Logan reacts to finding out about
|Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life
Creed "With Arms Wide Open"
Logan sat outside and attempted to light his cigar. His hands trembled so strongly with feelings of terror racing through him. Pictures danced in his head of the image of the baby Danielle was carrying - his baby. It had been 24 hours since he learned of her pregnancy and the shock of it all was really sinking in. He had seen the ultrasound pictures of the fetus - it was real - it was his. He announced to the entire Xavier School of his wanting to take Danielle as his wife - his mate forever. Then, he announced to everyone how he and Danielle were expecting a child. Jesus, Danielle was pregnant with his baby. The thought really sunk in. His pulse again quickened and tears appeared in his eyes threatening to fall. He slammed down his cigar and covered his face in his hands and sobbed deeply.
"Hey, you ok?" a soft and familiar female voice said.
A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder. Did he dare look at who had joined him? He knew he was a dam of emotions spilling over. He uncovered his face and looked to his side - it was Jean. She sat down next to him and wiped away the tears glistening on his flushed face.
"I thought you could use a friend right now," Jean said.
"Jesus, Jean. Danielle's gonna have my baby. What the hell am I gonna do?" Logan asked. His voice was raspy and harsh from the cascading emotions.
"You are gonna do like any first time father - be nervous, question yourself on whether or not you can handle this. It's normal, Logan - very normal," Jean said trying to comfort him.
She took his hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"Can I do this? Can I be a father? Christ, Jean, I'm really scared. What if I fuck up again?" Logan asked.
Jean felt Logan's fears ebbing from him. She smiled softly and cocked her head slightly to the side. It amazed her on how affected Logan really was - the ultrasound of Danielle's unborn child rocked his world. Slowly and gently, Jean put her arm around Logan. He leaned into her embrace and sobbed again. She had only seen him this torn apart once before, and that was when Danielle had been near death at the hands of William Stryker and her exboyfriend, John. Jean felt his entire body quaking with emotions and tried again to calm him down.
"Logan, relax. Listen to me - you need to be strong for yourself, for Danielle, and for that little baby inside of her. I know you are scared - it's completely normal to feel the way you do. Being a parent is a big responsibility. This is going to change your world, and for the better if you choose. You are going to make mistakes. There are no hard set rules on having babies and raising them," Jean said. "You are happy about this, aren't you?"
"Of course, I am. I...I never expected..." he trailed off.
Jean could feel Logan gripping her like a scared child as he buried his face into the crook of her neck. She ran her hand over his back letting her fingertips slide over him in a slow and gentle up and down motion. He finally completely broke down and cried - letting his feelings pour out of him. He knew he would need lots of help. Logan had no reference points for being a father - he couldn't remember even being a child himself.
"Oh, Logan. It's gonna be ok. You are going to do just fine. We will all be here guiding you," she said.
Logan pulled back and sniffled back any other tears that were going to be shed.
"Ya think I will be a good father?" Logan asked.
"I know you are going to be," Jean answered. "You are going to be a great father and you are going to have a beautiful baby with Danielle."
Logan sat up straight and wiped away the rest of the tears. He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly closing his eyes. He slowly opened his eyes again feeling his heartbeat had returned to normal. A great sense of pride fell over him and he looked Jean in the eye with that strong feral confidence he was known for.
"I can do this. I can do this. I'm gonna be the best dad ever," he said.
"Yes, you are. Come on now. Danielle's going to wonder where you went to," Jean said.