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All the Wrong Places - Part 29
To: Wesley
From: Angel
Hi Wes.
I know you're probably not too thrilled with me right now, but I need you to do me a favor.
Tell Doyle I'm sorry, and that I'm not coming back.
- Angel
__________
To: Angel
From: Wesley
Angel:
> I know you're probably not too thrilled with me right now, but I need
you to do me a favor.
Tell Doyle I'm sorry, and that I'm not coming back.
Have you taken complete leave of your senses?
Wesley
__________
To: Wesley
From: Angel
> > I know you're probably not too thrilled with me right now, but I need
you to do me a favor.
Tell Doyle I'm sorry, and that I'm not coming back.
> Have you taken complete leave of your senses?
No. For once, I'm doing the right thing before I screw up everything for everyone
around me.
- Angel
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To: Angel
From: Wesley
> > > I know you're probably not too thrilled with me right now, but I need
you to do me a favor.
Tell Doyle I'm sorry, and that I'm not coming back.
> > Have you taken complete leave of your senses?
> No. For once, I'm doing the right thing before I screw up everything
for everyone around me.
You can't seriously believe that.
And I won't tell Doyle that. He's been more than half-convinced you've been dusted --
can't even fathom the idea of you abandoning him.
You want to break his heart -- you do that yourself. I won't do your dirty work for you.
Wesley
__________
To: Wesley
From: Angel
> > > > Tell Doyle I'm sorry, and that I'm
not coming back.
> > > Have you taken complete leave of your senses?
> > No. For once, I'm doing the right thing before I screw up everything
for everyone around me.
> You can't seriously believe that.
I do.
> And I won't tell Doyle that. He's been more than half-convinced
you've been dusted -- can't even fathom the idea of you abandoning
him.
You want to break his heart -- you do that yourself. I won't do your
dirty work for you.
I know you must know by now why I left. You of all people should understand why
it's better this way. I'm not abandoning him -- I'm protecting him.
And if you're his friend, you'll tell him. It would be easier on him, coming from you. At
least let him know I'm not dust.
- Angel
__________
To: Angel
From: Wesley
> > > > > Tell Doyle I'm sorry, and that
I'm not coming back.
> > > > Have you taken complete leave of
your senses?
> > > No. For once, I'm doing the right thing before I screw up everything
for everyone around me.
> > You can't seriously believe that.
> I do.
And you really think that leaving is going to make things better?
> > And I won't tell Doyle that. He's been more than half-convinced
you've been dusted -- can't even fathom the idea of you abandoning
him.
You want to break his heart -- you do that yourself. I won't do your
dirty work for you.
> I know you must know by now why I left. You of all people should
understand why it's better this way. I'm not abandoning him -- I'm
protecting him.
You're protecting yourself.
Angel, I know that this has got to be difficult for you, but this isn't the way to handle it.
> And if you're his friend, you'll tell him. It would be easier on him,
coming from you. At least let him know I'm not dust.
You win. I showed him this email.
From the look on his face, I would say that the last thing he's feeling is "protected."
Wesley
__________
To: Wesley
From: Angel
> > > > No. For once, I'm doing the right
thing before I screw up everything
for everyone around me.
> > > You can't seriously believe that.
> > I do.
> And you really think that leaving is going to make things better?
I think it's going to keep Doyle and... you know, everyone else -- safe. Safer than they'd
be if I was around.
> > > You want to break his heart -- you do that yourself. I won't do your
dirty work for you.
> > I know you must know by now why I left. You of all people should
understand why it's better this way. I'm not abandoning him -- I'm
protecting him.
> You're protecting yourself.
Angel, I know that this has got to be difficult for you, but this isn't the way
to handle it.
You know, I can see why you might think that, but you're wrong. I'm just trying to do
the right thing.
> > And if you're his friend, you'll tell him. It would be easier on him,
coming from you. At least let him know I'm not dust.
> You win. I showed him this email.
From the look on his face, I would say that the last thing he's feeling is
"protected."
You know what, Wes? Fuck you.
- Angel
__________
To: Angel
From: Doyle
You bastard.
__________
To: Doyle
From: Angel
> To: Angel
From: Doyle
You bastard.
I'm sorry, Doyle. You'll never know how sorry. But I'm not coming back. Take care
of yourself, and... you know.
- Angel
__________
To: Angel
From: Wesley
> > And you really think that leaving is going to make things better?
> I think it's going to keep Doyle and... you know, everyone else --
safe. Safer than they'd be if I was around.
If you're talking about Doyle's condition, I think it's a bit late to absent yourself to
prevent... things from occurring, don't you?
> > > I know you must know by now why I left. You of all people should
understand why it's better this way. I'm not abandoning him -- I'm
protecting him.
