All the Wrong Places - Part 35 To: Wesley From: Angel Hi Wesley. Doyle's here, he's fine. He's sleeping. I got him a room at a hotel not too far from where I've been staying, and it's nice. Safe. Just so you know you don't have to worry. You don't have to worry about me, either. I mean... Doyle wants me to come back with him, and as far as I'm concerned, if he wants it, he's getting it. I owe him that much. More. A lot more, actually. But I don't want you to worry that means you're out of the picture, and I didn't want to just come barging back in without letting you know. You're the one who stuck around, and Doyle says he loves you, so that means you get a say in what happens too. I guess we should probably talk. In person, I mean, when I get back. Maybe we could meet somewhere. Neutral territory? Don't think I didn't notice that you hadn't emailed me back before. I did. And if there's stuff you want to say to me... stuff you want to get off your chest... just come out with it. I promise I'll do my best to, you know, be understanding. I want us to work this out. It's important to me. YOU'RE important to me. I hope you know that. - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel, > Doyle's here, he's fine. He's sleeping. I got him a room at a hotel not too far from where I've been staying, and it's nice. Safe. Just so you know you don't have to worry. Thank you. Although it's difficult to stop worrying regardless. > You don't have to worry about me, either. I mean... Doyle wants me to come back with him, and as far as I'm concerned, if he wants it, he's getting it. I owe him that much. More. A lot more, actually. But I don't want you to worry that means you're out of the picture, and I didn't want to just come barging back in without letting you know. You're the one who stuck around, and Doyle says he loves you, so that means you get a say in what happens too. Doyle told me before he left that he was going to bring you back with him. He also was insistent that this isn't going to change things but I think the both of us know it will, even if Doyle refuses to see that. But it doesn't matter. Doyle loves you, he wants you and needs you, that much is obvious. I won't stand in your way. > I guess we should probably talk. In person, I mean, when I get back. Maybe we could meet somewhere. Neutral territory? I suppose we should. Do you have somewhere in mind? > Don't think I didn't notice that you hadn't emailed me back before. I did. And if there's stuff you want to say to me... stuff you want to get off your chest... just come out with it. I promise I'll do my best to, you know, be understanding. It's not important, not now. Doyle's made his decision. > I want us to work this out. It's important to me. YOU'RE important to me. I hope you know that. As long as you don't hurt Doyle again I won't have a problem with you. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi, Wesley. > > Doyle's here, he's fine. He's sleeping. I got him a room at a hotel not too far from where I've been staying, and it's nice. Safe. Just so you know you don't have to worry. > Thank you. Although it's difficult to stop worrying regardless. Yeah. I know what that's like. > > You don't have to worry about me, either. I mean... Doyle wants me to come back with him, and as far as I'm concerned, if he wants it, he's getting it. I owe him that much. More. A lot more, actually. But I don't want you to worry that means you're out of the picture, and I didn't want to just come barging back in without letting you know. You're the one who stuck around, and Doyle says he loves you, so that means you get a say in what happens too. > Doyle told me before he left that he was going to bring you back with him. He also was insistent that this isn't going to change things but I think the both of us know it will, even if Doyle refuses to see that. But it doesn't matter. Doyle loves you, he wants you and needs you, that much is obvious. I won't stand in your way. It's not that simple. Do you seriously think that Doyle would say stuff like he's been saying about you if he didn't mean it? He's not that kind of person. He wouldn't lie to you just to make you feel better. He loves you, and wants you, and needs you, too. And I'm not going to take any of that away from him, not if I can help it. > > I guess we should probably talk. In person, I mean, when I get back. Maybe we could meet somewhere. Neutral territory? > I suppose we should. Do you have somewhere in mind? Not really. If I did, it wouldn't really be neutral, would it? Maybe we can go someplace new, someplace neither of us has been before? > > Don't think I didn't notice that you hadn't emailed me back before. I did. And if there's stuff you want to say to me... stuff you want to get off your chest... just come out with it. I promise I'll do my best to, you know, be understanding. > It's not important, not now. Doyle's made his decision. He's made the decision that he wants both of us. Are you not okay with that? > > I want us to work this out. It's important to me. YOU'RE important to me. I hope you know that. > As long as you don't hurt Doyle again I won't have a problem with you. I sure as hell don't intend to. But I don't want to hurt you, either, and it sounds like all of this is. And I don't know what to do about it. - Angel __________ To Angel From Wesley Hello Angel > > But it doesn't matter. Doyle loves you, he wants you and needs you, that much is obvious. I won't stand in your way. > It's not that simple. Do you seriously think that Doyle would say stuff like he's been saying about you if he didn't mean it? He's not that kind of person. He wouldn't lie to you just to make you feel better. He loves you, and wants you, and needs you, too. And I'm not going to take any of that away from him, not if I can help it. Do you really mean that? That you can come back and just sit back and watch Doyle and me... without it bothering you? > > > I guess we should probably talk. In person, I mean, when I get back. Maybe we could meet somewhere. Neutral territory? > > I suppose we should. Do you have somewhere in mind? > Not really. If I did, it wouldn't really be neutral, would it? Maybe we can go someplace new, someplace neither of us has been before? Or maybe somewhere we've both been before? How about the Hyperion? Somehow I don't think this is a conversation either of us wants to have in public. > > > Don't think I didn't notice that you hadn't emailed me back before. I did. And if there's stuff you want to say to me... stuff you want to get off your chest... just come out with it. I promise I'll do my best to, you know, be understanding. > > It's not important, not now. Doyle's made his decision. > He's made the decision that he wants both of us. Are you not okay with that? I am not too proud to take whatever I can get, not where Doyle is concerned at least. For however long it lasts. > > > I want us to work this out. It's important to me. YOU'RE important to me. I hope you know that. > > As long as you don't hurt Doyle again I won't have a problem with you. > I sure as hell don't intend to. But I don't want to hurt you, either, and it sounds like all of this is. And I don't know what to do about it. I don't think there is anything you can do about it, Angel. Sometimes things just are the way they are whether they hurt or not. