Thanks, Wes. That means a lot. > > > I'd like that. And I promise, I won't take him out for a drink of blood. > > Oh good, 'cause I was worrying about that. > Well I'm not exactly sure what else would qualify as "vampire stuff". Aside from perhaps bursting into flame in sunlight -- I promise Doyle and I won't be indulging in that either. I just meant, you know... normal stuff. Like going out during daylight hours, for one. I don't think it's good for humans to live on a vampire's schedule. > > No, I meant -- maybe we should talk about what happened, you know? Well, I don't mean what *I* did, since we've already talked about that enough from my perspective -- although if you wanted or needed to talk about it more, that would be okay with me -- I mean, what really happened. The stuff that I had you forget. Do you have good memories from then? From before it all went to hell, I mean? > I remember you with Connor when he was a baby, how happy you were. It was good to see you like that. And how we all felt... well, like a family. I miss that feeling. Me too. Do you think we could get it back? Without the Connor part, I mean, since obviously that's never going to happen again. - Angel __________ To: Wesley From Doyle Hi Wes > > > > Well some of them maybe. Depends on where and how we're sitting. As well as how much we're wearing -- or not -- at any given time. > > > That might be getting into a bit more detail than I care to have you share. Not what you've just said, you understand, but... what you're hinting at. Just to let you know. > > Oh I wasn't going to go into any more detail. Well, not unless you asked. ;-) > I don't think that's likely to happen. I don't mean any offense, but... I just don't think it will. Y'know, I was pretty sure that was going to be the answer. But if your curiosity ever gets the better of you... Though part of me is used to being a bit more discreet about details, to protect the woman's honour, y'know, doing the chivalrous thing. But since I'm the woman this time and the details don't feel like they impinge on my honour, I guess the old rules don't apply. But still, only to those who want to hear it. > > Thanks. It might be a bit disconcerting, but I still think of myself as "he". Least for now anyway. Maybe I'll grow into thinking of myself as a woman. Ya never know. > People are able to make remarkable adjustments... it's certainly within the realm of possibility. On the other hand, you did build your identity from the moment of birth, and it's also possible that it might not be quite that mutable at his point. I also from the moment of birth had built my identity as a human being and then when I was 21 got that all shot to hell. So it's not like reworking an identity is totally new to me. Just hope I do a better job with it this time than I did then. > There, aren't I helpful? Yeah, you are. It's nice to have someone to talk to this all about who doesn't freak on me. > > > > It would certainly explain the hair. > > > Yes, very funny. Really. I'm smiling. > > Good. You should do a lot more of that. > I'll try. Anything I can do to help that along? I'm sure Angel would forgive me dying his hair purple if it's in such a worthy cause. > > Nope. I expect that Angel'll start fidgeting about going too long without fighting evil any day now. > Is he really enjoying himself, do you think? Or is the concept of a vacation rather wasted on him? He does seem to be enjoying himself. Every now and then he does get that "Shouldn't I be brooding?" look but so far I've been able to distract him. > > > > I'm here if you want to talk. > > > Thank you. I appreciate that. I just don't know what to say. > > How 'bout the first thing that pops into your head? > I suspect that's the last thing you want to hear. Okay, now you've got me curious. What's the last thing you think I want to hear? Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Wesley Hello Doyle. > > > Oh I wasn't going to go into any more detail. Well, not unless you asked. ;-) > > I don't think that's likely to happen. I don't mean any offense, but... I just don't think it will. > Y'know, I was pretty sure that was going to be the answer. But if your curiosity ever gets the better of you... Though part of me is used to being a bit more discreet about details, to protect the woman's honour, y'know, doing the chivalrous thing. But since I'm the woman this time and the details don't feel like they impinge on my honour, I guess the old rules don't apply. But still, only to those who want to hear it. It's not so much that I don't want to -- which isn't to say that I do. It's more that I'm not sure it's a good idea. > > On the other hand, you did build your identity from the moment of birth, and it's also possible that it might not be quite that mutable at his point. > I also from the moment of