Kagome ran.  She didn’t care about her destination.  All she knew is that she couldn’t stay and watch them.  “That jerk, that jerk, that jerk,” echoed in her mind.  The look in their eyes as they held each other… Kagome knew there was no room for her between them.  If they had turned in the moment that she stepped out from behind the tree, they would have seen her heart break. 

Her foot caught on something and her body fell to the ground.  She rolled up into a ball and began to cry.  “This is what he wants,” she told herself.  “He was always in love with her… Kikyou.”  Kagome wrapped her arms around herself and sobbed harder.  “How could I be such a fool and fall for him?”

She sat up suddenly and pushed herself to stand on wobbly knees.  She knew where she had to go.  The well was her only option.  She was through with this life of shard gathering.  He had Kikyou now, so he didn’t need Kagome. 

Kagome’s ankle throbbed with pain.  She limped on it, following the path to the well.  She found it easily, as if it had been waiting for her.  It even knew that she no longer had a place there.  She sat on the edge and swung her legs in. 

“Kagome?” a young voice called out. 

Kagome turned in the direction of the voice.  A kitsune stood, staring up at her.  “Shippou…” she whispered. 

“Where are you going?  Why are you crying?” he asked.

“I’m… I’m going home now… forever,” she said with fake calm.

“Why?”

“I’m no longer needed here,” she said, dropping her eyes to stare at the wooden frame of the well.

“What do you mean?  We need you.  I need you.  Inu Yasha...”

“No!” she cut him off.  “No he doesn’t… at least not anymore.  Here,” she said pulling off her necklace of jewel shards.  “Give this to him.  Tell him I’m through.”  She placed the necklace in his little hands.  “Take care of yourself, Shippou.   I’ll miss you.  I’ll miss the others too.”

“Please don’t go, Kagome… Whatever he did, I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” the fox boy begged, tears filling his eyes.

“Yes, he did… I know he did,” she cried, wiping her own tears from her eyes.  “Farewell,” she whispered and kissed his forehead.  She jumped into the well before he could protest.

She climbed back up into her own time feeling strangely empty.  Questing for jewel shards had taken up a great deal of her life.  Now that was gone and she felt dissatisfied.  She left the well shrine and went directly to the house.  The world was quiet and peaceful.  A small bird sang from the sacred tree as she walked into the house.  “I’m home!” she cried as she removed her shoes and put on her slippers. 

“That’s nice, dear.  I have the supplies for your next trip all ready for you in your room,” Mrs. Higurashi said with a smile.

“Thanks Mom, but I’m not going back,” Kagome said, sitting down at the table to a plate of cookies her mother set out for her.

“What do you mean, dear?”

“I quit,” she said between cookies.

“Whatever for?  You always liked your adventures in the past.”

“I just… I…” she stumbled over her words.  Her tears came back and she wiped them away. 

Her mother wrapped her arms around her.  “It’s alright.  Go take a hot bath and relax.”

Kagome nodded and stood to go to her room.

In the furo she leaned against the rim and sighed.  She gave it all up, the life of a quest taker.  Let HIM have it with HER.  “But originally it was no problem that he was in love with her,” a little part of her mind said.  “Yeah, but that was before she came back to life.”  She trailed her fingertips in the water, watching the steam rise.  “That was before I loved him.”  She slammed her fist into the water, making it splash out of the furo.  She covered her face with her hands and let the tears come.  For a few moments she had a good, hard cry.  It left her feeling hollow.  She rinsed her face in the water and climbed out of the furo.  Her emotions demanded sleep. 

Her pajamas were soft and warm and her bed sheets were cool and inviting.  It had been a long time since she got a decent night’s sleep on her own mattress.  She turned off the lights and nestled into the blankets, holding her pillow tightly.  “I get to be a normal girl now,” she told herself as she drifted off to a restless sleep.

Sometime before dawn she awoke to a strange feeling.  It wasn’t a noise as much as it was a presence.  “Who’s there?” she called out into the darkness. 

“Me,” a voice answered her with a hint of a growl.

She knew the voice.  That voice used to send her heart fluttering in her chest, especially if it gave her nice words to hear.  But now… it was the only voice she couldn’t handle.  “Go away,” she said, rolling over.

“No,” the voice responded.

“This is my room.  Leave now or suffer my wrath,” she said quietly.

“No, not until you tell me what’s wrong with you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Then why did you tell Shippou you were leaving and never coming back?”

“What do you care?  You have your precious shards, so leave me alone.”

“No, I don’t care about that.  We need you.”

“Inu Yasha!” she seethed and turned on her light.  The harsh light temporarily blinded her.  When her vision came back she saw an unnerved half demon squatting beside her bed.  He blinked at her, his irises contracting.  “You don’t need me.  You always say that you’ve never needed me except as a jewel detector.  Now you have someone to replace me… so go to her.”  She turned off the light and rolled over towards the wall. 

“Kagome,” he whispered, his voice revealing his hurt.  “She’s not you.”

“Leave me alone,” she whispered.  Tears ran down her cheeks, soaking her pillow.  “Go to the one you love.”

“No…”

Kagome turned over and reached out into the darkness.  Her hand hit his chest and her fingers found the prayer beads.  She gave it a yank and was strangely satisfied to hear the beads bounce off the floor of her room.  “You’re free, so leave!” she cried.  Her composure broke and she sobbed into the pillow.  “Go, go, go…” she moaned.

Something touched her cheek.  Cool fingers traced her tears, wiping them away.  They smelt of earth and wild forests.   Another hand rested on her shoulder and rolled her onto her back.  Strong hands burrowed under her body and wrapped around her waist.  Hands spread and squeezed her shoulder blade and hip.  Warm lips touched her cheek.  “What have I done to you?” hot breath whispered in her ear.  “Why do you push me away?”

“I saw… you and… Kikyou…” she whispered.

He gasped.  He hugged her tighter and buried his muzzle against her neck.

“There’s no room for me, Inu Yasha.  I saw it.  You still love each other.”

Something hot and wet touched her neck.  He caught her lips with his.  Gently his tongue touched her lips and little sobs broke against her mouth.  His teardrops landed her cheeks.  “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.  He returned his face to her neck.  “I’m so very sorry.”

“What for?”

“For everything.”

“Will you go now?”

“Don’t you… love me?”

“You love her.”

His arms squeezed her.  “She’s not really the Kikyou I knew.”

“What are you saying?  She looks…”

“Looks, yes.  And a part of her is Kikyou… But most of the Kikyou I knew is still in you.”

Kagome held her breath for a moment to let his words sink in.  “So… I’m only a surrogate for you to love.”  She stiffened in his arms and pushed him away.  “Please go.”

“You don’t understand, Kagome.  I have to pacify her pain and return her to you.”

“And then what?”

“Then… I don’t know.  I was hoping you knew.”

“Go…”

He didn’t move from his spot.  He sighed heavily.  “I didn’t mean to hurt you.  I… Will you come back?  Shippou is such a pain without you.  He nearly ripped off my ears when I found him.  He told me what you said about never coming back and… I was a little… hurt.  It didn’t help that the brat was chomp-ing on my head.  He needs you.  They need you.”  Something was placed into her hand.  “I need you.”  He stood and retreated through her window.  “More than you know,” wafted behind him.

Kagome was alone with her thoughts.  She weighed the shard necklace in her hand.  His words echoed back to her, “I need you, more than you know.” Hastily she fastened the necklace around her neck and burrowed back down into the blankets.

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