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi, Wesley. > > It's not that simple. Do you seriously think that Doyle would say stuff like he's been saying about you if he didn't mean it? He's not that kind of person. He wouldn't lie to you just to make you feel better. He loves you, and wants you, and needs you, too. And I'm not going to take any of that away from him, not if I can help it. > Do you really mean that? That you can come back and just sit back and watch Doyle and me... without it bothering you? Honestly? I don't know. Picturing it in my head... yeah, there's part of me that doesn't like it, sure. But I want Doyle to be happy, and if that includes you, then I'll figure out a way to deal with it. I wouldn't ask him to give you up, and, well, I wouldn't ask you to give HIM up, either. If you and I can find a way to get past the past and be friends again, or maybe more than friends... that'd just be an extra bonus. > > Not really. If I did, it wouldn't really be neutral, would it? Maybe we can go someplace new, someplace neither of us has been before? > Or maybe somewhere we've both been before? How about the Hyperion? Somehow I don't think this is a conversation either of us wants to have in public. Are you planning on yelling? Because I wasn't. Although, come to think of it, yeah, I can see why you might want to yell at me. I pretty much expected Doyle to, and he didn't. But you'd be entitled. The Hyperion's fine by me, if it's okay with you. Then you can yell at me all you want and no one will be around to get worried. > > > It's not important, not now. Doyle's made his decision. > > He's made the decision that he wants both of us. Are you not okay with that? > I am not too proud to take whatever I can get, not where Doyle is concerned at least. For however long it lasts. I don't... I really don't think it's like that. He doesn't see you like that, like someone he's just giving a part of himself to, you know? Does that make sense? > > > As long as you don't hurt Doyle again I won't have a problem with you. > > I sure as hell don't intend to. But I don't want to hurt you, either, and it sounds like all of this is. And I don't know what to do about it. > I don't think there is anything you can do about it, Angel. Sometimes things just are the way they are whether they hurt or not. So that's it? I'm just supposed to accept the fact that you're hurting over this and not try to do anything about it? I'm... I don't think I can do that, Wes. You're too important to me. I can't just shrug that off like it doesn't mean anything. I know I've done stuff to prove otherwise, but I want to be someone you can trust. If there are things I can do to make it easier, tell me. - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel, > > Do you really mean that? That you can come back and just sit back and watch Doyle and me... without it bothering you? > Honestly? I don't know. Picturing it in my head... yeah, there's part of me that doesn't like it, sure. But I want Doyle to be happy, and if that includes you, then I'll figure out a way to deal with it. I wouldn't ask him to give you up, and, well, I wouldn't ask you to give HIM up, either. If you and I can find a way to get past the past and be friends again, or maybe more than friends... that'd just be an extra bonus. We agree on that at least -- wanting Doyle to be happy, even if that means awkward situations for us. What do you mean, more than friends? > > Or maybe somewhere we've both been before? How about the Hyperion? Somehow I don't think this is a conversation either of us wants to have in public. > Are you planning on yelling? Because I wasn't. Although, come to think of it, yeah, I can see why you might want to yell at me. I pretty much expected Doyle to, and he didn't. But you'd be entitled. The Hyperion's fine by me, if it's okay with you. Then you can yell at me all you want and no one will be around to get worried. I wasn't planning on yelling, although I don't deny the possibility of it. It's more... this is a rather... private subject and I don't feel all that comfortable talking about it where strangers could overhear. Let's face it, it's not exactly something most people would understand. > > > > It's not important, not now. Doyle's made his decision. > > > He's made the decision that he wants both of us. Are you not okay with that? > > I am not too proud to take whatever I can get, not where Doyle is concerned at least. For however long it lasts. > I don't... I really don't think it's like that. He doesn't see you like that, like someone he's just giving a part of himself to, you know? Does that make sense? I'm.. not sure if it does. Maybe? > > > I sure as hell don't intend to. But I don't want to hurt you, either, and it sounds like all of this is. And I don't know what to do about it. > > I don't think there is anything you can do about it, Angel. Sometimes things just are the way they are whether they hurt or not. > So that's it? I'm just supposed to accept the fact that you're hurting over this and not try to do anything about it? I'm... I don't think I can do that, Wes. You're too important to me. I can't just shrug that off like it doesn't mean anything. I know I've done stuff to prove otherwise, but I want to be someone you can trust. If there are things I can do to make it easier, tell me. I... I don't know. I'll have to think about it. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi, Wesley. > > Honestly? I don't know. Picturing it in my head... yeah, there's part of me that doesn't like it, sure. But I want Doyle to be happy, and if that includes you, then I'll figure out a way to deal with it. I wouldn't ask him to give you up, and, well, I wouldn't ask you to give HIM up, either. If you and I can find a way to get past the past and be friends again, or maybe more than friends... that'd just be an extra bonus. > We agree on that at least -- wanting Doyle to be happy, even if that means awkward situations for us. What do you mean, more than friends? Well, it wouldn't be awkward forever, would it? I mean, it didn't used to be. Eventually, we'd be comfortable with each other again, I think. I hope. Does 'more than friends' have lots of meanings? I don't know. Doyle said some stuff that got me thinking, I guess. About the way that I used to look at you, and how I thought that maybe, if things had been different... but you don't feel that way anymore, and I don't blame you, considering. There's a lot of stuff between us, it makes sense that it would make you not... be able to have, you know. Those kinds of feelings for me. > > Are you planning on yelling? Because I wasn't. Although, come to think of it, yeah, I can see why you might want to yell at me. I pretty much expected Doyle to, and he didn't. But you'd be entitled. The Hyperion's fine by me, if it's okay with you. Then you can yell at me all you want and no one will be around to get worried. > I wasn't planning on yelling, although I don't deny the possibility of it. It's more... this is a rather... private subject and I don't feel all that comfortable talking about it where strangers could overhear. Let's face it, it's not exactly something most people would understand. Okay, yeah, I can see that. Whatever you're comfortable with is fine with me. Really. > > > I am not too proud to take whatever I can get, not where Doyle is concerned at least. For however long it lasts. > > I don't... I really don't think it's like that. He doesn't see you like that, like someone he's just giving a part of himself to, you know? Does that make sense? > I'm.. Not sure if it does. Maybe? I mean, he's not thinking 'I wonder how little I can give Wes and still have him stick around.' He's not like that. He wouldn't want your relationship if it was going to be one sided, so that means he really loves you. All the way. I guess it doesn't mean he can't still love me, too, but... > > > I don't think there is anything you can do about it, Angel. Sometimes things just are the way they are whether they hurt or not. > > So that's it? I'm just supposed to accept the fact that you're hurting over this and not try to do anything about it? I'm... I don't think I can do that, Wes. You're too important to me. I can't just shrug that off like it doesn't mean anything. I know I've done stuff to prove otherwise, but I want to be someone you can trust. If there are things I can do to make it easier, tell me. > I... I don't know. I'll have to think about it. Okay. I understand. And I'll give you whatever time and space you need. - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel, > > We agree on that at least -- wanting Doyle to be happy, even if that means awkward situations for us. What do you mean, more than friends? > Well, it wouldn't be awkward forever, would it? I mean, it didn't used to be. Eventually, we'd be comfortable with each other again, I think. I hope. I suppose our lives are living testaments that you can get used to pretty much anything eventually. > Does 'more than friends' have lots of meanings? Not generally, no, but it wasn't something I was expecting to hear from you. > I don't know. Doyle said some stuff that got me thinking, I guess. About the way that I used to look at you, and how I thought that maybe, if things had been different... but you don't feel that way anymore, and I don't blame you, considering. There's a lot of stuff between us, it makes sense that it would make you not... be able to have, you know. Those kinds of feelings for me. Kindly please refrain from telling me what I do and don't feel anymore. But... are you saying that you... have -- or even had -- romantic feelings for me? > > I wasn't planning on yelling, although I don't deny the possibility of it. It's more... this is a rather... private subject and I don't feel all that comfortable talking about it