Trials of Courtship part 1


Summary: Danielle ponders her own feelings for Logan - written in her POV


What the hell is Marie up ta?  I can only begin to wonder.  She thinks the Wolverine and I need to hook up.  Yeah, maybe we do.  Maybe the simple fact of the matter is that the Wolverine is just lookin' for a good fuck - add me to his long list of conquered women.  I don't need to be his diversion.  I would rather die a painful drawn out death before allowing myself to fall prey to that shit.  Why doesn't he just finish what he started with Jean?  Funny though, I didn't smell her on him when I hugged him before.  If they had done it, I would have smelled her scent on him.  All I picked up was him.  Or, am I deluding myself?

But, part of me aches for him.  I never have felt such a strong attraction for anyone before.  It scares the shit outta me that I could feel this strongly.  I never thought I would feel this for someone.  I am afraid to trust.  What if he hurts me like John did?  What the hell am I gonna do?  Why the hell doesn't he do something to make me feel it is ok to want him?  Maybe he's scared of me too.  Hell, I am just like 'im in so many ways - we're both feral, both headstrong survivors, and got that same gift to heal.  A fuckin' match made in heaven.  God dammit that I want him.  I know he wants me - that hard on in his pants was
proof enough.  But, does he want me the way I want him?  I don't want to just be another notch in his belt.  I want him - all of him, issues and all.  

Christ, why am I beatin' myself up over this?  Son of a bitch just wants to screw me - that's all.  I know that has to be it.  Aw, shit, maybe I should just let him.  God knows it would be good - he's a fuckin' animal.  So am I for that matter.  We could just go for it and forget it eva happened.

Shit, shit, shit - but I think I am in love with 'im and there ain't shit I can do about it.  Every time he looks at Jean I can see he wants her.  He always did from what I heard and seen for myself.  He's on the rebound and that ain't good.  Fuckin' is all he would be good for - forget fallin' in love.

God,  I would die to have his arms around me holdin' me close and meanin' it.  To be the Wolverine's possession - yeah, that would be cool - his eternal mate.  Stupid bitch - what the hell are ya thinkin'?

The tears fall - tears of pain, rage, hurt - of desire - a strong desire and attraction and wanting and longing and needing - more than just the physical desire but an emotional one.  One of love - a strong love I cannot begin to put into words.  My heart pounds whenever he's near or whenever I sense him watchin' me in the distance.  Why is the Wolverine staying so far away?  Please come to me - tell me what you feel.  Tell me your deepest darkest secrets - I won't make fun.  You know that.  You trusted me with some little tidbits.  Spill your soul to me.  Open yer heart to me.  Be my animal. Let me in, Logan - let me be the one.

She sits down and puts a CD into her player.  Listening to the lyrics of her favorite Def Leppard song, she sits down and cries.

Let Me Be The One - Def Leppard (from the album X)

Something in the way you move
Lets me get too close to you
I tremble when I look at your face
And I want all the world to see
Tonight the world belongs to me
Touch me with your animal grace

Put your hand on my heart
And the feel the need in me

Let me be the one
Lead me into temptation
And show me the right side of wrong
Let me be the one
Take me in from the cold
Gimme something to hold
Let me be the one
Let me be the one

Burning in the afterglow
Catch the wind and let it go
Washed away like words in the sand
A passion that's so physical, electric and untouchable
Don't wanna let it slip through my hands

Put your hand on my heart
And the feel the need in me

Let me be the one
Lead me into temptation
And show me the right side of wrong
Let me be the one
Take me in from the cold
Gimme something to hold

Don't let this dream pass by
Just spread your wings and fly
Reach out and touch
Let your heart just bring me in
I'll be your oxygen

Put your hand on my heart
And the feel the need in me

Let me be the one
Lead me into temptation
And show me the right side of wrong
Let me be the one
Take me in from the cold
Gimme something to hold
Let me be the one
Let me be the one
Ohoh, let me be the one
Let me be the one