birth had built my identity as a human being and then when I was 21 got that all shot to hell. So it's not like reworking an identity is totally new to me. Fair enough. > Just hope I do a better job with it this time than I did then. You seem to be handling it all very well. Better than most people would, I'm sure. > > There, aren't I helpful? > Yeah, you are. It's nice to have someone to talk to this all about who doesn't freak on me. Does Angel 'freak on you'? Or do you try not to talk about it at this point? And... please know that I'd never ask you to reveal anything it would be best for you not to share. > > > > Really. I'm smiling. > > > Good. You should do a lot more of that. > > I'll try. > Anything I can do to help that along? I'm sure Angel would forgive me dying his hair purple if it's in such a worthy cause. That might be a horror-filled sort of smile, which I don't think is quite the look you're going for. > > Is he really enjoying himself, do you think? Or is the concept of a vacation rather wasted on him? > He does seem to be enjoying himself. Every now and then he does get that "Shouldn't I be brooding?" look but so far I've been able to distract him. Good. I think he needed this time away. > > > How 'bout the first thing that pops into your head? > > I suspect that's the last thing you want to hear. > Okay, now you've got me curious. What's the last thing you think I want to hear? That I'm envious of your and Angel's happiness? I know that's a terrible thing to think, let alone to say, but it's there. I'm sorry. - Wesley __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel, > > > > Sucking at darts isn't an issue -- I'll just make sure we play for money. > > > Oh sure. Take advantage of my weaknesses. > > I've found I have to take my victories where I can find them. > Well, fine then. We'll play darts and you'll win all my money. But then I'll make you buy me beer. Either way, I figure I come out ahead. Or we could play for beer if you prefer. > > > Besides, how do you know I'm not just SAYING that I suck at darts? > > Then you shouldn't be trying to talk me out of playing for money. > Yeah, you got me. Not only do I suck at darts, I also suck at bluffing. I've seen you bluff when you have had to. I just have had several years to study how you react and so perhaps have an advantage on figuring out when you are. > > > > It's a nice thought however. The going away, not the ravening hordes. > > > I don't think ravening hordes are ever a nice thought. Well, unless you're part of the horde I guess. > > Having never been part of a horde, I will have to take your word for it. > You can't imagine it? Um, okay, maybe you just don't want to. It's more that as a human I doubt being part of a ravening demon horde would be at all healthy for me. > > We probably should try something less ambitious first there as well. Perhaps trying to get everyone together to go out for a drink. Maybe you'll find someone who's worse at darts than you. > Sounds good. All of it. I'll mention it to the others then. Maybe I'll even see if they'd want to go out for a drink with me now. > > I'm happy for you -- and Doyle. Truly. > Thanks, Wes. That means a lot. You're welcome. > I'd like that. And I promise, I won't take him out for a drink of blood. > > > Oh good, 'cause I was worrying about that. > > Well I'm not exactly sure what else would qualify as "vampire stuff". Aside from perhaps bursting into flame in sunlight -- I promise Doyle and I won't be indulging in that either. > I just meant, you know... normal stuff. Like going out during daylight hours, for one. I don't think it's good for humans to live on a vampire's schedule. Depends on the vampire and the reasons for living on his schedule. I've always considered it worth any sacrifices I've might have had to make. Besides Angel, for a vampire you do live closer to a human schedule than many of your kind. Your schedule is more like... a musician's than a vampire's. > > > Do you have good memories from then? From before it all went to hell, I mean? > > I remember you with Connor when he was a baby, how happy you were. It was good to see you like that. And how we all felt... well, like a family. I miss that feeling. > Me too. Do you think we could get it back? Without the Connor part, I mean, since obviously that's never going to happen again. I think we already are. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi Wes. > > > I've found I have to take my victories where I can find them. > > Well, fine then. We'll play darts and you'll win all my money. But then I'll make you buy me beer. Either way, I figure I come out ahead. > Or we could play for beer if you prefer. That's an idea. I'll bet you're fun when you're drunk. > > Yeah, you got me. Not only do I suck at darts, I also suck at bluffing. > I've seen you bluff when you have had to. I just have had several years to study how you react and so perhaps have an advantage on figuring out when you are. Okay, fair enough. Do you really spend all that much time figuring out how I react to stuff? > > > Having never been part of a horde, I will have to take your word for it. > > You can't imagine it? Um, okay, maybe you just don't want to. > It's more that as a human I doubt being part of a ravening demon horde would be at all healthy for me. What kinds of things WOULD be? Healthy for you, I mean? > > > Maybe you'll find someone who's worse at darts than you. > > Sounds good. All of it. > I'll mention it to the others then. Maybe I'll even see if they'd want to go out for a drink with me now. That sounds like a really good idea. It's good to talk to other people outside the office, you know? I mean, people that you usually see inside the office. > > I just meant, you know... normal stuff. Like going out during daylight hours, for one. I don't think it's good for humans to live on a vampire's schedule. > Depends on the vampire and the reasons for living on his schedule. I've always considered it worth any sacrifices I've might have had to make. Besides Angel, for a vampire you do live closer to a human schedule than many of your kind. Your schedule is more like... a musician's than a vampire's. I know I'm not an all night, all the time kind of vampire anymore, but I still have habits that might be bad for the people who're stuck with me, you know? And I know you've made sacrifices. A lot. And I appreciate it. Didn't you ever feel resentful? > > > And how we all felt... well, like a family. I miss that feeling. > > Me too. Do you think we could get it back? Without the Connor part, I mean, since obviously that's never going to happen again. > I think we already are. You're better with words than I am, I guess, because I'm right back at 'Me too,' again. Okay, Doyle says I'd better go have dinner with him now, so I'll say talk to you later without asking how things are at the office, since I promised Doyle I wasn't going to ask. Take care, Wes. - Angel __________ To Wesley From Doyle Hi Wes! > > > I don't think that's likely to happen. I don't mean any offense, but... I just don't think it will. > > Y'know, I was pretty sure that was going to be the answer. But if your curiosity ever gets the better of you... Though part of me is used to being a bit more discreet about details, to protect the woman's honour, y'know, doing the chivalrous thing. But since I'm the woman this time and the details don't feel like they impinge on my honour, I guess the old rules don't apply. But still, only to those who want to hear it. > It's not so much that I don't want to -- which isn't to say that I do. It's more that I'm not sure it's a good idea. How is it not a good idea? Beyond the obvious of oversharing I mean. > > I also from the moment of birth had built my identity as a human being and then when I was 21 got that all shot to hell. So it's not like reworking an identity is totally new to me. > Fair enough. Who ever thought waking up one morning and finding yourself green with blue spines would actually be considered training? > > Just hope I do a better job with it this time than I did then. > You seem to be handling it all very well. Better than most people would, I'm sure. Considering the alternatives were either being bodiless and stuck in a computer or bodiless and dead, this isn't so bad. Keeping that kind of thought in mind helps put everything into perspective. > > > There, aren't I helpful? > > Yeah, you are. It's nice to have someone to talk to this all about who doesn't freak on me. > Does Angel 'freak on you'? Or do you try not to talk about it at this point? Angel doesn't freak so much as fall back into taking the blame for everything that happens in his vicinity. Also, I don't want him thinking so much about it that all he sees is the problem and not *me*, if you know what I mean. > And... please know that I'd never ask you to reveal anything it would be best for you not to share. Thank you. But really there's nothing really about this that's a deep dark secret. Or if there is, it's a deep dark secret to me too. > > > > > Really. I'm smiling. > > > > Good. You should do a lot more of that. > > > I'll try. > > Anything I can do to help that along? I'm sure Angel would forgive me dying his hair purple if it's in such a worthy cause. > That might be a horror-filled sort of smile, which I don't think is quite the look you're going for. Probably not. So what should I be doing then to make you smile? > > > Is he really enjoying himself, do you think? Or is the concept of a vacation rather wasted on him? > > He does seem to be enjoying himself. Every now and then he does get that "Shouldn't I be brooding?" look but so far I've been