where strangers could overhear. Let's face it, it's not exactly something most people would understand. > Okay, yeah, I can see that. Whatever you're comfortable with is fine with me. Really. I'm starting to think we have more to talk about than I originally thought. > > > > I am not too proud to take whatever I can get, not where Doyle is concerned at least. For however long it lasts. > > > I don't... I really don't think it's like that. He doesn't see you like that, like someone he's just giving a part of himself to, you know? Does that make sense? > > I'm.. Not sure if it does. Maybe? > I mean, he's not thinking 'I wonder how little I can give Wes and still have him stick around.' He's not like that. He wouldn't want your relationship if it was going to be one sided, so that means he really loves you. All the way. I guess it doesn't mean he can't still love me, too, but... But...? Angel, I can assure you that Doyle does love you and that he's never stopped. Even when we... he made that point quite clear, not that he needed to. It was quite plain to anybody with eyes. And sense, which perhaps leaves you out at times admittedly. > > > > I don't think there is anything you can do about it, Angel. Sometimes things just are the way they are whether they hurt or not. > > > So that's it? I'm just supposed to accept the fact that you're hurting over this and not try to do anything about it? I'm... I don't think I can do that, Wes. You're too important to me. I can't just shrug that off like it doesn't mean anything. I know I've done stuff to prove otherwise, but I want to be someone you can trust. If there are things I can do to make it easier, tell me. > > I... I don't know. I'll have to think about it. > Okay. I understand. And I'll give you whatever time and space you need. Thank you. For what it's worth I'm beginning to think we can come to some new accord somehow, whatever that may end up being. Wesley _________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi, Wesley. Hey, it's getting really late. If you need to go get some sleep, or whatever, we can talk more later. Which isn't me saying that I want to stop talking now, just that you should make sure you're taking care of yourself. > > > We agree on that at least -- wanting Doyle to be happy, even if that means awkward situations for us. What do you mean, more than friends? > > Well, it wouldn't be awkward forever, would it? I mean, it didn't used to be. Eventually, we'd be comfortable with each other again, I think. I hope. > I suppose our lives are living testaments that you can get used to pretty much anything eventually. Well, other than the 'living' part, in my case, at least. But yeah, I get what you're saying. > > Does 'more than friends' have lots of meanings? > Not generally, no, but it wasn't something I was expecting to hear from you. Now? I mean, because of what's happened? Or ever? > > I don't know. Doyle said some stuff that got me thinking, I guess. About the way that I used to look at you, and how I thought that maybe, if things had been different... but you don't feel that way anymore, and I don't blame you, considering. There's a lot of stuff between us, it makes sense that it would make you not... be able to have, you know. Those kinds of feelings for me. > Kindly please refrain from telling me what I do and don't feel anymore. Sorry. I didn't mean it like that, I just meant... that I'd understand. > But... are you saying that you... have -- or even had -- romantic feelings for me? Could I have seen us getting together? Sure. Didn't you? Maybe it was just me. But I thought... well, there were times when it seemed like we were only a step away from that. All the other stuff was there. You were like family to me already -- you and Cordelia. Wow, that probably sounds bad, but I don't mean family in an incest kind of way, even if technically there's a whole vibe in that direction, what with the vampire thing, and other vampires. Okay, I'm getting off topic. But the answer is yes, I did. Do, maybe, although it's kind of new to be thinking about it again. > > > I wasn't planning on yelling, although I don't deny the possibility of it. It's more... this is a rather... private subject and I don't feel all that comfortable talking about it where strangers could overhear. Let's face it, it's not exactly something most people would understand. > > Okay, yeah, I can see that. Whatever you're comfortable with is fine with me. Really. > I'm starting to think we have more to talk about than I originally thought. Do we? > > I mean, he's not thinking 'I wonder how little I can give Wes and still have him stick around.' He's not like that. He wouldn't want your relationship if it was going to be one sided, so that means he really loves you. All the way. I guess it doesn't mean he can't still love me, too, but... > But...? Angel, I can assure you that Doyle does love you and that he's never stopped. Even when we... he made that point quite clear, not that he needed to. It was quite plain to anybody with eyes. And sense, which perhaps leaves you out at times admittedly. No, I know that he loves me. Sometimes I'm not sure WHY, but I know it. I meant that it's not what I was expecting, or would have expected, him and me, and you and him, and... whatever else might happen. > > > > I know I've done stuff to prove otherwise, but I want to be someone you can trust. If there are things I can do to make it easier, tell me. > > > I... I don't know. I'll have to think about it. > > Okay. I understand. And I'll give you whatever time and space you need. > Thank you. For what it's worth I'm beginning to think we can come to some new accord somehow, whatever that may end up being. I hope we can. You mean a lot to me, and I'll tell you the same thing I told Doyle -- I'll do whatever it takes to get this to work. - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel > Hey, it's getting really late. If you need to go get some sleep, or whatever, we can talk more later. Which isn't me saying that I want to stop talking now, just that you should make sure you're taking care of yourself. I'm fine, really. If I get tired, I'll let you know. > > > Does 'more than friends' have lots of meanings? > > Not generally, no, but it wasn't something I was expecting to hear from you. > Now? I mean, because of what's happened? Or ever? Ever, really. I never was able to convince myself that you could feel the same way I did. Do. Maybe. > > > I don't know. Doyle said some stuff that got me thinking, I guess. About the way that I used to look at you, and how I thought that maybe, if things had been different... but you don't feel that way anymore, and I don't blame you, considering. There's a lot of stuff between us, it makes sense that it would make you not... be able to have, you know. Those kinds of feelings for me. > > Kindly please refrain from telling me what I do and don't feel anymore. > Sorry. I didn't mean it like that, I just meant... that I'd understand. My feelings, my.... heart... is remarkably stubborn once it settles on someone. No matter what asinine acts of stupidity the object of my affections may indulge in. > > But... are you saying that you... have -- or even had -- romantic feelings for me? > Could I have seen us getting together? Sure. Didn't you? Maybe it was just me. But I thought... well, there were times when it seemed like we were only a step away from that. All the other stuff was there. You were like family to me already -- you and Cordelia. Wow, that probably sounds bad, but I don't mean family in an incest kind of way, even if technically there's a whole vibe in that direction, what with the vampire thing, and other vampires. I thought about it.. Quite a lot at times. But I never thought you would... Well. > Okay, I'm getting off topic. But the answer is yes, I did. Do, maybe, although it's kind of new to be thinking about it again. You really mean that? I'm sorry to keep asking, but... I wasn't expecting... > > I'm starting to think we have more to talk about than I originally thought. > Do we? If you're serious, then yes. > > Angel, I can assure you that Doyle does love you and that he's never stopped. Even when we... he made that point quite clear, not that he needed to. It was quite plain to anybody with eyes. And sense, which perhaps leaves you out at times admittedly. > No, I know that he loves me. Sometimes I'm not sure WHY, but I know it. I meant that it's not what I was expecting, or would have expected, him and me, and you and him, and... whatever else might happen. I think I may give up trying to expect