> > You're protecting yourself.
Angel, I know that this has got to be difficult for you, but this isn't the way
to handle it.
> You know, I can see why you might think that, but you're wrong. I'm
just trying to do the right thing.
Don't you think, given the topic, that you might be reacting from a place other
than cold logic? Understandably so, but still...
> > You win. I showed him this email.
From the look on his face, I would say that the last thing he's
feeling is "protected."
> You know what, Wes? Fuck you.
Yes, that's very productive.
Wesley
__________
To: Wesley
From: Angel
> > I think it's going to keep Doyle and... you know, everyone else --
safe. Safer than they'd be if I was around.
> If you're talking about Doyle's condition, I think it's a bit late to absent
yourself to prevent... things from occurring, don't you?
That's why I had to go. I couldn't chance what might happen if I was around,
considering... everything. I think the first time proved that there can't be any more. I can't do this again.
I won't.
> > > Angel, I know that this has got to be difficult for you, but this isn't the way
to handle it.
> > You know, I can see why you might think that, but you're wrong. I'm
just trying to do the right thing.
> Don't you think, given the topic, that you might be reacting from a place other
than cold logic? Understandably so, but still...
This isn't even POSSIBLE. Vampires can't... Wesley, you KNOW this. And I know
Doyle wasn't with anyone but me -- trust me, I've been over and over this in my head, trying
to make sense of it, and there's just no way. The only thing I know is that I love him more
than anything and I'm NOT going to chance something happening to him because of me.
> > > You win. I showed him this email.
From the look on his face, I would say that the last thing he's
feeling is "protected."
> > You know what, Wes? Fuck you.
> Yes, that's very productive.
Well, none of this is.
I just wanted him to know that I was sorry, and that he shouldn't... you know, wait
around thinking that I was coming back. I'll find some place to settle down and he can just go
on with his life. Have as normal a one as he can.
I was serious when I asked you to keep an eye on him. Make sure he's okay. I know
I've fucked up our friendship a dozen times over, but if I ever meant anything to you... do this
for me. Please.
I'm sorry.
- Angel
__________
To: Angel
From: Doyle
> > You bastard.
> I'm sorry, Doyle. You'll never know how sorry. But I'm not coming back.
Take care of yourself, and... you know.
You can be sorry all you want, just be sorry *here*.
Doyle
__________
To: Doyle
From: Angel
> > > You bastard.
> > I'm sorry, Doyle. You'll never know how sorry. But I'm not coming back.
Take care of yourself, and... you know.
> You can be sorry all you want, just be sorry *here*.
I can't.
I'm sorry that it has to be this way, but more than anything I need to know that
you're safe, and me being around is just a recipe for disaster. You'll be happier
without me, both of you.
I'm sorry. I hope you believe that.
- Angel
__________
To: Angel
From: Wesley
Angel:
> > If you're talking about Doyle's condition, I think it's a bit late to
absent yourself to prevent... things from occurring, don't you?
> That's why I had to go. I couldn't chance what might happen if I was
around, considering... everything. I think the first time proved that
there can't be any more. I can't do this again. I won't.
I understand you're scared, even traumatised, especially after what happened
before. That's only natural. Taking a break to get your bearings is also understandable.
But you can't walk away from this, not for good.
And even if you can, Doyle can't.
> > Don't you think, given the topic, that you might be reacting from a
place other than cold logic? Understandably so, but still...
> This isn't even POSSIBLE. Vampires can't... Wesley, you KNOW this. And
I know Doyle wasn't with anyone but me -- trust me, I've been over and
over this in my head, trying to make sense of it, and there's just no
way. The only thing I know is that I love him more than anything and
I'm NOT going to chance something happening to him because of me.
I know this. But this is the second time this has happened so I think the
prevailing wisdom would be wrong on how impossible it is.
I know you love him but leaving him alone isn't the way to show it. Not right now.
> I just wanted him to know that I was sorry, and that he shouldn't...
you know, wait around thinking that I was coming back. I'll find some
place to settle down and he can just go on with his life. Have as
normal a one as he can.
It's not as easy as all that and you know it -- or at least you would if you would
just think about it for two minutes.
What Doyle is going through now is pretty much the epitome of a life-changing
experience. Even if he wanted to, he can't just forget you and go on with having a normal life
because he's pretty much reminded of you every minute.
> I was serious when I asked you to keep an eye on him. Make sure he's
okay. I know I've fucked up our friendship a dozen times over, but if I
ever meant anything to you... do this for me. Please.
I would do that regardless. Doyle is a friend in his own right; I'm not about to abandon him.
> I'm sorry.
Those words would have a lot more impact if you were saying them in person.