able to distract him. > Good. I think he needed this time away. Yes. Everyone needs a vacation every now and then. Especially if they've been dealing with the kind of stress Angel has been. Or you for that matter. You thought about taking some time off? > > Okay, now you've got me curious. What's the last thing you think I want to hear? > That I'm envious of your and Angel's happiness? I know that's a terrible thing to think, let alone to say, but it's there. I'm sorry. It isn't terrible at all. Just human. When we get back, we'll work on getting you some happiness of your own, okay? Doyle __________ To: Doyle From: Wesley Hello Doyle. > > > But since I'm the woman this time and the details don't feel like they impinge on my honour, I guess the old rules don't apply. But still, only to those who want to hear it. > > It's not so much that I don't want to -- which isn't to say that I do. It's more that I'm not sure it's a good idea. > How is it not a good idea? Beyond the obvious of oversharing I mean. Yes, that's it exactly, I think. There are details that one isn't meant to share with friends. It doesn't mean that you aren't close, just that the possibility exists that someone might become uncomfortable. > > > I also from the moment of birth had built my identity as a human being and then when I was 21 got that all shot to hell. So it's not like reworking an identity is totally new to me. > > Fair enough. > Who ever thought waking up one morning and finding yourself green with blue spines would actually be considered training? No one, I'm sure. And I'd imagine you're the only person for whom that particular experience has actually come in handy. > > You seem to be handling it all very well. Better than most people would, I'm sure. > Considering the alternatives were either being bodiless and stuck in a computer or bodiless and dead, this isn't so bad. Keeping that kind of thought in mind helps put everything into perspective. I can certainly say in all honesty that I'm grateful you're here, regardless of what happened to make that the case. Both for myself and for Angel. > > > Yeah, you are. It's nice to have someone to talk to this all about who doesn't freak on me. > > Does Angel 'freak on you'? Or do you try not to talk about it at this point? > Angel doesn't freak so much as fall back into taking the blame for everything that happens in his vicinity. Also, I don't want him thinking so much about it that all he sees is the problem and not *me*, if you know what I mean. I suppose I can see that, yes. I'm sure things will get easier over time. > > And... please know that I'd never ask you to reveal anything it would be best for you not to share. > Thank you. But really there's nothing really about this that's a deep dark secret. Or if there is, it's a deep dark secret to me too. I'd just hate to get in between the two of you -- for you to be sharing something with me because you felt it was too difficult to share it with him. I don't want to take anything away from him, you see. Well, not that I could in this case, but... I'm sure you understand. > > That might be a horror-filled sort of smile, which I don't think is quite the look you're going for. > Probably not. So what should I be doing then to make you smile? Just be yourself. It's good to have someone to talk to, someone who knows everything and understands, and especially someone who knows Angel so well. > > Good. I think he needed this time away. > Yes. Everyone needs a vacation every now and then. Especially if they've been dealing with the kind of stress Angel has been. Or you for that matter. You thought about taking some time off? Angel and I have been talking about that, actually. First he suggested that I take a vacation, and then when I said I thought it would be a rather solitary activity, he thought I should take Gunn along with me. It was hard to explain to him that that really wouldn't make for the best experience. At this point we've settled on all of us trying to go out for a drink when the two of you get back. And I'm going to see if anyone would like to go for one tonight too, although I'm busy both trying not to get my hopes up and worrying that it might not turn out the way I'd like it to. > > > Okay, now you've got me curious. What's the last thing you think I want to hear? > > That I'm envious of your and Angel's happiness? I know that's a terrible thing to think, let alone to say, but it's there. I'm sorry. > It isn't terrible at all. Just human. Terribly human. And I'm truly pleased that the two of you are happy. I don't begrudge you that at all. > When we get back, we'll work on getting you some happiness of your own, okay? I don't think it's the sort of thing you can work at exactly. But I appreciate the sentiment. I'll talk to you soon. - Wesley Next Part Main Page Send Feedback