things. Reality seems to have very little to do with what I expect. > > > I understand. And I'll give you whatever time and space you need. > > Thank you. For what it's worth I'm beginning to think we can come to some new accord somehow, whatever that may end up being. > I hope we can. You mean a lot to me, and I'll tell you the same thing I told Doyle -- I'll do whatever it takes to get this to work. I'm starting to believe you. Wes __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi, Wes. > > Hey, it's getting really late. If you need to go get some sleep, or whatever, we can talk more later. Which isn't me saying that I want to stop talking now, just that you should make sure you're taking care of yourself. > I'm fine, really. If I get tired, I'll let you know. Okay. I don't want to keep you up and have you get sick or something. > > > > Does 'more than friends' have lots of meanings? > > > Not generally, no, but it wasn't something I was expecting to hear from you. > > Now? I mean, because of what's happened? Or ever? > Ever, really. I never was able to convince myself that you could feel the same way I did. Do. Maybe. Do? Maybe? I guess that's hopeful, right? > > > Kindly please refrain from telling me what I do and don't feel anymore. > > Sorry. I didn't mean it like that, I just meant... that I'd understand. > My feelings, my.... heart... is remarkably stubborn once it settles on someone. No matter what asinine acts of stupidity the object of my affections may indulge in. Okay, I'm not sure whether to be insulted or flattered. Not that I wouldn't agree with you that I do really stupid stuff sometimes. I wish I didn't. You were right, before, and I should have listened to you. When I left, I mean. Although if I'd stayed, I guess we wouldn't be having this conversation, so... maybe it wasn't all bad. > > Could I have seen us getting together? Sure. Didn't you? Maybe it was just me. But I thought... well, there were times when it seemed like we were only a step away from that. All the other stuff was there. You were like family to me already -- you and Cordelia. Wow, that probably sounds bad, but I don't mean family in an incest kind of way, even if technically there's a whole vibe in that direction, what with the vampire thing, and other vampires. > I thought about it.. Quite a lot at times. But I never thought you would... Well. I was a mess, after Buffy. And then when Doyle died... the last thing I wanted was to lose someone else I cared about. I think I thought that maybe I could keep from caring that much, and then, if something happened, it wouldn't be so bad. But I thought about it. You. Wanted you. I just wasn't sure why, and I didn't want to get things wrong, for the wrong reasons. > > Okay, I'm getting off topic. But the answer is yes, I did. Do, maybe, although it's kind of new to be thinking about it again. > You really mean that? I'm sorry to keep asking, but... I wasn't expecting... I really mean it. Honest. We were... I mean, we were close, right? When Connor was first born. You were like... I don't know, part of me, or something. Sorry -- I suck at this. I don't know how to put stuff into words and have it make any sense. > > > I'm starting to think we have more to talk about than I originally thought. > > Do we? > If you're serious, then yes. Yes. I'm serious, Wesley. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I do want to try. If you do. > > > Angel, I can assure you that Doyle does love you and that he's never stopped. Even when we... he made that point quite clear, not that he needed to. It was quite plain to anybody with eyes. And sense, which perhaps leaves you out at times admittedly. > > No, I know that he loves me. Sometimes I'm not sure WHY, but I know it. I meant that it's not what I was expecting, or would have expected, him and me, and you and him, and... whatever else might happen. > I think I may give up trying to expect things. Reality seems to have very little to do with what I expect. Isn't it funny how that happens? > > > For what it's worth I'm beginning to think we can come to some new accord somehow, whatever that may end up being. > > I hope we can. You mean a lot to me, and I'll tell you the same thing I told Doyle -- I'll do whatever it takes to get this to work. > I'm starting to believe you. Good. What do you want, Wes? Tell me. - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel, > > > Hey, it's getting really late. If you need to go get some sleep, or whatever, we can talk more later. Which isn't me saying that I want to stop talking now, just that you should make sure you're taking care of yourself. > > I'm fine, really. If I get tired, I'll let you know. > Okay. I don't want to keep you up and have you get sick or something. I can assure you, I'm quite capable of putting myself to bed when necessary. It's not necessary right now. > > > > > Does 'more than friends' have lots of meanings? > > > > Not generally, no, but it wasn't something I was expecting to hear from you. > > > Now? I mean, because of what's happened? Or ever? > > Ever, really. I never was able to convince myself that you could feel the same way I did. Do. Maybe. > Do? Maybe? I guess that's hopeful, right? It does seem to be looking that way, in spite of everything. Not sure exactly how that's come about but hope does seem to be flourishing right now. > > My feelings, my.... heart... is remarkably stubborn once it settles on someone. No matter what asinine acts of stupidity the object of my affections may indulge in. > Okay, I'm not sure whether to be insulted or flattered. Not that I wouldn't agree with you that I do really stupid stuff sometimes. I wish I didn't. You were right, before, and I should have listened to you. When I left, I mean. Although if I'd stayed, I guess we wouldn't be having this conversation, so... maybe it wasn't all bad. Doyle has been working on you, hasn't he? You're actually looking for the proverbial silver lining. > > > Could I have seen us getting together? Sure. Didn't you? Maybe it was just me. But I thought... well, there were times when it seemed like we were only a step away from that. All the other stuff was there. You were like family to me already -- you and Cordelia. Wow, that probably sounds bad, but I don't mean family in an incest kind of way, even if technically there's a whole vibe in that direction, what with the vampire thing, and other vampires. > > I thought about it.. Quite a lot at times. But I never thought you would... Well. > I was a mess, after Buffy. And then when Doyle died... the last thing I wanted was to lose someone else I cared about. I think I thought that maybe I could keep from caring that much, and then, if something happened, it wouldn't be so bad. But I thought about it. You. Wanted you. I just wasn't sure why, and I didn't want to get things wrong, for the wrong reasons. I can understand that. That had a lot to do with why I never said or did anything -- I didn't want to do anything to lose what I had. Of course the way things turned out, it was rather a moot point but... > > > Okay, I'm getting off topic. But the answer is yes, I did. Do, maybe, although it's kind of new to be thinking about it again. > > You really mean that? I'm sorry to keep asking, but... I wasn't expecting... > I really mean it. Honest. We were... I mean, we were close, right? When Connor was first born. You were like... I don't know, part of me, or something. Sorry -- I suck at this. I don't know how to put stuff into words and have it make any sense. I don't seem to be much better. Guess that may be a big reason why we never talked about this before; we didn't have Doyle to poke us into talking. Yes, we were close. > > > > I'm starting to think we have more to talk about than I originally thought. > > > Do we? > > If you're serious, then yes. > Yes. I'm serious, Wesley. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I do want to try. If you do. This is... unwise, wishful, possibly insane. But I do. Want to try. > > I think I may give up trying to expect things. Reality seems to have very little to do with what I expect. > Isn't it funny how that happens? What is that line from the song? "I think that God's got a sick sense of humour"? > > > > For what it's worth I'm beginning to think we can come to some new accord somehow, whatever that may end up being. > > > I hope we can. You mean a lot to me, and I'll tell you the same thing I told Doyle -- I'll do whatever it takes to get this to work. > > I'm starting to believe you. > Good. What do you want, Wes? Tell me. What I want in a perfect world and what I can conceivably expect to obtain... well may not be as far apart as I originally thought. Hope. That's a start. