| Tainted by Leloi Five years… it’s been five years since Naraku’s defeat. I am past the life expectancy given to me by my master or the one that cursed me. I am a survivor. That seems odd to me… survivor… and yet I sit here on my twenty fifth birthday, knowing my father and grandfather never reached my age… I know I’m a survivor. Naraku is defeated… and my hand is once again whole. I was only a child when my void developed. Since that time, every year I felt less and less sensation in my hand… the numbness spreading outwards as the void took control. Now the palm is whole, but undefined. No lines cross it and I wonder if I am a man with a past, present of future. It is a beautiful day as I sit here, beneath the tree that shades our modest hut. I await my wife, my companion, my partner… my best friend. Most men in this village don’t know our past. We came here because they didn’t know where we came from. We wanted our lives to be as normal as possible after Naraku was gone. I’m no longer a monk… although I still find peace in the way of life I once embodied. My powers of perception are still within my grasp, but I live as a village man now. An occasional demon comes and my wife and I face it together, protecting our home. I have adjusted rather well to the role of husband. Gone are the days of asking beautiful women to bear me heirs. My life belongs to one woman and only one woman. I would never dream of taking concubines even if I could afford them. And the geishas aren’t nearly as pretty as they once were. My heart belongs to just one. Sango… I’m worried about her. Lately she seems preoccupied with our lack of children. Not that it doesn’t concern me, there’s nothing more I want than a dozen children hanging off of me, calling me papa. But that’s not why I married her. I married her because she completes me. I know that sounds like some poetic crap, but honestly… that’s how I feel. Never in my life had I ever met anyone so impassioned with life as she had been. There was a tragic grace about her spirit that first made me notice her. Then as I got to know her I saw the beautiful woman within her slowly bloom with trust and caring and I prayed every night to Buddha that one day I would find a woman like her to bear my children. But I already had her. She felt for me as I felt for her. It was only a matter of time before we would both understand that. But I know… by loving her as I did… I couldn’t burden her with my legacy. I know what it had done to my mother to lose my father and I would not, could not do the same to Sango. I have no doubt that my old man loved my mother, but it nearly killed her to lose him like that. No… I couldn’t hurt Sango like that. If it meant my line ended with me… so be it. Only if I could become an old man at her side would I even think of sharing my children with her. Our children… I have not been slacking in my husbandly duties. In fact there’s nothing I enjoy more than being one with her in body. It’s one of those things I’m glad that I wasn’t successful in being with other women. My first time was with me wife and I feel no regrets about that… no matter how inexperienced we both were. But… we’ve been trying for five years to have a child. I feel… I’ve failed her in some way. She blames herself no matter what I say. Each month we try and each month it doesn’t work. I can’t help but feel like somewhere in the shadow realm, Naraku is laughing at us. It’s infuriating to know he still has so much control over our lives. Both of us were marked by that bastard… his taint is still within us both. I can FEEL it. Sango returns. I must go to her… ~.^ I was right. It IS because Naraku poisoned our bodies. Even if she lay with another man, she would still be unable to conceive. I, on the other hand… literally… it seems the Saimyoushou’s poison lingers longer than we thought. Neither one of us can produce children. It’s not fair. I would give anything to ease Sango’s pain over this. But I feel just as helpless as she does. Over and over again she tries to tell me that it is all her fault, but I know it isn’t. She can’t take responsibility for Naraku. Even when I tell her that she doesn’t listen… and my saying it just seems to make her angry. Sango is angry now. I feel it best to let her have some time to herself… so once again I sit below our tree. She told me I would be better off without her. That isn’t true. I can’t believe that for a moment. The hut is quiet… too quiet. Back to the Gallery |