As Long As That's Clear by WesleysGirl Rating: NC-17 Giles/Xander Written for the 2008 Giles/Xander ficathon. For Zortified. Many thanks to Jane Davitt for the beta. "You know, you could have left me with her," Xander said, toying with the bit of pizza crust still in his hand. He'd been holding it for some time without eating it, a sure sign that something was troubling him. "Left you with who?" Giles asked. "Buffy. Well, cave-Buffy." Xander's eyes were carefully trained on his plate. Giles sighed. "Xander." Xander didn't look up. "Xander." "Look, if you're gonna tell me you were just worried about me, don't bother. I mean, I get it, and it's nice and everything. It's just not, you know, very conducive to my feeling manly." Xander sighed and looked up. "I guess I should go." "I thought you were planning to spend the night," Giles said, surprised. "Yeah, well, I'm not really in a very good mood. I was thinking it might be better for me to spare you the sulking or whatever this is." Xander stood up. "So that's it? You're leaving without even giving me an opportunity to explain?" It wasn't the first time Giles had found Xander's behavior infuriating -- it wasn't even the first time that day -- and he deliberately steeled his voice to make sure he had Xander's attention. "Sit down." Xander did. "The reason," Giles told him, "that I didn't want to leave you alone with Buffy is because she's the Slayer." "Tell me something I don't know," Xander said sullenly. "For a relatively young man, you seem to have developed the very bad habit of expecting the worst from every situation," Giles snapped. Xander raised his eyes to meet Giles', misery written all over him. It turned the irritation Giles had been feeling into sympathy. "It was for purely selfish reasons," he said, his voice gentler now. "Do you seriously think I could ever forgive myself if I left you alone in a situation that resulted in you being hurt?" "I hadn't thought about it that way," Xander admitted finally. "Well, you should." Giles put his hand on the sofa between them, palm up, and after a moment Xander grasped it with his own. He considered whether now might be the right time to say what he'd been thinking about for weeks, what had been growing since the night Xander had turned up at his doorstep wearing a hopeful expression and one of his ridiculous shirts unbuttoned one button too low for decorum. Oh, what the hell. "I love you." Xander blinked. His mouth opened, then closed without any sound having emerged. Giles felt heat rush to his cheeks. "You don't have to say anything," he managed quickly. "It's just that -- well, I suppose I thought you should know. I realize that you're, er, less experienced --" It was impossible not to acknowledge the vast difference in their ages, no matter how much he might have preferred it didn't exist. "And that this could be, um, more of an experiment than anything else --" "You know what?" Xander interrupted him, the look of surprise on his face having changed to what might have been anger just before he snatched his hand away. "Sometimes you're really a jerk." He stormed over to the door, then had to pause to untangle his trainers from several pairs of Giles' shoes that had been neatly lined up before Xander's had been carelessly kicked onto them. For once, Giles was grateful for Xander's casual messiness, because it gave him time to react. He stood and moved toward the door, reaching out for Xander. "I'm a jerk because I love you?" "No," Xander snapped, turning to glare at him. "You're a jerk because you think I'm just using you to... to sow my wild oats, or something! Seriously, Giles, what the fuck?! Why are you even doing this with me if you think I'm just some stupid kid who doesn't give a crap about you?" "I don't think that," Giles said, shocked by the vehemence in Xander's voice. "Really? Because that's what it sounds like. I mean, I know I'm no genius or anything, and you could probably have anyone you want, and I don't even get why you want me, but I love you, you stupid jerk!" Xander stopped, out of breath, flushed and furious and more beautiful than Giles had ever seen him. Giles stepped closer and kissed him. Xander hesitated for a few seconds, then kissed back, his mouth warm and familiar against Giles' own. When they pulled back, Xander asked, "Do you always kiss people who call you names?" "Not always," Giles said. "I'm sorry." "What for?" "For getting it so wrong. And you're not stupid -- even if I can be sometimes -- so I don't want to hear you saying that again. You're very bright, and I'm the one who can't sort out what you're doing with me." It wasn't the easiest thing to admit, but it seemed that they both might benefit from it being out in the open. "But you..." Xander's hand stroked Giles' side. "You're smart, and you know so much stuff. Not to mention the part where you're really, really good in bed." "You may not have much basis for comparison on that front," Giles told him, although he certainly liked hearing it. "Now you're just being modest," Xander said. "We can add that to the list of reasons why I'm insanely, crazily in love with you." He grinned widely. "God, it feels good to say that. I've been thinking it for weeks, but I was kind of worried you didn't feel the same way, and --" "I understand," Giles said. "I've been thinking it for weeks, too." He kissed Xander's temple, then the corner of his mouth. "It does feel good to say it." Xander reached up and took Giles' glasses carefully off his face, smiling. "And what does that look mean?" Giles asked. "It means you're about to get lucky," Xander said. He glanced toward the window. "You're not expecting anyone, are you?" "Other than you?" Giles shook his head."No. When do you imagine I might have time to go to bed with anyone else in addition to yourself?" Xander smacked him lightly on the chest. "I wasn't talking about sex," he said. "Pervert." "Ah, yes, whereas you are as pure as the driven snow," Giles said dryly. "You've never once, for example, begged for my tongue in your arse." "I'm pretty sure you like that as much as I do," Xander said, laughing. "Last time we did that, you came before you could even, you know." "Fuck you?" Giles finished for him. He leaned in and brushed his lips over Xander's ear. "I'd like to do that now. Or soon, if it wouldn't be too much trouble." Xander moaned softly. "Why do you think I asked if you were expecting anyone else?" "Oh, I thought you were hoping for a threesome," Giles said, eyes wide and innocent, then leapt away before Xander could hit him again. "No hitting!" Coming toward him steadily, Xander asked, "None at all? Not even a little?" He grabbed onto Giles, who was laughing and incapable of putting up much of a fight, and spun him around. Giles felt Xander's palm make contact with his arse in a quick, not-too-hard swat. "Xander!" "Oh, please." Xander swatted him again. "You act all scandalized, but you're not anywhere near as proper as you pretend to be." "You think so, do you?" Giles spun around and pulled Xander to him. "You should be glad I'm not," he said in a low voice. "If I were, I wouldn't do any of the things we both enjoy so much." "Like fucking me?" Xander asked. "That, yes," Giles agreed. "And other things." Xander looked back at him steadily, eyes wide and clear and hungry. "Show me?" Giles nodded and took Xander's hand. "Come upstairs, and I will." End. Fan Fiction Index   Feedback to WesleysGirl