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi, Wes. > > Okay. I don't want to keep you up and have you get sick or something. > I can assure you, I'm quite capable of putting myself to bed when necessary. It's not necessary right now. You'd know better than I would. > > Do? Maybe? I guess that's hopeful, right? > It does seem to be looking that way, in spite of everything. Not sure exactly how that's come about but hope does seem to be flourishing right now. Well, it's looking right now like Doyle and I will drive back tomorrow, I guess, so maybe you and I will have a chance to talk in person? Soon, I mean -- not necessarily tomorrow, since I'm sure you have stuff to do, and... well, I guess we're going to have to talk about the office at some point, too, aren't we. I'm sorry for leaving, Wes. > > Okay, I'm not sure whether to be insulted or flattered. Not that I wouldn't agree with you that I do really stupid stuff sometimes. I wish I didn't. You were right, before, and I should have listened to you. When I left, I mean. Although if I'd stayed, I guess we wouldn't be having this conversation, so... maybe it wasn't all bad. > Doyle has been working on you, hasn't he? You're actually looking for the proverbial silver lining. Is that what I'm doing? I thought I was just looking at you. > > I was a mess, after Buffy. And then when Doyle died... the last thing I wanted was to lose someone else I cared about. I think I thought that maybe I could keep from caring that much, and then, if something happened, it wouldn't be so bad. But I thought about it. You. Wanted you. I just wasn't sure why, and I didn't want to get things wrong, for the wrong reasons. > I can understand that. That had a lot to do with why I never said or did anything -- I didn't want to do anything to lose what I had. Of course the way things turned out, it was rather a moot point but... Maybe... I don't know, maybe we could both just try to go on from here? Not think about the past so much, what with all the stuff between us. Because thinking about it doesn't change it, and it reminds me of when I was mad at you, and I don't want to be mad at you anymore. You know? > > We were... I mean, we were close, right? When Connor was first born. You were like... I don't know, part of me, or something. Sorry -- I suck at this. I don't know how to put stuff into words and have it make any sense. > I don't seem to be much better. Guess that may be a big reason why we never talked about this before; we didn't have Doyle to poke us into talking. Yes, we were close. Good. At least, it's good to know that it wasn't just me who thought so. And yeah, I guess it's a good thing we've got Doyle to help get us back to that point. > This is... unwise, wishful, possibly insane. But I do. Want to try. Unwise? Really? Are you... you're thinking that I'm going to fuck things up again, aren't you. That's fair. Not like I don't have a history of it. I'm going to try not to, though. And I promise I'll listen when you have something to say, even if it's something I don't want to hear. > > > I think I may give up trying to expect things. Reality seems to have very little to do with what I expect. > > Isn't it funny how that happens? > What is that line from the song? "I think that God's got a sick sense of humour"? I'm not sure God has anything to do with this. I kind of think we're operating under his radar. Or above it, maybe. > > What do you want, Wes? Tell me. > What I want in a perfect world and what I can conceivably expect to obtain... well may not be as far apart as I originally thought. Hope. That's a start. It is, yeah, but if you won't tell me what you want, it makes it harder to give it to you. Think about telling me, at least? I'll try to give you time, and space, and all that stuff. I get that this isn't easy. - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel > > > Do? Maybe? I guess that's hopeful, right? > > It does seem to be looking that way, in spite of everything. Not sure exactly how that's come about but hope does seem to be flourishing right now. > Well, it's looking right now like Doyle and I will drive back tomorrow, I guess, so maybe you and I will have a chance to talk in person? Soon, I mean -- not necessarily tomorrow, since I'm sure you have stuff to do, and... well, I guess we're going to have to talk about the office at some point, too, aren't we. I can meet you whenever you want, although I'm sure you want some time alone with Doyle first. I can wait until you're ready. > I'm sorry for leaving, Wes. It was never me you owed the apology to. > > > Okay, I'm not sure whether to be insulted or flattered. Not that I wouldn't agree with you that I do really stupid stuff sometimes. I wish I didn't. You were right, before, and I should have listened to you. When I left, I mean. Although if I'd stayed, I guess we wouldn't be having this conversation, so... maybe it wasn't all bad. > > Doyle has been working on you, hasn't he? You're actually looking for the proverbial silver lining. > Is that what I'm doing? I thought I was just looking at you. I don't think I've ever been called a silver lining before. As compliments go, it's quite... flattering. > > > But I thought about it. You. Wanted you. I just wasn't sure why, and I didn't want to get things wrong, for the wrong reasons. > > I can understand that. That had a lot to do with why I never said or did anything -- I didn't want to do anything to lose what I had. Of course the way things turned out, it was rather a moot point but... > Maybe... I don't know, maybe we could both just try to go on from here? Not think about the past so much, what with all the stuff between us. Because thinking about it doesn't change it, and it reminds me of when I was mad at you, and I don't want to be mad at you anymore. You know? Yes, that does sound like Doyle's influence there. Not that it isn't completely correct; we all would do better to stop living in the past so much. And... I don't want to be mad at you anymore either. > > > We were... I mean, we were close, right? When Connor was first born. You were like... I don't know, part of me, or something. Sorry -- I suck at this. I don't know how to put stuff into words and have it make any sense. > > I don't seem to be much better. Guess that may be a big reason why we never talked about this before; we didn't have Doyle to poke us into talking. Yes, we were close. > Good. At least, it's good to know that it wasn't just me who thought so. And yeah, I guess it's a good thing we've got Doyle to help get us back to that point. Not the only good reason to have Doyle around, but this one at least I think we can agree on without getting into that awkward territory again. > > This is... unwise, wishful, possibly insane. But I do. Want to try. > Unwise? Really? Are you... you're thinking that I'm going to fuck things up again, aren't you. That's fair. Not like I don't have a history of it. I'm going to try not to, though. And I promise I'll listen when you have something to say, even if it's something I don't want to hear. You don't hold a monopoly on fucking things up, you know. But try is all we can do. At the very least I begin to have confidence that we can at least get back to what we once were. Moving beyond that is an amazing and frightening thought. > > > > I think I may give up trying to expect things. Reality seems to have very little to do with what I expect. > > > Isn't it funny how that happens? > > What is that line from the song? "I think that God's got a sick sense of humour"? > I'm not sure God has anything to do with this. I kind of think we're operating under his radar. Or above it, maybe. That would seem like the best place to be, considering the capriciousness of the gods. > > > What do you want, Wes? Tell me. > > What I want in a perfect world and what I can conceivably expect to obtain... well may not be as far apart as I originally thought. Hope. That's a start. > It is, yeah, but if you won't tell me what you want, it makes it harder to give it to you. Think about telling me, at least? I'll try to give you time, and space, and all that stuff. I get that this isn't easy. What do I want? First and foremost, Doyle happy. I'd like for it to be with me, but the idea of it being with us isn't as threatening as it was even a few hours ago. I'd like our friendship back. Anything beyond that... Well. Let's start with friendship. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi, Wes. > > Well, it's looking right now like Doyle and I will drive back tomorrow, I guess, so maybe you and I will have a chance to talk in person? Soon, I mean -- not necessarily tomorrow, since I'm sure you have stuff to do, and... well, I guess we're going to have to talk about the office at some point, too, aren't we. > I can meet you whenever you want, although I'm sure you want some time alone with Doyle first. I can wait until you're ready. Wes... not to be too blunt, or whatever, but this isn't about what I want. I'M the one who walked away from the both of you. Don't think I'm not aware of how lucky I am that Doyle's willing to take me back, and don't make the mistake of thinking that you're the one that has to make the concessions here, because you're not. > > I'm sorry for leaving, Wes. > It was never me you owed the apology to. Actually, I think I did. Maybe not as big as the apology I owed Doyle, but yeah, you deserved one, too. > > > Doyle has been working on you, hasn't he? You're actually looking for the proverbial silver lining. > > Is that what I'm doing? I thought I was just looking at you. > I don't think I've ever been called a silver lining before. As compliments go, it's quite... flattering. You are. Again, not necessarily good with words, here, but... I missed you. And not just recently. > > Maybe... I don't know, maybe we could both just try to go on from here? Not think about the past so much, what with all the stuff between us. Because thinking about it doesn't change it, and it reminds me of when I was mad at you, and I don't want to be mad at you anymore. You know? > Yes, that does sound like Doyle's influence there. Not that it isn't completely correct; we all would do better to stop living in the past so much. And... I don't want to be mad at you anymore either. So -- clean slate? Or as clean as we can manage, anyway? Which means looking ahead instead of back. > > > Yes, we were close. > > Good. At least, it's good to know that it wasn't just me who thought so. And yeah, I guess it's a good thing we've got Doyle to help get us back to that point. > Not the only good reason to have Doyle around, but this one at least I think we can agree on without getting into that awkward territory again. I hope so. You mean a lot to me. > > Unwise? Really? Are you... you're thinking that I'm going to fuck things up again, aren't you. That's fair. Not like I don't have a history of it. I'm going to try not to, though. And I promise I'll listen when you have something to say, even if it's something I don't want to hear. > You don't hold a monopoly on fucking things up, you know. But try is all we can do. At the very least I begin to have confidence that we can at least get back to what we once were. Moving beyond that is an amazing and frightening thought. Okay, if I'm scary, then maybe this isn't such a good idea? Which isn't me changing my mind. But maybe you should think about it some more. > > > What is that line from the song? "I think that God's got a sick sense of humour"? > > I'm not sure God has anything to do with this. I kind of think we're operating under his radar. Or above it, maybe. > That would seem like the best place to be, considering the capriciousness of the gods. Exactly. We'll have to take to wearing dark clothes and skulking around at night. Oh, wait. I already do that. > > > That's a start. > > It is, yeah, but if you won't tell me what you want, it makes it harder to give it to you. Think about telling me, at least? I'll try to give you time, and space, and all that stuff. I get that this isn't easy. > What do I want? First and foremost, Doyle happy. I'd like for it to be with me, but the idea of it being with us isn't as threatening as it was even a few hours ago. I'd like our friendship back. Anything beyond that... Well. Let's start with friendship. Okay, sure. We'll start there and see what happens. And you know that I want Doyle to be happy, too. Whatever it takes, I'm willing to deal with it. If at some point he decides it's not working, and he wants me to back off so that you two can go back to the way things were... well, I won't like it, but I'll learn to live with it. - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel > > I can meet you whenever you want, although I'm sure you want some time alone with Doyle first. I can wait until you're ready. > Wes... not to be too blunt, or whatever, but this isn't about what I want. I'M the one who walked away from the both of you. Don't think I'm not aware of how lucky I am that Doyle's willing to take me back, and don't make the mistake of thinking that you're the one that has to make the concessions here, because you're not. All right. But I still can wait until you and Doyle have had some time alone, and can meet you when you are ready. That isn't me making concessions so much as saying I am willing to meet you as soon as it can practically be arranged. > > > I'm sorry for leaving, Wes. > > It was never me you owed the apology to. > Actually, I think I did. Maybe not as big as the apology I owed Doyle, but yeah, you deserved one, too. I'm still not sure it's necessary, but apology accepted. > > I don't think I've ever been called a silver lining before. As compliments go, it's quite... flattering. > You are. Again, not necessarily good with words, here, but... I missed you. And not just recently. You wouldn't be alone in the missing. > So -- clean slate? Or as clean as we can manage, anyway? Which means looking ahead instead of back. Agreed, a clean slate. > > > > Yes, we were close. > > > Good. At least, it's good to know that it wasn't just me who thought so. And yeah, I guess it's a good thing we've got Doyle to help get us back to that point. > > Not the only good reason to have Doyle around, but this one at least I think we can agree on without getting into that awkward territory again. > I hope so. You mean a lot to me. You've been rather like the north star; most of my actions in the past four years have been guided in one way or another by you. > > > Unwise? Really? Are you... you're thinking that I'm going to fuck things up again, aren't you. That's fair. Not like I don't have a history of it. I'm going to try not to, though. And I promise I'll listen when you have something to say, even if it's something I don't want to hear. > > You don't hold a monopoly on fucking things up, you know. But try is all we can do. At the very least I begin to have confidence that we can at least get back to what we once were. Moving beyond that is an amazing and frightening thought. > Okay, if I'm scary, then maybe this isn't such a good idea? Which isn't me changing my mind. But maybe you should think about it some more. It's not you that's scary. It's the idea of getting something that has only been fantasy for so long. > > > > What is that line from the song? "I think that God's got a sick sense of humour"? > > > I'm not sure God has anything to do with this. I kind of think we're operating under his radar. Or above it, maybe. > > That would seem like the best place to be, considering the capriciousness of the gods. > Exactly. We'll have to take to wearing dark clothes and skulking around at night. Oh, wait. I already do that. Was that an actual joke? > > > > That's a start. > > > It is, yeah, but if you won't tell me what you want, it makes it harder to give it to you. Think about telling me, at least? I'll try to give you time, and space, and all that stuff. I get that this isn't easy. > > What do I want? First and foremost, Doyle happy. I'd like for it to be with me, but the idea of it being with us isn't as threatening as it was even a few hours ago. I'd like our friendship back. Anything beyond that... Well. Let's start with friendship. > Okay, sure. We'll start there and see what happens. And you know that I want Doyle to be happy, too. Whatever it takes, I'm willing to deal with it. If at some point he decides it's not working, and he wants me to back off so that you two can go back to the way things were... well, I won't like it, but I'll learn to live with it. It's far more likely that Doyle would decide he wants to be with only you than with only me. You're the one he came back for. You're the one he died for in the first place. I can't see him giving that up now -- especially given the circumstances. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi, Wes. > > Wes... not to be too blunt, or whatever, but this isn't about what I want. I'M the one who walked away from the both of you. Don't think I'm not aware of how lucky I am that Doyle's willing to take me back, and don't make the mistake of thinking that you're the one that has to make the concessions here, because you're not. > All right. But I still can wait until you and Doyle have had some time alone, and can meet you when you are ready. That isn't me making concessions so much as saying I am willing to meet you as soon as it can practically be arranged. Okay... just don't forget what I said. You don't have to just do what I want, or what Doyle wants. You have a say in what happens, too. > > Actually, I think I did. Maybe not as big as the apology I owed Doyle, but yeah, you deserved one, too. > I'm still not sure it's necessary, but apology accepted. Thanks. I'm going to make it up to you, once I figure out how. > > You are. Again, not necessarily good with words, here, but... I missed you. And not just recently. > You wouldn't be alone in the missing. Really? I'm... you're serious? > > So -- clean slate? Or as clean as we can manage, anyway? Which means looking ahead instead of back. > Agreed, a clean slate. Good. > > > Not the only good reason to have Doyle around, but this one at least I think we can agree on without getting into that awkward territory again. > > I hope so. You mean a lot to me. > You've been rather like the north star; most of my actions in the past four years have been guided in one way or another by you. Don't think I haven't appreciated all your help -- there were times when I don't know what I would have done without you. A lot of times, actually. > > > But try is all we can do. At the very least I begin to have confidence that we can at least get back to what we once were. Moving beyond that is an amazing and frightening thought. > > Okay, if I'm scary, then maybe this isn't such a good idea? Which isn't me changing my mind. But maybe you should think about it some more. > It's not you that's scary. It's the idea of getting something that has only been fantasy for so long. Do you mean fantasy like... FANTASY? For real? > > Exactly. We'll have to take to wearing dark clothes and skulking around at night. Oh, wait. I already do that. > Was that an actual joke? It was! And, even more importantly, you GOT it. You think that means there's still a hope of me developing a sense of humor? > > And you know that I want Doyle to be happy, too. Whatever it takes, I'm willing to deal with it. If at some point he decides it's not working, and he wants me to back off so that you two can go back to the way things were... well, I won't like it, but I'll learn to live with it. > It's far more likely that Doyle would decide he wants to be with only you than with only me. You're the one he came back for. You're the one he died for in the first place. I can't see him giving that up now -- especially given the circumstances. I feel like you're not hearing me when I say that Doyle wouldn't be with you just because he couldn't have me. It's not like that. I know it's not. Would you believe Doyle if HE told you? - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel, > > All right. But I still can wait until you and Doyle have had some time alone, and can meet you when you are ready. That isn't me making concessions so much as saying I am willing to meet you as soon as it can practically be arranged. > Okay... just don't forget what I said. You don't have to just do what I want, or what Doyle wants. You have a say in what happens, too. That being stipulated, I do believe we were trying to arrange when we are going to meet to discuss things in person. I can do so whenever you're ready to. Which is all I've been saying. > > > Actually, I think I did. Maybe not as big as the apology I owed Doyle, but yeah, you deserved one, too. > > I'm still not sure it's necessary, but apology accepted. > Thanks. I'm going to make it up to you, once I figure out how. All right, I know that's not necessary. Really. > > > You are. Again, not necessarily good with words, here, but... I missed you. And not just recently. > > You wouldn't be alone in the missing. > Really? I'm... you're serious? I am. > > > > Not the only good reason to have Doyle around, but this one at least I think we can agree on without getting into that awkward territory again. > > > I hope so. You mean a lot to me. > > You've been rather like the north star; most of my actions in the past four years have been guided in one way or another by you. > Don't think I haven't appreciated all your help -- there were times when I don't know what I would have done without you. A lot of times, actually. I... am glad to have been of service. > > > Okay, if I'm scary, then maybe this isn't such a good idea? Which isn't me changing my mind. But maybe you should think about it some more. > > It's not you that's scary. It's the idea of getting something that has only been fantasy for so long. > Do you mean fantasy like... FANTASY? For real? Fantasies do tend to go hand in hand with the sort of feelings we've been talking about.. > > > Exactly. We'll have to take to wearing dark clothes and skulking around at night. Oh, wait. I already do that. > > Was that an actual joke? > It was! And, even more importantly, you GOT it. You think that means there's still a hope of me developing a sense of humor? I'm beginning to think anything is possible. > > > And you know that I want Doyle to be happy, too. Whatever it takes, I'm willing to deal with it. If at some point he decides it's not working, and he wants me to back off so that you two can go back to the way things were... well, I won't like it, but I'll learn to live with it. > > It's far more likely that Doyle would decide he wants to be with only you than with only me. You're the one he came back for. You're the one he died for in the first place. I can't see him giving that up now -- especially given the circumstances. > I feel like you're not hearing me when I say that Doyle wouldn't be with you just because he couldn't have me. It's not like that. I know it's not. Would you believe Doyle if HE told you? It isn't that so much as knowing who, if it came down to it, Doyle would choose. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi, Wes. > > Okay... just don't forget what I said. You don't have to just do what I want, or what Doyle wants. You have a say in what happens, too. > That being stipulated, I do believe we were trying to arrange when we are going to meet to discuss things in person. I can do so whenever you're ready to. Which is all I've been saying. Right. Got it. > > > I'm still not sure it's necessary, but apology accepted. > > Thanks. I'm going to make it up to you, once I figure out how. > All right, I know that's not necessary. Really. *I* think it is. It's necessary for me. That said, if I end up trying to make it up to you in a way you don't like, make sure to say. > > > > You are. Again, not necessarily good with words, here, but... I missed you. And not just recently. > > > You wouldn't be alone in the missing. > > Really? I'm... you're serious? > I am. That's... good to know. > > > You've been rather like the north star; most of my actions in the past four years have been guided in one way or another by you. > > Don't think I haven't appreciated all your help -- there were times when I don't know what I would have done without you. A lot of times, actually. > I... am glad to have been of service. I guess there's a reason you like putting it that way, huh. > > > It's not you that's scary. It's the idea of getting something that has only been fantasy for so long. > > Do you mean fantasy like... FANTASY? For real? > Fantasies do tend to go hand in hand with the sort of feelings we've been talking about.. Well, yeah, but... I suppose I never thought about it like that. That YOU might be thinking about it. Like that. > > > Was that an actual joke? > > It was! And, even more importantly, you GOT it. You think that means there's still a hope of me developing a sense of humor? > I'm beginning to think anything is possible. Good. That might mean I'm not a lost cause. > > > It's far more likely that Doyle would decide he wants to be with only you than with only me. You're the one he came back for. You're the one he died for in the first place. I can't see him giving that up now -- especially given the circumstances. > > I feel like you're not hearing me when I say that Doyle wouldn't be with you just because he couldn't have me. It's not like that. I know it's not. Would you believe Doyle if HE told you? > It isn't that so much as knowing who, if it came down to it, Doyle would choose. I guess I can't convince you, so maybe we should focus on figuring out a way to work this so he won't have to. - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel, > > That being stipulated, I do believe we were trying to arrange when we are going to meet to discuss things in person. I can do so whenever you're ready to. Which is all I've been saying. > Right. Got it. I don't suppose you have an idea of when that will be? > > > > I'm still not sure it's necessary, but apology accepted. > > > Thanks. I'm going to make it up to you, once I figure out how. > > All right, I know that's not necessary. Really. > *I* think it is. It's necessary for me. That said, if I end up trying to make it up to you in a way you don't like, make sure to say. If you're determined to do so, then yes, I will let you know if you are barking up the wrong tree as it were. > > > > > You are. Again, not necessarily good with words, here, but... I missed you. And not just recently. > > > > You wouldn't be alone in the missing. > > > Really? I'm... you're serious? > > I am. > That's... good to know. You can't think I was happy with the way things were between us lately. Or that I didn't miss the way we used to be. > > > > You've been rather like the north star; most of my actions in the past four years have been guided in one way or another by you. > > > Don't think I haven't appreciated all your help -- there were times when I don't know what I would have done without you. A lot of times, actually. > > I... am glad to have been of service. > I guess there's a reason you like putting it that way, huh. It's just the truth. It makes me happy to know I've helped, that I've made a difference for the better. > > > > It's not you that's scary. It's the idea of getting something that has only been fantasy for so long. > > > Do you mean fantasy like... FANTASY? For real? > > Fantasies do tend to go hand in hand with the sort of feelings we've been talking about.. > Well, yeah, but... I suppose I never thought about it like that. That YOU might be thinking about it. Like that. I have. For quite some time, actually. > > > > Was that an actual joke? > > > It was! And, even more importantly, you GOT it. You think that means there's still a hope of me developing a sense of humor? > > I'm beginning to think anything is possible. > Good. That might mean I'm not a lost cause. You're not. I never have thought you were. Even when you were doing a quite credible imitation of an idiot. > > > > It's far more likely that Doyle would decide he wants to be with only you than with only me. You're the one he came back for. You're the one he died for in the first place. I can't see him giving that up now -- especially given the circumstances. > > > I feel like you're not hearing me when I say that Doyle wouldn't be with you just because he couldn't have me. It's not like that. I know it's not. Would you believe Doyle if HE told you? > > It isn't that so much as knowing who, if it came down to it, Doyle would choose. > I guess I can't convince you, so maybe we should focus on figuring out a way to work this so he won't have to. That does seem to be the best thing to make the first priority. For Doyle's sake. At least we have an objective decided on for our meeting. Wesley __________ To: Wesley From: Angel Hi, Wes. > > > That being stipulated, I do believe we were trying to arrange when we are going to meet to discuss things in person. I can do so whenever you're ready to. Which is all I've been saying. > > Right. Got it. > I don't suppose you have an idea of when that will be? Tomorrow? Which, looking at the clock, would now be today. If that's okay with you, I mean. > > *I* think it is. It's necessary for me. That said, if I end up trying to make it up to you in a way you don't like, make sure to say. > If you're determined to do so, then yes, I will let you know if you are barking up the wrong tree as it were. You should always do that. Because I have a tendency to bark up the wrong tree, and a gentle hint's probably not going to cut it. > > That's... good to know. > You can't think I was happy with the way things were between us lately. Or that I didn't miss the way we used to be. Well... I would have said I'd hope you'd liked things the way they were, back then. You seemed happy enough. But it's hard to tell (see above, and me barking up the wrong tree) and you know what they say about the whole assuming thing. And it could just as easily have been the whole situation that you liked, and not just me. Or not individually me. Or whatever. > > > I... am glad to have been of service. > > I guess there's a reason you like putting it that way, huh. > It's just the truth. It makes me happy to know I've helped, that I've made a difference for the better. You have, in a lot of ways. > > > Fantasies do tend to go hand in hand with the sort of feelings we've been talking about.. > > Well, yeah, but... I suppose I never thought about it like that. That YOU might be thinking about it. Like that. > I have. For quite some time, actually. Thinking about that -- thinking about you thinking about that, I guess -- makes me... well. Thanks. The thinking's entirely mutual. > > > I'm beginning to think anything is possible. > > Good. That might mean I'm not a lost cause. > You're not. I never have thought you were. Even when you were doing a quite credible imitation of an idiot. Okay, I deserve as much of that as you want to toss in my direction, so I'm not going to complain. > > > It isn't that so much as knowing who, if it came down to it, Doyle would choose. > > I guess I can't convince you, so maybe we should focus on figuring out a way to work this so he won't have to. > That does seem to be the best thing to make the first priority. For Doyle's sake. At least we have an objective decided on for our meeting. So, later today, right? Get some sleep, and I'll see you later. - Angel __________ To: Angel From: Wesley Hello Angel, > > I don't suppose you have an idea of when that will be? > Tomorrow? Which, looking at the clock, would now be today. If that's okay with you, I mean. Tomorrow will be good. > > > *I* think it is. It's necessary for me. That said, if I end up trying to make it up to you in a way you don't like, make sure to say. > > If you're determined to do so, then yes, I will let you know if you are barking up the wrong tree as it were. > You should always do that. Because I have a tendency to bark up the wrong tree, and a gentle hint's probably not going to cut it. I will do my best. > > You can't think I was happy with the way things were between us lately. Or that I didn't miss the way we used to be. > Well... I would have said I'd hope you'd liked things the way they were, back then. You seemed happy enough. But it's hard to tell (see above, and me barking up the wrong tree) and you know what they say about the whole assuming thing. And it could just as easily have been the whole situation that you liked, and not just me. Or not individually me. Or whatever. It was the whole situation as much as anything, but you've always been at the core. > > > > I... am glad to have been of service. > > > I guess there's a reason you like putting it that way, huh. > > It's just the truth. It makes me happy to know I've helped, that I've made a difference for the better. > You have, in a lot of ways. Thank you. > > > > Fantasies do tend to go hand in hand with the sort of feelings we've been talking about.. > > > Well, yeah, but... I suppose I never thought about it like that. That YOU might be thinking about it. Like that. > > I have. For quite some time, actually. > Thinking about that -- thinking about you thinking about that, I guess -- makes me... well. Thanks. The thinking's entirely mutual. That is good to hear. > > > > I'm beginning to think anything is possible. > > > Good. That might mean I'm not a lost cause. > > You're not. I never have thought you were. Even when you were doing a quite credible imitation of an idiot. > Okay, I deserve as much of that as you want to toss in my direction, so I'm not going to complain. If you stop randomly acting like an idiot I wouldn't be able to say anything. Think about it as a goal to reach. > > > > It isn't that so much as knowing who, if it came down to it, Doyle would choose. > > > I guess I can't convince you, so maybe we should focus on figuring out a way to work this so he won't have to. > > That does seem to be the best thing to make the first priority. For Doyle's sake. At least we have an objective decided on for our meeting. > So, later today, right? Get some sleep, and I'll see you later. I will. Call when you get back to the city and I'll head over. Wesley Next Part Main Page Send Feedback