Wesley
__________
To: Wesley
From: Angel
> > That's why I had to go. I couldn't chance what might happen if I was
around, considering... everything. I think the first time proved that
there can't be any more. I can't do this again. I won't.
> I understand you're scared, even traumatised, especially after what
happened before. That's only natural. Taking a break to get your
bearings is also understandable.
But you can't walk away from this, not for good.
I can. I have.
> And even if you can, Doyle can't.
Whoa, low blow. Nice, Wesley. On anyone else, that might have worked.
> > > Don't you think, given the topic, that you might be reacting from a
place other than cold logic? Understandably so, but still...
> > This isn't even POSSIBLE. Vampires can't... Wesley, you KNOW this. And
I know Doyle wasn't with anyone but me -- trust me, I've been over and
over this in my head, trying to make sense of it, and there's just no
way. The only thing I know is that I love him more than anything and
I'm NOT going to chance something happening to him because of me.
> I know this. But this is the second time this
has happened so I think
the prevailing wisdom would be wrong on how impossible it is. Or maybe it's just me. Have you thought of that? Is it the soul, is that why...?
Anyway, it's not important. All that matters is that I keep away from him so that he'll be safe.
> I know you love him but leaving him alone isn't the way to show it.
Not right now.
It's the only way.
> > I just wanted him to know that I was sorry, and that he shouldn't...
you know, wait around thinking that I was coming back. I'll find some
place to settle down and he can just go on with his life. Have as
normal a one as he can.
> It's not as easy as all that and you know it -- or at least you would
if you would just think about it for two minutes.
What Doyle is going through now is pretty much the epitome of a
life-changing experience. Even if he wanted to, he can't just forget
you and go on with having a normal life because he's pretty much
reminded of you every minute.
He's strong -- heck, you know that. He'll be okay. Better off.
> > I was serious when I asked you to keep an eye on him. Make sure he's
okay. I know I've fucked up our friendship a dozen times over, but if I
ever meant anything to you... do this for me. Please.
> I would do that regardless. Doyle is a friend in his own right; I'm
not about to abandon him.
Nice. But it's not going to work.
I'm glad you're there.
> > I'm sorry.
> Those words would have a lot more impact if you were saying them in person.
Yeah, but that's not going to happen, so I'll have to do the best I can from here. I'm
sorry, Wesley. To both of you.
All of you.
- Angel
__________
To: Angel
From: Doyle
> > > I'm sorry, Doyle. You'll never know how sorry. But I'm not coming
back. Take care of yourself, and... you know.
> > You can be sorry all you want, just be sorry *here*.
> I can't.
I'm sorry that it has to be this way, but more than anything I need to
know that you're safe, and me being around is just a recipe for
disaster. You'll be happier without me, both of you.
This isn't about me and keeping me safe -- because if it was, that's a lot easier to do
when you're actually here to do it.
And it's not about my happiness because I could have sworn I've made it pretty clear
time and again that you made me happy.
Don't try to make this about me. This is about you and your fears. I know you're scared
-- terrified, probably -- and I know why. Didn't you think I would?
But Angel, this shouldn't be about your fear -- it shouldn't even be about me. You
know exactly what it should be about and I'm asking you straight out to come back. I... *we*
need you.
Please.
> I'm sorry. I hope you believe that.
Apology not accepted. Try it in person and I might give another answer.
Doyle
__________
To: Doyle
From: Angel
Doyle... I'm sorry.
> > > You can be sorry all you want, just be sorry
*here*.
> > I can't.
I'm sorry that it has to be this way, but more than anything I need to
know that you're safe, and me being around is just a recipe for
disaster. You'll be happier without me, both of you.
> This isn't about me and keeping me safe -- because if it was, that's a
lot easier to do when you're actually here to do it.
Unless I'm the thing that puts you in danger.
> And it's not about my happiness because I could have sworn I've made
it pretty clear time and again that you made me happy.
Don't try to make this about me. This is about you and your fears. I
know you're scared -- terrified, probably -- and I know why. Didn't you
think I would?
But Angel, this shouldn't be about your fear -- it shouldn't even be
about me. You know exactly what it should be about and I'm asking you
straight out to come back. I... *we* need you.
Please.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I wish it could be different, but it can't. Not for me, not ever. It
might have taken me a long time to learn that lesson, but I finally got it.
> > I'm sorry. I hope you believe that.
> Apology not accepted. Try it in person and I might give another answer.
I can't. I'm sorry.
Look... when I walk away from the computer right after I send this, I'm walking away
for good. I won't be back to see if you reply. Going back and forth like this, it's only making
it harder on all of us, and that wasn't what I wanted to do.
I love you. Don't forget that. Well... unless it makes you happier to.
- Angel
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