|
Remember What You Already Know
by WesleysGirl
Rating: PG-13
Cordelia/Xander
Written for Sallyanne's Cordelia Ficathon -- February 2004 -- for Mydeira.
Thanks to Ginny for the beta.
A shadow fell across his desk, like someone was standing in the doorway, and Xander Harris looked
up, surprised.
But not as surprised as he was once his eye sent the message to his brain that the person standing
there was Cordelia Chase. He was vaguely aware that his mouth was hanging open, and that that
might actually not be a bad thing, since once he found his voice he'd start babbling and then it would
all be over.
"Hey," Cordy said.
"Hey," Xander said faintly. "What are you -- I mean, I thought you were coma girl."
"Emphasis on the 'was,'" Cordy said, coming into the room as Xander stood up and started to move
around the desk. She held her arms out slightly. "So do I get a hug for coming all this way to see you?"
Xander did hug her quickly, trying not to notice the extra weight on her that, okay, only made it harder
to feel her body against his without getting, well, harder. "Not to sound ungrateful, but what the heck
are you doing here?"
"I was in the neighborhood?" Cordelia shrugged a little bit, rolling her shoulders like she was still
getting used to the way things were.
"And I'm supposed to believe that?"
Cordy moved over to his desk and picked up the magnetic paperclip holder thing, shaking it. "Would
you buy 'It was on my way?'"
"This isn't on anybody's way to anywhere." Xander went back around the desk, but he didn't sit down
because the little voice in the back of his head said that was rude. Not that he usually listened to that
voice. "Although it'd be a better use of my cash than pretty much anything else you can buy around here.
Have you ever tried to send souvenirs from Malawi? I had to send Andrew a cichlid."
Cordelia glanced up from the paperclips. "Please tell me that's not some weird African sex toy."
Xander grinned. "It's a fish."
"You sent him a fish?" She set the plastic holder back down on the desk. "Remind me not to ask for
presents from you when you go on vacation."
Compromising on the sitting down thing, Xander perched himself on the edge of the desk instead.
"Vacation is when you pick somewhere fun to go. Malawi is more like exile."
"Pfff." Cordy made that noise that dismissed him as a complete idiot. "I saw Giles' face when he was
talking about you being out here. He was all, you know... proud."
"Really?" Xander looked down at the floor, feeling that goofy grin on his face, then back up at Cordelia,
sheepishly. "Proud?"
"Well duh." Cordelia ran her fingers through her hair, which wasn't too long and looked like she'd spent
some time sleeping on a plane. "He wouldn't have sent you out here all by yourself to do this Watcher
stuff if he didn't trust you."
"That's me, Trustworthy Man," Xander said. "Worthy of my own story line in a comic book."
Cordy laughed. "I'm glad you haven't outgrown the whole dork thing," she told him. "It's good to know
some things don't change."
"Plenty of things change." Xander pointed to his eye patch, wondering if it earned him another point in
the Cordelia Chase dork-o-meter.
But to his surprise, she actually looked kind of sad. She came over and touched the side of his face, really
gently like she thought maybe it still hurt. "Yeah, I heard. I mean, Giles told me. I guess he thought maybe that
wasn't the kind of thing I wanted to, you know... walked into unprepared."
"It's not so bad," Xander said. That wasn't totally true -- sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night
from a sound sleep, gasping as Caleb's thumb popped his eye like a grape, covered with sweat and needing
to puke -- but if he could do something to take that look off Cordy's face, the one that kind of reminded him
of Willow's in the hospital, then he'd do it. "Besides, it means I get to play pirate three hundred and sixty five
days a year. Three hundred and sixty six, on leap year."
Cordy smiled, but her eyes looked too bright. Maybe that was just some kind of side effect from the whole
coma thing. "Uh-huh."
Xander moved away from her, pretending like he needed to pace when really it had just been too long since
he'd been close to someone who looked that good and smelled that good and... okay, pretty much everything
about Cordelia was good. "Anyway, when did you, you know... wake up? Why didn't someone call me?"
"A couple of weeks ago. They had me on this whole magical life support thing that kept my body in its state
of usual perfection, so one day I just... opened my eyes, and stuff went back to normal." She seemed like she
was trying way too hard.
"Normal's good." Xander wasn't sure he'd even recognize normal at this point, it'd been so long since he'd
seen it. "And again we're back to the question of what you're doing here."
"I wanted to see you." Cordy shrugged a little bit, a funny look on her face, like she was confused and
sorry and kind of sad all at the same time. "I woke up, and it was like... I needed to see everyone. You
know -- something happens, and you want to kind of remind yourself where you came from."
Xander frowned and gestured at the small room. "I'm pretty sure it wasn't here."
She took two steps closer and gave him a smack that was way harder than he'd have anticipated. "You
know what I mean."
"No, I really don't," Xander said, rubbing at his arm.
"I just... I wanted to see for myself that everybody was okay." Cordy reached for his hand. Hers felt
cold. "Giles told me about Anya."
Hearing the name out loud hurt worse than Cordy hitting him had. "Yeah. I mean, we weren't really together
anymore, when she..."
Cordy stepped closer, and took his face between her hands, and pressed her mouth to his. Her lips were
cold too, but the kiss felt... real. Real in a way he hadn't felt for a long time, that had nothing to do with bodies
or sex or his insistent growing erection that hadn't seemed to have gotten the message that he wasn't
seventeen anymore.
Xander wanted to wrap his arms around Cordy, to pull her closer and kiss her and not stop, maybe ever.
But he didn't, and after a minute she pulled away. There were tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry." It sounded like
she was apologizing for a lot in those two words.
"Me too," Xander said, his voice hoarse. "I'm glad you woke up."
Cordy smiled tremulously and took his hand again, squeezing it with that weird combination of strength
and vulnerability she had. "Me too."
End.
|