He took a deep breath and alighted near the rest of the group’s camp.  No one looked up as he straightened his legs from the landing.  He stood, watching them go about their camp rituals.  Miroku and Sango finished gathering the firewood into a small pile.  Kagome was going through her pack with Shippou bouncing excitedly beside her, hoping for an extra piece of candy.  Finally Miroku stood back and admired his handy work with the placement of the wood.  He wiped his hands together and looked up at the half demon.  Inuyasha made eye contact and nodded. 

The monk returned the nod.  He picked up his staff and looked around the group.  “I just thought of something.  Shippou, can you help me?”

The fox boy looked puzzled.  “Um… sure,” and followed the monk out of the camp.

Sango smiled at Kagome.  “I think I’ll go help.”

Kagome put down her textbook and began to stand.  “I’ll go too.”

Sango blushed.  “No!  You stay here.  It won’t take long.”  She smiled nervously, glancing at Inuyasha before following in the direction the monk had gone.

Kagome watched her friends leave in confusion.  She picked up her textbook and added it to the small pile she had been sorting through.  Inuyasha collapsed heavily beside her and stared at the pile of wood that would later be a popping, hissing campfire.  “That was odd,” Kagome said quietly, turning back to her bag of provisions to pull out a few notebooks and a pencil case.

“Kagome,” Inuyasha began, not taking his eyes from the pile of wood. 

“Hmm?”  She responded distractedly.

He stared at the wood.  The rough texture of the bark was fascinating.  It cracked to reveal a dark inner world.  A tiny ant explored the bark and he focused on it.  “Kagome… About those bandits… When I…” He swallowed hard.  He could hear her pause in her rummaging.

“What about it?” she whispered with a touch of sadness in her voice.

“Were you… afraid of me?”

She was silent.  The ant reached the end of the branch and wandered aimlessly, wondering where to go next.  “Why would I be afraid of you?”

He lowered his eyes and stared at the hems of his sleeves.  They were dirty.  He should wash his robe soon.  “Because that wasn’t me.  Whatever I was didn’t know you.  You can’t trust in it.”

“No…”

“Listen to me,” he moaned softly, tearing his eyes away from the ground to find her staring at him with half formed tears.  He looked back to the ground.  “I could have killed you.”

“But you didn’t.”  Her voice was desperate for reassurance.

“What about next time?” he whispered.

“Next time…”

He turned to stare at her, taking her shaking hands in his own.  “You must promise me something.”

“What?”  She stared at him in such pain, it hurt to look at her, but he forced himself to.

“If I come after you… don’t hesitate to use your arrows on me.  Pin me to a tree… kill me if you have to.  Just promise you’ll stop me before I go too far.”

“Inuyasha…”

“Promise me!” he snarled, clutching her hands.  “Please promise me, Kagome,” he whimpered.  Her eyes held too much pain.  He dropped her hands and turned away.  “I’ve never taken a human life before this.  Other demons can do it without a thought.  I envied them… Such strong control over their emotions…”

“Inuyasha…”

“I’m weak,” he sighed, closing his eyes to the world around him.  “Kagome?”  He turned to her and stole a glance at her before looking away.  “Will you promise me?”

“No.” 

“He closed his eyes and shook away the horrible visions that clouded his mind.  “Don’t be stupid, woman.  You won’t be able to defend yourself.  I could kill you or worse.”

“I won’t kill you.”

“Trap me then… whatever you must do to stop me.”  He concentrated on the shivers that ran up and down his spine.”  Just make sure I stay there so no one will release me.”

“No.”

He raised a shaking hand to his forehead.  “You’re making this very difficult.  I don’t want to hurt you.  If I did… I couldn’t live.  I’ve already asked Miroku and Sango to dispose of me if I kill you.”

“Why me?”

“What?”  Her question caught him off guard and he forced himself to look at her.

“Why are you so concerned about me?  Why not Miroku, Sango or Shippou?”

His eyes settled back on the firewood.  “Kikyou died because of me.”

“I’m not Kikyou.”

“No… you’re not,” he sighed and closed his eyes.  “I can’t lose you the way I lost her… My heart won’t take it.”

“Your heart…?”

He stared at her, willing her to understand so he wouldn’t have to say the words.  “My heart,” he repeated.  He looked back at the safe firewood.  “I am such a weak demon… very human.  Especially my heart.”  He felt open and raw under her gaze, and yet comforted.  She always made him feel that way.

“And your soul.”

He sniffled.  She knew him too well.

“I think the only part of you that is demon is your body.”

He bowed his head under her gaze.  “It’s my body you should fear.”

Warm arms surrounded him from behind.  He leaned back against her, allowing himself to feel pleasure at her touch.  Who knew when they would touch again.  It was something he constantly ached for, but never had the courage to do.  Her body was warm against his back and her chin was heavy on his shoulder.  Her skin let off a sweet, clean scent… not like the sour or musky smell that clung to most humans.  Her hair brushed his cheek as she nestled her head against his neck.  Her arms tightened around his chest.  “I trust in you,” she whispered.

He shivered and she held him tighter.  He twisted in her embrace and hugged her back.  “I’ll only hurt you,” he moaned.  “My demon side will destroy everything.”

“You have to learn to control it, that’s all.  I’ll be right beside you, all the way.”

“Why?”

“Why not?  I’m your friend, aren’t I?”

He squeezed her against him.  The prospect of friends sent shivers down his spine.  “Yes… my friend,” he sighed.  “But as my friend, I ask that you don’t let me go too far.”

“I won’t,” she whispered, her hot breath caressing his neck.  “I promise I won’t.”

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